Said Pick up lines

The best Said pick up lines

Mama said stay away from sugar..

But you're one candy I can't pass by
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Jetty_Boy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 11
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When u first walked in here i said mashallah

And ever since i am saying inshallah
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/crackit_boi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 09
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You said you are a mystery ryt?

Imma sherlock, ready to be solved? ;)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/loldedend
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 04
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If I said you were an angel,

Would you treat me like the devil tonight?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/suyashve
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 26
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Two truths and a lie:

1. Youโ€™re cute. 2. We should totally date. 3. Iโ€™m making this all up. I used this with success. Date coming up soon! EDIT: The date went well. We deleted our apps and got each otherโ€™s numbers! EDIT 2: She said she isnโ€™t feeling the chemistry but I am really sweet and she wants to be friends.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Lol_u_ded
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 12
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What did the 6 said to the 10?

Hey,. I'm (your name)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sarcasteruwu
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 08
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Once a Chinese legend said:

ๅฆ‚ๆžœๆ‚จ็‚นๅ‡ป็ฟป่ฏ‘๏ผŒๆ‚จๅฟ…้กปๅ’Œๆˆ‘็บฆไผš Translation : If you Click Translate, You must date me
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/zlogonjepissa
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 24
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Even if the question said to disregard the effects of gravity

I'd still be falling for you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/c_h_a_mp
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 06
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This is an original. I came up with on the spot

This was many years ago maybe 1981 or 82. I was dancing with girl at a club. She seemed nice and she did agree to dance with me. So I wanted to say something cleaver and out of nowhere, I am Like โ€œWould you ever consider having sex with a Complete Strangerโ€ she gets this puzzled look and says No! Well than allow me to introduce myself, My name is Michael and I offer her my hand. She laughed and shock my hand and gave me her name. I said now we are not strangers. She laughed again. It didnโ€™t get me laid that night, but that night lead to another date and eventually into her pants.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CaptainFlyingsolo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 13
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William would've probably said

Hey girl, what are these 'Wordsworth' if I'm unable to describe your beauty
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cringeproject21
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 19
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Once a Chinese legend said: ๅฆ‚ๆžœๆ‚จ็‚นๅ‡ป็ฟป่ฏ‘๏ผŒๆ‚จๅฟ…้กปๅ’Œๆˆ‘็บฆไผš

Translation : If you click Translate, you must date me
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/zlogonjepissa
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 24
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How to get laid in 5 esay steps

1 find a girl. 2 get her a drink 3 think of the best pick up line, better than anyone has ever thought of. 4 for repeat what you said in your head. "Are you my pinky toe, cuz your cute, little, and I know I'm gonna smash you against the coffee table later๐Ÿฅด" 5 get laid
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ram-dam-jam-slam
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 10
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I went to your girlfriend's Instagram page

It said "edit profile"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Chance_Dragonfruit_6
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 18
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My doctor said because of my diabetes, I can't have too much sweet

But you remind me today's my cheat day
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/eyebrowsus
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 26
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She asked if I wanna have a threemsome...

So the obvious answer is yes, I do. But here's the back story: Back in August, I slid into this girl's DMs. We exchanged a couple playful messages and that was that. I hit her back up again in September just to keep things warm. Then in October I asked, "are you almost ready?" She said, "for what?" I said, "our coffee date." She replied, "I might be ready by December lmao." She could've said that because maybe she had shit going on at the time or if she wasn't interested maybe think I'd forget about her by then. Well, I almost did lol and then I remembered today so I hit her up and said, "Since I'm nice I gave you a little extra time. You ready now?" However, she replied with "wanna have a threemsome with my future gf?" Keep in mind, we hadn't talked since October and it was about a coffee date, we don't follow each other and this was her reply. Now 9 times outta 10 if a girl asked this I'd suspect it to be some simp test or her being bored and just fucking with me with no intention of actually...fucking with me. But right when she sent this message she also looked at my profile and liked a recent (shirtless) photo of me which I don't think a girl with zero interest would do. But at the same time even girls with interest don't straight up ask if you wanna have sex, let alone a threemsome with a "future" gf? Futures gf? Which that's a whole other mindfuck. So I guess the question is, how do I respond with being open to it if it's the 1 out of 10 times she's serious about it, but also not come across as a needy simp to the effect of "omg I would love to!"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/aquariex24
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 14
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I have a friend with the last name Heims.. this is what I said to him today:

Is your last name short for Heimlich? Because you take my breath away!
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MyNaM_e-is
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 17
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Response to "Your name must be Earl Grey, because.."

