Later Pick up lines

i mean eat out with you later

Hey girl trouble comes in 3s but I only cum in tens. What’re you doing later?

Her: But there’s 26 letters in the alphabet. Me: Oh, how could I forget U R A Q T. Her: Wait, that’s only 25 letters!? Me: Excuse me, but you can get that D later.

I'll give you the extra 6 later

Her: ay Valentine? Me: you can have the D later

And you can go down on me later

You're gonna need it when you stay over later ;)

(look so damn fine) (soo fucking cute) (bad asf)

I‘ll give you the D later.

A for Amazing B for Beautiful C for Caring . . . What about the D? Oh, I’ll give you the D later 😏

Her:no there are 26 Me:oh I forgot u r a q t Her:these are 5 Me:oh ill give you the d later

Because I'm gonna destroy that pussy later

It's got a real cozy back and a real powerful front.

I’ll give you the “D” later

Girl: “you mean a drink?” Me: “I figured I’d give you the D later”

I'm trying to drop something soft, white, and wet on your head later

She says:"you mean world" You say: I can give you the D later

So I was chilling one night right, really hungry. Didn't feel like leaving the house so I called my friend and was like "hey can you grab me some 5 guys?" He was like "word" and went over to buy some. About 2 hours later he finally gets back, and I'm like about to about to fucking starve to death. As I'm shoveling this burger into my mouth I was kind of curious so I asked him "hey so what happened? Was traffic really that bad or what?" And he was like "nah.. It was just a really long pickup line"

I don't know how many of your are getting this in the first read but what I did there was I said I love the you and later said the "the" in the sentence is silent. Essential I'm asking the person to read the sentence without "the". :)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I could sing my ABC's to you A because you're Attractive B because you're beautiful C because you're confident E because you're exciting G because you're great H because you're hot I because you're intelligent J because you're just perfect K because you're kind L because you're lovely M because I miss u when gone N because you're nice O because you're outstanding P because you're particular Q because you're a Queen R because you're ravishing S because you're stellar T because you're terrific U because you're unique V because you're vivacious W because you're wonderful X because you're xenodochial Y because you're yummy Z because you're zestful Punchline when they see there is no D or F is I can give you the D later because you're so F**kable.

I feel like Burger King, you can have McDonald’s. I’m gonna have it my way and you’ll be *bah du bah ba bah* Lovin’ It.

Don't worry about the D. You'll get that later.

i’ll give you the head later

Because I want to take you to Starbucks and get you a venti later

Cause I wanna keep you in my chest and eat you later.🤚🏻🍑

We'll smash later, first be my wife - Day 88

Her: "No?" Me: "What, you don't like pizza?"

I matched with a girl (not)named Arya. Me: You don't seem to have a name. But it's alright, you can scream mine tonight. Arya: I will poke you with the pointy end, if you throw a Game of Thrones pun at me again. Should I marry her? I am skeptical, I like my posts read, not my wedding. Update: Me: Well, that was my plan for you later. Arya: We are probably going to die soon. I want to know what it's like before that happens.

I’ll give you an A because your awesome a B because your beautiful a C because your confident and later I’ll give you this D because you deserve it

Thanks. Maybe later I can come over and nibble on your sausage

Because you put the PH and phat, and you’ll get the D later

I’ll put this meat between your cheeks... condiments come later.

Me: There's twenty letters in the alphabet Crush: No there's 26 Me: I forgot u r a q t Crush: That's 25 Me: I'll give you the D later

but I'll need u in my sperm later that night

I’ll show you the d later

A because you're awesome, B because you're beautiful, C because you're confident, and D, not now but later.

Hopefully I’ll be slyther-in your chamber of secrets later.

" I'll give you the D later."

Because you could spread yourself on my face later tonight.

Oh, I forgot u r a q t. I'll give you the d later.

Wecan work on that “family” part later on

But I think I’ll call you later

Amazing Beautiful Cute I’ll give you the D later

You’re small, cute, and I’m gonna bang you on the kitchen table later.

You remind me of my pinky toe... Sooner or later I'm gonna bang you on a table.

I feel like I might be having a stroke later.

Cause I'll give you the d later.

"All I'm missing is 'U'!" If they don't correct you and say that that only makes 25 letters, they aren't worth your time, give up. If they do notice... "Don't worry, you'll get the 'D' later"

Girl: aren't there 26 letters Boy:How could i forget the, u r a q t Girl: that's still 25 Boy: silly me, you can get the D later

You're small, cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later.

I was talking with a girl and she said how she was disappointed in me because I didn't study for a test, and I said "speaking of ways I can disappoint you, do you want to date?" and I don't know HOW that didn't work. Also, around a month later she and I were packing up and leaving class and I said "I think you dropped something" and she said "what?" and I said "your standards. Are they low enough yet that you want to date?"

Small, cute, and I’m gonna bang u up against my coffee table later

I really knead your right now. This could be loaf at first sight. Crust me when i say you’re stunning. Maybe we could roll into bread later. ~More Themes Coming Soon~

This girl is living in London. I'm not, not even around England. She'll be visiting my country next month, which is, very near. We met online, never met each other in real life but we've been exchanging messages well over 4 months and now we got closer thanks to my effort. Today she just messaged me in a sense that I'm kind of special to HER. This is exact quote from her "I feel comfortable talking with you in general.", "I only speak this frequently and this regularly with my real college friends". She's feeling comfortable towards me but I don't want all my efforts go into a friendzone. So I'm like, what's next? What do I do now? One time, she asked me about a nice restaurant in my town. Should I slip that into my next conversation like "Hey, I've found this nice tea place that offers English tea cake on the way back home. Do you want to check out this place when you visit here? To see if it's authentic or not (or something) Thing is, her profile on online app still says "I'm not here for looking for dates". But this could be a lie, right? Especially she seems to like me (as a friend as of NOW, of course. Later this will turn into boom-boom pow partner) Are there any advices you guys can give me on this situation?

Hey girl if music was invented by hitting on things then I'm going to be creating a perfect harmony by hitting on you. Do you like Phil Collins? Because I can feel it cumming in the air tonight. If I could give you a rating my pretty young thing then you would be in the top 40. You say I have the moves like Jagger but later tonight you'll be Rolling Stones. You and me girl we are so iN'SYNC together. I only have One Direrection and its up a one way exit street because that's what makes you beautiful. I can take you to a Bruno Mars concert or I can take you to Mars and back. Do you like pop girl because I can be your rock. Katy Perry said she kissed a girl and liked it so can I test that theory on you? Beyoncé said if I liked it I can put a ring on it. Hi my name is Ken, come on Barbie lets go party!

Wanna compare tan lines later tonight? 😉 disclaimer: Accidentally posted this on my Snapchat wall instead of sending it to my wife to flirt with her - results were interesting. See my tifu post.

"no there is 26" "oh I forgot U R A Q T" "That's still only 25?!?" "dont worry you'll get the D later"

But you can call me later

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.