Few Pick up lines

Cause you’re always trying to get in my pants.

But I can predict you’ll be growing a few inches tonight.

- because I’m going to fuck the hell outta you

We should make it so the letter D is silent when it comes after the letter M. That way you could put a D in me and nobody would ever know.

Can you pretend to be my girlfriend for just like... a few months? Years maybe?

If you held up eight Roses to a mirror you'd see nine of the most beautiful things in the world

Need some witty lines for a chick named diamond, I've made some up for the past few days an they make her smile but I've alas I've come to a dead end thankssss

Cause due to your fast growth your used to torture people by growing through they're stomach slowly killing them over the course of a few days.

But you can expect 7-8 inches in your forecast tonight, you won't be able to leave the house for a few days

I really knead your right now. This could be loaf at first sight. Crust me when i say you’re stunning. Maybe we could roll into bread later. ~More Themes Coming Soon~

FYI: This is the condensed version. I had to work for it. It wasn’t as simple as just a few sentences. “Hey there! I’m Dave.” ((makes small talk...tries to get date)) Her: “Yeah, thanks but no thanks.” Me: “Why not? Is it my size? I mean, yeah, I’m fat, but so?” Her: “You said it, not me.” Me: “Ah, come on. There are a ton of guys out there named Dave I bet you’d go out with, but have you ever been out with a ton of guy named Dave?” Her: ((laughs...panties drop))

Cause I know a few hot spots

So, there was a thought about a few days ago which i figured could possibly work as a pick-up line if changed a bit, as for that thought/possible pick-up line if changed a bit, here it is: "Regular" version: "Isn't mascara, ear-rings lipstick and the like kind of dumb/stupid/unnecessary? "Pick-up line" version: "Don't you think that mascara, ear-rings, lipstick and the like is kind of dumb/stupid/unnecessary? "As for why i think so it's because it just messes with your skin and i don't think there's any reason as to why you should mess with perfection so i can't understand why you have **insert whichever one/ones of mascara, ear-rings, lipstick and the like that the person has on here** on.

But as long as I’ve got a face, you’ve got somewhere to sit!! You can switch this up many different ways I’ve done it quite a few times. Like are you tired? Well.... or just flat out hey girl as long as I got a face.... it’s honestly only legit worked once if just hooking up is the goal. Another time it worked was with a girl I dated for a bit and am actually good friends with now haha

You’re reely beautiful. Will you take the bait and go on a date? Nice bass baby. Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should i float by again. You don’t even have a fishing pole, yet I’m hooked on you. I got my walleye on you.

Does anyone know of, or can think of, pick up lines for a few names? * Haylie * Marisa * Chloe * Railey * Lindsey stuck on these. Any help would be appreciated

Cause I've got a government mandate for you to shelter-in-my-place for a few weeks.

Coz you taunt with few good seconds and then start asking for credit card info!

you can expect more than a few inches tonight

Whatchca' think about it ;D ?

*wait a few seconds* And I probably should be. Sorry I forgot to finish the pickup line just like I forgot to finish my homework, but if we hang out tonight I won’t forget to finish you.

If you can, then take them and go in front of your woman and drop them. Start picking them up and drop a few while picking them up. Be a little clumsy. "Hey I need your help here, cause you see I'm pretty bad at pick up limes".

We were in the hall and he said “you’re as straight as a twig” a few seconds pass and I tell this one really attractive girl “is that a twig in my pants or am I just happy to see you?” 😂 figured it fit here

could use this pick-up line for a woman who hasn't responded in a few days

Cuz everyone wants to enter you but only a few can.

So I was at the gym that I work at today talking with a couple guys I know. This smokin’ hot little blonde thing goes and uses a bench by us and we all notice her, obviously. One of the guys says to me “You better get over there and offer her some free personal training!” And I immediately replied with “Well I’m not a *certified* personal trainer. But hell, I’ve played Doctor a few times and I definitely ain’t got a PhD.”

Hello! I need your help, as I’m running out of pickuplines after few weeks. In case someone is in same situation - my last one was - I came with t shirt with bug print on it and I said this t shirt is the bug we need to remove, any other ideas?

Coz I wanna take a few shots at your goal

But you can expect a few inches tonight! (please forgive if re-post)

Because i think you're going to fuck me for a few years.

Who has a good pickup line for when you’ve matched, you’ve exchanged some witty banter for a few days, then all the sudden she stops replying? There has to be some good lines to re-energize the convo without looking pathetic and desperate haha. I’ve used this with semi-decent results: “if you’re waiting for a shirtless gym selfie, I should have some fresh ones by Saturday.” That can get a chuckle sometimes and get you back in the game. Others?

And you fit the description of the culprit that [made a few boys cry earlier]. You’ve got the same [beautiful eyes, cute face, sexy outfit, killer body, and smile], that I’ve been looking for all night! I’m going to have to bring you in for a one on one.

See this one on reddit a few weeks back but can't remember where for the life of me... Just saying it's not my original work (though I wish it was!)

Hi, (looking at the girl and then looking over at her friends) you have the rest of your lives to get to know her, but for me, i just got these few minutes, so can i have her?

Fun fact, great astral objects such as galaxies and planets actually do exhibit a small amount of gravitational force on people, but because they're so far away and our own Earth's gravity is so strong, we don't really notice it. In fact, it's less than the gravity of another human standing a few feet away form you! *Which means,* that when I pull you in for a kiss, it's because I love you with more force than all the moons and stars in the midnight sky.

In a couple of weeks, I'm taking my love interest to do one of my favourite things: Ziplining. I'm a pretty unique and quirky person, so I thought "What better time to ask him out than while zooming through the skies?" So after brainstorming for a few days, I've come up with nothing. Help me, reddit!

need a few witty possibly disturbing pickup lines for a girl named hui, can i get some help?

This happened to me a few weeks ago and I'm pretty proud of this line I made up. I was walking around in a department store with this girl, and a worker came up to us and asked "Do you guys need any help?" I responded with the usual "No thanks" and then quickly added "I already found everything I'm looking for" My friend gasped a little, and as I walked away, I heard the worker say "Damn that was good."

Because I've got a few jobs for you. From my friend Coby

I'd put U and I a few letters apart. Because I still want you to have your space.

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.

The characters: Downstairs neighbor - single man in his mid 30s Upstairs neighbor - 25 year old female living with her SO The scene: Upstairs neighbor's SO was out of town for 2 weeks, and Upstairs neighbor had gotten her car stuck in the icy driveway. Texted Downstairs neighbor to ask where rocksalt may be in the garage (one of only 4 texts that had occurred between these two parties during the full year of them being neighbors). Downstairs neighbor responds with the location of the rocksalt. The next morning - 6am Downstairs neighbor begins texting conversation with Upstairs neighbor. Somehow resulted in these lines "Wanna come down stairs? I have Netflix" After a cordial refusal and a few more sporadic texts, he goes for the clincher "I have often thought about being intimate with you"