Today on Bumble, a guy used the pickup line- Your name must be Earl Grey, because you're a real Hot-Tea And I was asked if I had any pickup lines too. I said: Were you responsible for Boston tea party? He said: No, little before my time And I finished by saying: Because looking at you, the tea got wet.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/itratjameel
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 06
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I know it is said, that roses are red, so it just may be true, that violets are blue,

and I know we just met, but I am willing to bet, that forever is better with you.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jonroges
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 03
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The large hadron collider is said to be the hottest thing in the entire universe

But I think you make a pretty good statement for something else
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Professor_Voodoo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 26
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My doctor said to practice safe sex

Will you help?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/xDekux112
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 28
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I can eat yogurt without a spoon

She said โ€œwow impressiveโ€ and I donโ€™t know how to respond.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rasheme-allergi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 01
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I Asked Santa for a Special Someone for Christmas.

He said โ€œI canโ€™t give you what you already have, look at ur screen saver.โ€
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RimStk
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 20
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I'd believe you if you said you were a black widow

Because of your hourglass shape
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ic_y
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 10
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I'm having a debate now with my mom and only u can help me win it

I said angels exist. My mom said no they don't. Just send me your pic, I'll show it to her and easily win the fight
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/anotherbigjoke
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 01
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God said your body was a temple,

And I just wanna cum inside and pray.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CapitalHills
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 25
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Who said god aint real there's an angel roaming around us .

If that's not enough proof of god . Then no one knows what is. No more an atheist.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sai69meme
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 29
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Probably been posted/said before but who cares.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only ten i see.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BlckCndy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 05
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Jeffery dahmer said that tattoos make human flesh taste bad.

But I bet you still taste delicious.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thesouthernbeard
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 06
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Tinder girl said she's real.

Her pics are beautiful so naturally her bio says "yes, I'm real" I matched with her back in 5/2, but I been shy/busy. I want to make a joke along the lines of "sorry for taking so long, waiting for the government to verify you're real bc I thought angels don't exist" She's got a kid so I feel she'd be like mature ig? We both 23, any suggestions?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/420awesomesauce
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 15
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So baby hold me Closer

In the bathtub with a toaster. Or whatever the chainsmokers said
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/zlogonjepissa
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 20
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A wise man once said โ€œTo end suffering means to end all desiresโ€

But Iโ€™m not sure I could do that with you on this planet
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dee-Pac-Man
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 01
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You smell nice, why are you married?

Said this to a girl once, now she's married to me instead and we have 2 amazing girls.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Fettmaster2000
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 12
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Wanna know the difference between a golf ball and your cervix? I canโ€™t hit a golf ball for shit.

Or would it be better if I said Gspot. Iโ€™m wanna use this one. Probably on tinder first.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/magesticrhinoceros
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 26
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Roses are red, you're like a trigger...

I looked at you, and my heart said "pick her"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/suyashve
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 05
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Oh girl, youre my babi boo

Because all your bestie said we are the same "goรปt" ๐Ÿ˜
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mindigo41
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 13
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I saw this ad on my phone

It said โ€Hot singles in your areaโ€ and it lead me to you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Adolf-M-Stalin
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 01
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I love the view but the "the" is silent.

I don't know how many of your are getting this in the first read but what I did there was I said I love the you and later said the "the" in the sentence is silent. Essential I'm asking the person to read the sentence without "the". :)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/gurudeep47
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 26
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So I saw this really gorgeous girl sitting on the city bench with a bunch of bags and she got up to start walking, when I ran up to her and said

"Hey you dropped something!" to which she replied "What?" and I said "Your standards. Hi my name's Matt, wanna go out sometime?"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Nushikiss
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 12
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Iโ€™m a heavy dude/former slovenly lothario and this one worked almost every time.

