Mom Pick up lines

The best Mom pick up lines

My mom told me that life was a deck of cards,

So I guess you must be the queen of hearts.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anonymous0876
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29
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I bet you’re mom is a hen

because you’re eggsactly what I need
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thedopeindian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27
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Are you a mom character designed by Pixar?

Cause DAMN you gotta thicc ass
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MannerMemer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01
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I heard the mom is only half as pretty as the daughter.

Im guessing your mom is a supermodel.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dremiXXX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19
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I'm having a debate now with my mom and only u can help me win it

I said angels exist. My mom said no they don't. Just send me your pic, I'll show it to her and easily win the fight
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anotherbigjoke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01
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Damn girl are you my mom?

Cause you just made a huge mistake.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AndrewAwsome122
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05
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Was your mom’s name Practice?

... cause I heard that Practice makes a man who’s Perfect 😚
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/T_eefus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14
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Roses are red, your mom's a distraction

Let's get to your room and get us some action
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/recklesslime03
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 13
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Are you a university degree?

Cuz I wanna use you to impress my mom
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nowayjose12395
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29
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My mom always used to tell me that if I made a face for to long it would get stuck that way.

I guess she got it a bit wrong, because it's only when I'm with you I can't stop smiling.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/imanweirdo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23
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Is your mom in the air force?

Cause she dropped the hottest bomb
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/androidy77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13
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You look like my mom...

That’s okay though, I have an Oedipus complex ;)
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/creative-music-dude
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17
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Hey is your mom an artist?

Because you're a masterpiece.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Alyoshi1
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18
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Damn girl are you a Pixar mom?

Cause you got an absolute dump truck
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deeznutsoffical
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06
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Did your mom every tell you that you’re unbelievably beautiful

When I meet her I wanna be able to tell her how much I agree with her
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tapperlevi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16
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My mom and dad told me to follow my dreams

So that’s why I’m following you! >u< ☺️☺️☺️
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the-random-trash-lol
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21
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I’m gonna put on my glasses

before I talk to you because my mom always told me to focus on my future.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SaviiOh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10
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is your mom a vending machine?

cus' ur looking like a snack
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spoodbanana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31
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Hey girl, can I get your mom’s number?

β€˜Cause I want a daughter with tits just like yours
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bones_Of_Ayyo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17
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Hey, did you know Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on?

By the way our daughters name is gonna be Stacy.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shredhead15
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21
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Are you a baby that was just born?...

Because I wanna slap your naked ass while you're covered in my mom's vagina juice
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThrowawayAccount1720
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14
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Are you my moms ultrasound?

Cause I can see me inside you
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scooberttheking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04
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Hey girl, are you my mom?

Cause I'm about to have a Freudian slip. *barfs*
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dhcman5454
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26
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Hey girl, are you a MILF?

Cuz you look just like my mom
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PeskyOlivePlays-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11
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Is your mom "little Debbie"?

Cause you look like my next nutty buddy
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lifesduff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28
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My mom and dad told me to follow my dreams..

That's why i'm following you
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AngelPon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24
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Hey girl, are you my mom?

Because I really wanna fuck you in the ass.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sniffing_dog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18
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My mom always told me to follow my dreams

So I’m going to follow you for the rest of the night
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bobbyjones52
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22
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So what are you doing after the funeral?

This actually happened to my mom at a funeral.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/limbojade
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30
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Roses are red violets are blue..

Pornhub is down your mom's Facebook will do
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dad_on_the_net
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19
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Are you Mom's spaghetti?

Are you Mom's spaghetti? Because you make my knees weak and my palms sweaty.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quunii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28
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Aye girl my mom taught me never to hit a woman...

But she didn't say I couldn't tongue punch your fart box.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spicyameatball
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29
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All my mom's friends say I'm good looking

Imagine how many matches you would get if you put this as your tinder bio.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jirish4
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25
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Hey girl, can I follow you?

Because my mom told me to follow my dreams
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/action_bastard13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13
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Have you heard of Sigmund Freud's Oedipus Complex?

*Because you look like my mom.*
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Katharsic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11
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Can i follow you on Instagram?

Cause my mom told me to follow my dreams
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Taricool777
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23
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Can I borrow your phone?

Because my mom told me to let her know when I meet the girl of my dreams
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/National-Tragedy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24
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Can I follow you? Because my...

mom told me to follow my dreams.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shub_007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20
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Are your palms sweaty?

Knees weak. Arms are heavy. There’s vomit on his sweater already. Mom’s spaghetti.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/my_name_is_egg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13
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Hey girl we should make a family together

Just like our mom and dad did
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ProfessorMark1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02
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Is your family Jewish?

Because your mom is Israeli hot
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aquaholicsanonymous1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23
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Hey baby are you hard liquor!

Because I wouldn't present you in front of my mom
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pool7597
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03
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Can i follow you on instagram?

Cause my mom told me to follow my dreams
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dumbostrich
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20
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Yesterday I grabbed coffee with an older women ..

She sat and I asked what she wanted before going to the counter to order, she said double double (Canadian for two cream two sugar) so I went and ordered then brought back our drinks. I gave her the coffee and said "I didn't add any sugar because you're already sweet enough". She looked at me and said "shut the fuck up". My mom didn't find it funny, but the girl at the table next to me did. We now have a lunch date this afternoon. TL;DR Used pick up line on my mom, now have a date with a cute girl
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smalldickfuckboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11
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Hey girl, Can I follow you?

My mom told me to follow my dream.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yokit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14
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That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say β€œhey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Osborne26
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29
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