Fear Pick up lines

A lot of guys say “I don’t know what to say when I approach a woman,” so I decided to write this article with some tips. The thing women are most attracted to is an adventure, and a fun conversation should be an adventure where you and her are tackling a difficult, interesting, and fun subject, with you in the lead. The “value” you provide her is your leadership in the conversation, and the value she provides is that she contributes to the fun of the conversation. Your goal, therefore, is to get the conversation to a point where it is fun and interesting before she loses interest and becomes bored. To do this you must “hook” her with an opener, and then you can hopefully get the conversation to a point where you are talking about deep, fun, interesting stuff as quick as possible. **Openers** A compliment is a great opener because it implies that she has already done something to contribute to your emotional experience. You can say “Hey, you look fucking amazing” or “Hey you look fucking hot” or “Hey, I love your shoes, backpack, hair, etc…” or “I fucking love your energy and aura.” If she reacts with interest, you can follow it up with “What’s your name” or something like “You are hot, but are you nice/cool/etc…?” If a girl is having a great time and exuding joy and positivity, I will make that the basis of my compliment and say something like “You look like you are having the most fun of any person here” or “Damn, I love how you came to turn the fuck up tonight” or “Thanks for coming. This party is so much better because of you.” I can already hear you dorks squealing “you can’t tell a girl she looks hot! You will look needy, creepy, etc…” Wrong. As you will learn, creepiness is when you do more for a woman than she has done for you or than she deserves. If a girl spends a bunch of time doing her hair and makeup before she goes out and you tell her that she looks great, you are doing the right amount for her. If, however, you tell her she looks hot and she brushes you off, and then you hang around staring at her with your tongue out, THEN you look creepy. A simple and effective opener is to introduce yourself. “Hi, my name is X. What’s yours?” This is good for more formal situations where you can’t go around telling girls they look fucking hot. If you are in a party or something where everybody knows each other, you should introduce yourself to every single girl there as a matter of course. You can also keep it simple and go with “Hey, how are you?” or “What’s going on with you?” or “Hey, what’s up?” Because these statements have relatively low emotional impact, you need to deliver them with extra intensity. If a woman is mid-conversation with somebody else, you can butt in and say “Hey I’m really sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to say you look fucking amazing.” If there is a group, you can hand out compliments to the entire group, but you should quickly settle on one woman and make it clear to everybody that she is your target. If you want to get a little spicy, you can try the following: “Sorry for interrupting, but you are too hot for this place.” If you want to get extra extra spicy, you can say “you are too hot for these guys you are with.” If the girl is clearly too good for the guys she is with and is clearly unhappy with them, this can work. Otherwise, it is risky. “So, what’s your deal?” (with a sly grin) “Congratulations, what’s it like to be the hottest girl in this club?” If you have a friend with you, a very effective approach is to go up to the girls and introduce them to your friends. For some reason, this technique has been very effective for me, and I am not sure why. It might be because I am immediately giving my friend social proof in front of the women, or maybe it is because my friend does not look needy because he is technically not the one doing the approach. For whatever reason, it works. Many men approach women and immediately lose confidence or their mind goes blank. To prevent yourself from doing this, I suggest at least one follow up line to keep the conversation going. “Where were you before this?” or “What have you been up to tonight?” “What did you do today?” (This one sounds weird but it is actually very effective. Everybody is thinking about what they did that day, and it sounds like something you would hear from somebody you were close with). “What brings you here tonight?” “Have you been here before?” “Are you having a fun night?” “How do you guys know each other?” (when there are two people) For your second line, you can also use one of your other openers. For example, if you open with “hey my name is” your second line can be “you look fucking hot.” If you think those lines are corny and you think you can do better, then fuck off and think of your own. Remember, these scripted lines are back-up plans for when you cannot think of anything else. It is always better to be in the moment. What you say doesn’t matter as much as how you say it. **Deep conversation subjects** Ideally, your goal should be to get the conversation as deep as possible as quickly as possible. The purpose is for you and her to go on an adventure and “conquer” the difficult question. Here are some go-to questions I use, including my answers for these questions. What is the craziest thing you believe? (My answer: I believe in mind reading) Do you believe in ghosts? Aliens? (My answer: I am open to anything being true) What is your favorite conspiracy theory? (My answer: That Paul McCartney died in a car accident in the 60s and the current Paul McCartney is an imposter) What do you think a dream is? (My answer: a dream if your subconscious brain trying to help you solve a problem) If you could be any celebrity, who would you be? What is your idea of a perfect day? (Wake up, get high, go surfing, drink some cappuccino, have a delicious meal, fuck somebody I like) What do you think love is? (My answer: when you commit to doing the best thing for the other person, no matter what ‘the best’ is) What do you think a true friend is? (My answer: somebody who will be there for you at 3 AM). What superpower would you have if you could have any? (My answer: flying) What would you do if you had all the money in the world (My answer: buy myself an island and help poor people) What are you reading now? (My answer: whatever I am reading at that time). Other good subjects are drug stories, stories about times you did something really stupid, uplifting stories about a time when somebody was a good friend, and stories about a time you were really scared/embarrassed/uplifted/excited. Basically, any strong emotion. Because these subjects are deep, sometimes controversial, and require vulnerability, please make sure you do not say anything rude or judgmental. If you ask somebody what the craziest thing they believe is, and then you make fun of them for it after they do it, they will not open up to you again. Most people refrain from talking about subjects like this for the very reason that they are afraid of being judged. You want her to feel comfortable, open, and vulnerability. You might say “these are pretty serious subjects to bring up to a woman.” You are right – you have to find a way to talk about this stuff in a light-hearted, fun way. Take away the stigma and pressure off of these subjects and make her feel like there is no “wrong” answer and you are both there to have fun, not for anybody to “win” or make the other person feel bad. The purpose of these questions is to spark a deep, interesting conversation that touches people’s emotions: their desires, their fears, their values, etc… **Topics to Stay Away From** Stay away from anything relating to politics or religion if it something that you and her will inevitably disagree on. Also stay away from boring subjects like “what is your favorite movie or album”? That stuff is actually much less interesting and deep than people think. Stay away from exes. Stay away from subjects that could be interpreted as creepy – if you are interested in famous rapists or serial killers, you may want to keep that to yourself until you guys know each other very well.