FYI: This is the condensed version. I had to work for it. It wasnโ€™t as simple as just a few sentences. โ€œHey there! Iโ€™m Dave.โ€ ((makes small talk...tries to get date)) Her: โ€œYeah, thanks but no thanks.โ€ Me: โ€œWhy not? Is it my size? I mean, yeah, Iโ€™m fat, but so?โ€ Her: โ€œYou said it, not me.โ€ Me: โ€œAh, come on. There are a ton of guys out there named Dave I bet youโ€™d go out with, but have you ever been out with a ton of guy named Dave?โ€ Her: ((laughs...panties drop))
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/damronhimself
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 25
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If you said you were a button Iโ€™d trust you

Because your button believable
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/eyeCmoney
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 09
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Doctor said I have low levels

I said it vitamin U
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/gosh477
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 20
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You are so fine that I couldn't carry you in a sieve.

Said this to my girlfriend on Saturday night, she said "Well you could in our sieve, because it's crap." In fairness, we do need a new sieve.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/slightly-simian
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22
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Want to know how I went from Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time?

Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was โ€ฆ \[21:35, 13/04/2020\] Barrocas: Want to know how I went from Loser Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time? Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was just like a gay friend. Eventually I met a girl through a coworker. This was the first girl that actually got an interest in me. I even got her number. I would wait desperately when it was her turn to text me back or freak out when she didnยดt reply immediately. When she replied I had seen on internet that i should not reply right away but I was really tempted and desperate. I eventually fucked that up. I got needy and she stopped replying. Since that moment I really got pissed! I got really frustrated so I decided I had to change something otherwise I would stay in this road FOREVER! I decided to start going out by myself. First started watching some videos and i thought what I was seeing there was way out of my reality. (I was watching just random videos of pranks and then I find out that they were all these videos about "game".) Couldn't believe what i was seeing in these videos. No way that was real! Lol I went out and I first tried to talk to girls but was too hard and way to out of my comfort zone. This is where a lot of guys go WRONG and just give up. Instead I decided to accept that I sucked, and went very small. Started by asking random simple things to people like going to old people and ask for directions or the time. I just wanted to be building up over time 1% every day. During my beginnings I had a lot of friends telling me to go to hookers and I told them to F\*\* off, โ€œI am going to show you I can do it on my ownโ€. Eventually, because I was going out by myself and pushing my limits, over time I started talking to girls. (that got me in some really funny stories like being arrested by the police but that is for another time ๐Ÿคฃ) Finally after 5 months of going out i lost my virginity with a girl i approached in my town!! After 6 months found the Game community in Lisbon and met some guys I could go out with. After some time i started to get some more sporadic results and other close calls. Built my way up in the community and started organizing seminar in hotels and doing public speaking, giving value to the community. 2 years in finally found a real life mentor Dhurba Shrestha. He is what we call a "Natural" We went out for all full summer. We had a lot threesomes and gangbangs and even failed a couple of foursomes. We had a lot of fun! I learned a lot by going out with him and observing him. Became way more relaxed and natural than I was before. Now i look back and think how gamey I was. I talk way less and the impact of my words is way more powerful. Today when I say โ€œHiโ€ it has the same impact has a huge opener. He really helped me go to the next level way quicker. I never thought I could have gang bangsโ€ฆand girls actually love it!! The main thing that I learned from it was to not to be so possessive over a girl. To be able to share with another guy you must let go of that feeling of possession ( emotional attachment). So to finish off, You might think that right now you suck at talking to girls and it is difficult and hard But don't give up!! If you can't find help and you are by yourself and approaching girls is too hard for you.. Start with baby stepping!! Start talking to old people like I did and then build from there.. Slowly with time and pushing yourself a bit everyday you will start talking to girls Despite what i said previously, ideally you should not try this by yourself of course. Look for other wings to go out with, to motivate you or find someone better than you that is willing to mentor you or exchange some value so you can be around them and learn from them. Hope it was helpful Peace out ๐Ÿ˜˜
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/barrocasdiogo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 14
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Smoothest thing I have ever said by far....

