Awful Pick up lines

It's about half the stuff on this sub, and honestly either the person has heard it before, or it will be unnoriginal and boring.

'Do you believe in love at first sight?, how bout in a van in the dark' 'looks like you're bored, well I'm game' 'I can take you to a place where clothes are 100% off' 'It must be dark in here because I wanna bump uglies' 'Girl you must be illegal, coz my parole officer says I need to stop following you' 'If beauty was a drug, I would be sniffing you all night long' 'If you were a pageant queen, you would be Miss'd the last bus' 'Girl you must be tired, coz running in duct tape is hard' 'Do you believe in love at first sight? how bout in a van in the dark' 'Your face is like a toilet, it makes me flush'

Cause you suck. And you *ruined* me. You wiped out my life's savings over petty credit purchases. You broke me down mentally to a point where I was done with life and isolating myself. You're such a cruel, heartless bitch that you convinced my boss to "lay me off". And then, here's the worst part you self centred bastard, you "tried to fix things". Bullshit. Nothing that broken could have been fixed by your ineffective means... You can't just give me a small gift and expect everything to heal. I can't pay for a more than 60% increase in my spendings because of you! And now my depression that your awfulness directly caused is affecting my friends too. Act like the way you speak and fix your character, you do nothing wreck. Oh and give me my gold bullion back, you lying whore. I don't have any other money for food and you aren't helping me out here.

Hey everyone I’m in college and after 3 hard years of battling cancer I’m going back to school but i want to also use my awful disease (lymphoma) as a blessing for me when having fun. So can you guys help me figure out some boss ass pickup lines to get the girls haha

1. If you had to choose one Valentine’s Day gift to receive, what would it be? 2. Let’s settle this debate: candy hearts, terrible or the absolute worst? 3. Russell Stover and come over? 4. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 ^ some flowers for you on this fine Valentine’s Day 5. Ideal Valentine’s Day dinner menu? 6. Right from the start you stole my heart. Lol, I took that from a Hallmark card…What’s up? 7. What’s your best Valentine’s Day pickup line? (Yes, this is mine.) 8. If I were to give you a Valentine, it’d be a picture of Simon Cowell that says, “It’s a yes from me” 9. *read in life alert lady voice* Help! I’ve fallen for you, and I can’t get up. 10. If you were a candy heart, what would you say? 11. I spent all night making you a Valentine. When are you free so I can give it to you? 12. Fuck, marry, kill: candy hearts, chocolate-covered strawberries, very expensive and subpar Valentine’s Day dinners 13. Hey, kinda awkward but I think my Valentine got lost in the mail? 14. You can only choose one cheesy and awful Valentine’s Day pickup line. Choose wisely: A. This Valentine’s Day, let’s make like fabric softener and Snuggle. B. Cupid called. He says that he needs my heart back. C. You’re so sweet, you could put Hershey’s out of business. D. None, but you’re funny and original. Let’s get a drink.

Not really a line but I felt like this belonged here. So I have a scar on my left hand, its a little dent that I got when I fell on a belt buckle and got the thing that goes through the loops stuck in it. The other night I was walking around with this girl I like and I was telling her the story and put out my hand to show her and so she could feel it. She feels around and says something about how it must've hurt and I respond with something along the lines of. "Yeah it was awful," and then I wrapped my hand around hers and started walking. I still can't believe it actually worked.

Cause I Ken Bone you ^^^^^^^^^^JesusThatsAwfulSorryInAdvance