*I would never cry in fear of losing you.*

I would never cry, for fear of losing you.

I would never cry for fear of losing you.

This is not a process that comes in one day. This is how I went about it. One thing you must do is to be constantly learning. Watch and follow different people and coaches and try to take and adapt the information to your specific situation. You must be always questioning what they are saying don´t just accept what they say at face value. Even experts have their own blind spots!! While I was gaming, I was following different people with different approaches, then question those approaches and take my own conclusions. So how did I shift my paradigm? I was always curious. You reinforce the paradigm you are in when you do it over and over again, and that happens because you do not question it. For me it was always about questioning. When I saw other behaviors, I asked: “Where am I doing that?" "Where am I acting like that?” It is easier to watch others and see where they are fucking up but much harder to be self-aware and see where you are fucking up. Until you bring it to your awareness!! Being curious about your own mindset, your own thoughts, your own emotions. Ask “why should I feel like this or why I assume this is normal. Is there a way to see myself that is better? I Was always questioning myself and pushing. Don´t assume what you are doing is the right thing, and that what you are doing is the best you can do. Always question it. Is what I am doing the best thing I could be doing? What alternatives are there? What reality am I assuming to be true? For example, there is the belief that game is painful and hard. Is it really? Or is what you are doing, and your perception that gives you that idea? Maybe if you shift your perception this can help you perceive it has fun. You can see rejection has a negative outcome of the interaction. Or you can see has you are playing a video game and you went up one experience point in your journey and your character is becoming stronger each interaction you go in. Instead of just thinking what “did I do wrong. I am so stupid”. You can think “what was fun in this interaction?” Shifting your perception can help you change your beliefs about yourself and what you are doing. Are you always questioning yourself: “WHY AM I DOING THIS?” A great and enlightening exercise is to Ask why I am doing this and go to the bottom of it- ask “WHY” several times in a row (at least 5 times) until you reach the deepest why. After asking these questions constantly after some time I realized that one of the main reasons I was gaming was that I was looking for validation from woman and the man in the community. I realized I was in for the wrong reasons and I was not really enjoying the process. Even when I got laid, I was not enjoying it, I was elsewhere, thinking I was getting another lay count. When I started to question those things, I stopped looking for validation. Once you realize this and let go of it, your Game starts improving. You become less worried about the outcomes of the interaction and what other people will think. Women start feeling it that you are more present, and less needy. What happens is that you feel less the need to try to control the outcome and you are carefree of it. The more you release of the need to try to control everything the better are your results. Seems counter intuitive but it is what I experienced. Because you are not good enough you think you always must keep talking. You’re afraid she is going to go away. If you get rid of that fear, do what you feel like doing. Paradoxically that is what is going to get you laid more. You must start being aware of your thoughts and how you feel, then you must start thinking that you are good enough. This comes with time while taking action and getting better, your confidence will improve, and your beliefs will shift. When you believe that you are good enough and lose the need to try and control the outcomes is when you have more control and you EXPLODE your results. Hope it was helpful Peace 😘

Probably right now you might be in a place you do not like, and you are using escapism actions to face that. For some it will be playing video games, watching porn, eating junk food…you better than anyone know what you are doing to escape certain feelings. The question is: What are you using as an escape to avoid feeling bad about yourself? To break that pattern is not easy there are no magic pills, it is a constant work in progress. First, start thinking more about your goals. Create clear reasons to do all of them. Pitch your perfect life, pitch the perfect version of yourself, the one where you are good enough, ready for everything. Then start asking yourself what's the difference between the person you are right now and the person you want to be. What are you lacking? What goals should you accomplish in order to be that person and start writing them down. Have measurable goals so you can check on your progress. Then ask yourself from the person I am today how can I get to that person I imagine? What skills do I need to get? At the same time start by getting to know yourself better. Bring your pains into your awareness. Why do I feel this in this moment? Go deeper. What is triggering me to feel in a certain state? Why do I feel this way? Ask yourself several times this question why, why and why? Identify the moments you react disproportionality to the situation like feeling anxious to approach and other stress states. Check what triggers you. Identify the sensation and the thought that is coming up and then ask what the other situations were where you had this kind of sensations. What was the previous time that you felt that? And before that time when did you feel that? Until you find when was the first time you felt the exact fear that you are feeling right now. Try to meditate everyday: Think about what are you escaping. Think about the sensation that you feel, when you feel bad. When was the previous time that you were feeling this too? Breath into the sensations that are provoking your escapism. Accept them and let them go. You need to do this every day and have no expectations of when this will work and make the feeling go away. There are only benefits from doing it. Then use the following breathing exercise when you are feeling this: 6 seconds breathe in, 3 seconds hold, 6 seconds exhale doing “shhh” sound and letting go of the feeling, 3 seconds hold and again. Hope this is helpful for you to apply during this quarantine times Peace out 😘