Cute nerdy girl sits 2 seats down from me at the empty hotel bar. We chit chat for 15 mintues about work tv booze and whatnot. I want to have a cig, she doesnt smoke. I get up and say " you gonna be here for another 5 mintues?" She says "yeah ill watch your beer" as i take 2 steps away I say " I dont really care about the beer, I was just hoping youd still be here when I get back." She did one of those surprised quick audible inhales... I didnt look back. I get back from smoking and she moved to the chair next to me. I sit down and she puts her hand on my leg immediately. Conversation turned sexual quickly. She has my room key, shes coming up, she stopped at her room obviously to freshen up before it goes down. Tl;dr one line gets sex
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/gingerbuttholelickr
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 20
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he said "if you get what i mean" but i, in fact, do not get what he means

we'd been going back and forth with bad self decpreciating pick up lines on tinder for 2 or 3 days now, he said "i'd smash that mf 'turn off alarm' button if you catch my drift" but i do not catch his drift... is this a suicide joke (because like literally same)? is this a joke about turning off his alarm in the morning? i don't get it :-( does anyone know what he means, or at least have a good self deprecating pick up line i could use?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sad_dadclub
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 23
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"Does this belong to you...?"

(Setup: Before you try this you need to preplan and have a piece of jewellery or something with you. IE... bracelet, necklace, etc even if it's plastic junk) ... "Excuse me does this belong to you?" (hold out jewellery) HER: "Nooo???" "Are you sure?" HER: "Yeahhh" "Oh, well I found it at the other end of the bar and the guy there said it belonged to the prettiest girl in the bar, so I figured it was yours" ... works 100% of the time.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/iamusuallyright102
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 25
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Cant believe that I even said this, or furthermore that it ended in a BJ. Two Words

" Wanna Canoodle? "
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Z050
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 14
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โ€œDo you like to scratch?โ€

Interpret this as you like. My buddy said this and it might be genius.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/just1nc4s3
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 16
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Tomatoes are red, pickuplines I don't have a lot...

But Damn you're piping hot, my friends said I should try cause why not, so here I am shooting my shot - Day 26
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/suyashve
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 30
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If I said you had a nice ass...

would you hold it against me?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/smalldickfuckboy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 24
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Are you the type of person that has a lot of spare change?

Because my dad always said I needed some cents, and a dime like you could be the change I need.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Fucked_a_bird
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 23
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Hey girl, are you a computer scientist? Because your rating is an integer overflow

EDIT: I now realize I probably should have said "causes" and not "is". Oh well
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/nathodood
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 03
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My love for you is bigger than my forehead

Me: My love for you is bigger than my forehead Her: wow thatโ€™s a lot of love Thatโ€™s an actual thing a girl said to me after I used that pickup line on her
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VisailisVisailis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 27
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When she's into literature

You leap before you look," she said to me, but oft I find I never look at all. A flighty gamble lost when one can't see, but oft I find there's glory in the fall. To soar in lust does ne'er precede the act, but twinkles through the air on exhaled sighs, and finds anathema in drying fact, until in lonely skies it winks and dies. A sexted sonnet surely sought in jest, yet challenge wrought is fated writ in light. But on lust's grave the shrunken sext must rest, as hallowed verse is drying fact's birthright. "You leap before you look, and so you fall, and falling is the surest flight of all."
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dodo1090
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 04
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The path of picking up ladies and superficiality

"How many of these things have you sold?" said me uncle. He used to work in Coal-MINING. We gave him the benefit of the doubt when we called him our uncle, but we think he's really not one of us. Tables are turning, minds are churning, pornography is destroying our uncles, our this, our that. These days it's all about MUSCLE. Cash flowing from the WALLET. Superficial and maniacal, that's why we fantasize. PORNOGRAPHY has contributed to the EPITOMY OF BAD, called the internet. It's been extremely bad for all of the children and me uncle was the first to called it out in the late 90s. Guys, if you're on this path for real, comment "Yes, I'm gonna do this". \-Damien
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DamienJefron
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 06
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My friend made a joke

We were in the hall and he said โ€œyouโ€™re as straight as a twigโ€ a few seconds pass and I tell this one really attractive girl โ€œis that a twig in my pants or am I just happy to see you?โ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚ figured it fit here
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SND01X
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 16
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Any youtube channels that focus soley on "lines"?

