Picking Pick up lines

"How many of these things have you sold?" said me uncle. He used to work in Coal-MINING. We gave him the benefit of the doubt when we called him our uncle, but we think he's really not one of us. Tables are turning, minds are churning, pornography is destroying our uncles, our this, our that. These days it's all about MUSCLE. Cash flowing from the WALLET. Superficial and maniacal, that's why we fantasize. PORNOGRAPHY has contributed to the EPITOMY OF BAD, called the internet. It's been extremely bad for all of the children and me uncle was the first to called it out in the late 90s. Guys, if you're on this path for real, comment "Yes, I'm gonna do this". \-Damien

I have created the perfect formula for helping my guy friends pick up chicks in bars. Men, all you need is one female friend or buddy’s girlfriend (let’s call her Hannah) to help and the hot chick you want to meet needs to be at the bar. Step 1: Hannah goes up to bar next to the hot chick you want to pick up. Step 2: Hannah compliments the hot chick on literally anything (“omg I love your hair color who is your stylist?” “wow that jacket is awesome, where can I find one” etc.). We all love talking to chicks who say nice things about us. Step 3: While Hannah is chatting up hot girl on her right, you are buying three shots on her left. Step 4: You offer a shot to Hannah while she is still chatting up hot chick. Step 5: Hannah (loudly) claims she can’t find her boyfriend who the third shot was purchased for. Since Hannah and hot chick are now BFFs, she turns to hot chick and says the following “My friend Jake here bought my boyfriend and I a shot but we can’t find him anywhere, do you want to take it with us?” Introduce yourself. Offer hot girl the shot. Emphasize that Hannah’s boyfriend disappeared, etc. Step 6: Hot girl ALWAYS says yes because hot girls at bars love free shots. Step 7: Hannah takes a shot. Tells Lexi (all hot girls are named Lexi) it was nice to meet her, and dips out. You are left chatting up Lexi, buy her a drink, drunkenly make out with her in a corner after 2 hours, etc.p Why does this work? 1. When Hannah compliments Lexi (aka hot chick), Lexi automatically likes Hannah and sees that she’s totally normal and super nice. 2. By you being friends with Hannah, it makes you seem like a regular cool guy and you must be great if you have such cool female friends. 3. Because you’re buying shots, you also seem like a pretty cool dude. Everyone loves the guy who buys people shots. 4. And most importantly, because Hannah lies about her boyfriend being in the bathroom or wherever, hot chick knows you two aren’t hooking and that Hannah is not a threat. Hannah wins because she gets a free shot. Lexi wins because she gets a free shot and gets to meet a cool person like yourself. You win because awesome hot chicks like us let you buy us shots. Go forth and conquer, my friends.

I feel like picking up girls at the gym is the hardest thing to do, assuming most girls don't want to be bothered and can't hear you anyway with their headphones in. What is your move when trying to talk to girls at the gym?

If you’re picking up trash then you better come back and pick up me

Cos I'm picking you up

That’s why my starter is “hey girl, does this rag smell like chloroform?”