Couldn't Pick up lines

The best Couldn't pick up lines

You are so fine that I couldn't carry you in a sieve.

Said this to my girlfriend on Saturday night, she said "Well you could in our sieve, because it's crap." In fairness, we do need a new sieve.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/slightly-simian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22
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God couldn't have made someone more beautiful than you...

Because no such thing exists
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/McGroon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08
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I had the idea for this while snapping my her, but I couldn't.... here you go

Her: It looks good on you Me: Most things do. Including you.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CossakWarrior
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15
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Hey boy, do you work both as an actor and a priest?

Cuz i want your Hollywood (Im not into guys but it just came to my mind and i couldn't stop myself from posting it)
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Leo_V82
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10
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Hey girl are you a Dino?

Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/petergriffinfricken
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09
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Roses are red, violets are blue

DaVinci painted Mona, cause he couldn't find you.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kvothe5699
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28
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Want to know how I went from Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time?

Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was … \[21:35, 13/04/2020\] Barrocas: Want to know how I went from Loser Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time? Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was just like a gay friend. Eventually I met a girl through a coworker. This was the first girl that actually got an interest in me. I even got her number. I would wait desperately when it was her turn to text me back or freak out when she didnΒ΄t reply immediately. When she replied I had seen on internet that i should not reply right away but I was really tempted and desperate. I eventually fucked that up. I got needy and she stopped replying. Since that moment I really got pissed! I got really frustrated so I decided I had to change something otherwise I would stay in this road FOREVER! I decided to start going out by myself. First started watching some videos and i thought what I was seeing there was way out of my reality. (I was watching just random videos of pranks and then I find out that they were all these videos about "game".) Couldn't believe what i was seeing in these videos. No way that was real! Lol I went out and I first tried to talk to girls but was too hard and way to out of my comfort zone. This is where a lot of guys go WRONG and just give up. Instead I decided to accept that I sucked, and went very small. Started by asking random simple things to people like going to old people and ask for directions or the time. I just wanted to be building up over time 1% every day. During my beginnings I had a lot of friends telling me to go to hookers and I told them to F\*\* off, β€œI am going to show you I can do it on my own”. Eventually, because I was going out by myself and pushing my limits, over time I started talking to girls. (that got me in some really funny stories like being arrested by the police but that is for another time 🀣) Finally after 5 months of going out i lost my virginity with a girl i approached in my town!! After 6 months found the Game community in Lisbon and met some guys I could go out with. After some time i started to get some more sporadic results and other close calls. Built my way up in the community and started organizing seminar in hotels and doing public speaking, giving value to the community. 2 years in finally found a real life mentor Dhurba Shrestha. He is what we call a "Natural" We went out for all full summer. We had a lot threesomes and gangbangs and even failed a couple of foursomes. We had a lot of fun! I learned a lot by going out with him and observing him. Became way more relaxed and natural than I was before. Now i look back and think how gamey I was. I talk way less and the impact of my words is way more powerful. Today when I say β€œHi” it has the same impact has a huge opener. He really helped me go to the next level way quicker. I never thought I could have gang bangs…and girls actually love it!! The main thing that I learned from it was to not to be so possessive over a girl. To be able to share with another guy you must let go of that feeling of possession ( emotional attachment). So to finish off, You might think that right now you suck at talking to girls and it is difficult and hard But don't give up!! If you can't find help and you are by yourself and approaching girls is too hard for you.. Start with baby stepping!! Start talking to old people like I did and then build from there.. Slowly with time and pushing yourself a bit everyday you will start talking to girls Despite what i said previously, ideally you should not try this by yourself of course. Look for other wings to go out with, to motivate you or find someone better than you that is willing to mentor you or exchange some value so you can be around them and learn from them. Hope it was helpful Peace out 😘
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/barrocasdiogo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14
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Hey girl, you wanna go out in public with me some time?

Because I'd love showing off to the entire world that you're with me. We can go anywhere you want to go. I'll buy dinner and pay for our movie tickets too. Genuinely no expectation for sex because just knowing you want to spend time with me would get me off. We can get ice creams and lick each other's flavors. Like in super slow motion. If you choke on something I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you alive because when we do have sexual intercourse it will only be with your not dead body. Every time I see you my heart does multiple somersaults inside and I wish you could somehow feel that feeling it gives me so you'd have some idea of how fully head over heels I am for you and that luscious body you're packing into that outfit of yours. When we do make sweet love to each other's bodies you will always finish first. In fact if you don't bust a lady nut I won't be busting a jizz nut either. If you send me nudes not only will I never share them with anybody else ever I will also make sure and keep them inside encrypted folders on external drives that I keep in my 6 foot fire proof safe. Any time I use them to pleasure my weiner dong I'll make sure to put the nudes back into the safe immediately. Before I even clean up the mess you made me make because I was thinking about you and you got me so horny I couldn't even properly prepare ahead of time and get the paper towels ready so I just launched the baby batter right into my belly button. And when our date is over I'm going to be waiting by my phone anxiously awaiting your next texts to find out when I can set eyes on you again. What really confuses me is how I survived all my life without you because now that I know you girl, I can't live another moment without you in my life. Ok so, pick you up around 5?
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/muckrak3r
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20
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Hey girl, are you Vladimir Putin?

Since the moment i saw you, i knew i couldn't choose another.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IrmaWasGood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10
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Hey girl are you a butter?

Cause i couldn't stop myself, from sliding into your DM
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sunridersurya
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27
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Ok guys time to shine!!

There's this girl who keep saying that she knows every pick up line in the book, I couldn't believe her at first but then I started trying and she got me every time! So now I need you to help me find the best pick up line that there's no way she would know!
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The-Beaver-King
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26
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What do I say after hello?

I was told that the best pick up line in a simple "hello", but if it were that simple this sub would not exist. My guess is that "hello" is the most advanced pick up line ever, and that it's so hard r/pickuplines was turned into a place where people ask for the easy stuff that doesn't work because they couldn't master the "hello". Teach me how to master the "hello". I don't want to be a normie anymore! What do I say after hello? Tldr - What do I say after hello?
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-ButterStick-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01
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Girl you are so beautiful

that Honest Abe wouldn't be Honest anymore because he couldn't honestly describe your beauty.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ferris4lyfe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24
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Aye girl my mom taught me never to hit a woman...

But she didn't say I couldn't tongue punch your fart box.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spicyameatball
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29
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