Hi, I'm a fan of **Todd Valentine** and some RSD guys (**Max**, **Julien**, **Tyler**) and that Super Seducer guy. They give a good speech about general pick-up. But I've kind of heard enough theories from these guys. I want to learn some actual "lines" that could be so effective, seemingly not forced in nowadays pick-up scenes. That being said, lines should not be so cheesy, should be modernized ones that are able to bring chick's guard down. Any suggestions for youtube channels that specially deal with these practical "lines"? Please refrain from saying "Just go along with the situation." The thing is, English is my 2nd language. I have limits to come up with situational, flexible lines. So with that in mind Please help
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bsbnsc
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 24
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They say you have a hard time flirting with someone you like

With that said, I'm blanking on my pickup line.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/28PercentCharged
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 08
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What are some mild sexual things to say?

Me and this chick, our conversation has been boring so I figured I need to say something provocative but not in a too direct way. What makes this girl boring to talk to is that she would always say, "I'm too tired. I need sleep" So yesterday I playfully said "Aren't you asleep yet" And then I said **"Can I sleep next to you?"**. That got a great reaction from her because it created somewhat sexual vibe but not in a rude way. So my question here is, **are there any mild sexual invites that you think it would trigger sexual fantasy** like what I mentioned in bold above? Just thought knowing those as many as possible would be good
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bsbnsc
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 23
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Help requested Iโ€™m programmer, she is tester

Hello! I need your help, as Iโ€™m running out of pickuplines after few weeks. In case someone is in same situation - my last one was - I came with t shirt with bug print on it and I said this t shirt is the bug we need to remove, any other ideas?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sauliusonis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 04
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Girl i believe you're meant for me

Cuz when god threw you to me, he said KOBE!
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/triplexflame
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 12
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Would you come with me to my doctorโ€™s appointment tomorrow?

Because the last appointment he said Iโ€™m lacking Vitamin-U..
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/murkage_11
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 13
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I didnt know Angel's needed part time jobs

Said this to the new girl at work back when we were in highschool. She had a good laugh.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cptomgipwndu
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 24
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The best pickup line I've ever used

I was talking with a girl and she said how she was disappointed in me because I didn't study for a test, and I said "speaking of ways I can disappoint you, do you want to date?" and I don't know HOW that didn't work. Also, around a month later she and I were packing up and leaving class and I said "I think you dropped something" and she said "what?" and I said "your standards. Are they low enough yet that you want to date?"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Blenjamin
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 13
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Quick - I need a comeback for this horrible pick-up line!

A guy on tinder said to me: "Would you like a cheesy, dirty, or generic compliment pick up line?" I want something really good to say back to him - some kind of roast. Thanks in advance, your friendly neighborhood Tinderella.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SnowQueenOfTexas
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 02
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I just had a cashier ask me for my number

I felt like sharing this because I just had a cashier ask me for my number today. It was cringe. So I went to the grocery store today to buy some Gatorade. Went to the cash and I pulled out my phone to answer a text. This is how it went. She asked "Does your phone work?" I answered "Yes." She replied "You should call me to check if it still works" I said "I'll pay with credit...."
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Trucknessa
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 03
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Sweet music to my ears

Hey girl if music was invented by hitting on things then I'm going to be creating a perfect harmony by hitting on you. Do you like Phil Collins? Because I can feel it cumming in the air tonight. If I could give you a rating my pretty young thing then you would be in the top 40. You say I have the moves like Jagger but later tonight you'll be Rolling Stones. You and me girl we are so iN'SYNC together. I only have One Direrection and its up a one way exit street because that's what makes you beautiful. I can take you to a Bruno Mars concert or I can take you to Mars and back. Do you like pop girl because I can be your rock. Katy Perry said she kissed a girl and liked it so can I test that theory on you? Beyoncรฉ said if I liked it I can put a ring on it. Hi my name is Ken, come on Barbie lets go party!
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Jesse_Allen3
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 03
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Boy: do you know the "Kiki Challenge"?

if the girl said yes... Girl: yes! Boy: how about the lyrics after the "Kiki..."? Girl: do you love me? Boy: yes! i love you girl! (with matching hug) else... Girl: sorry, but i don't know that. Boy: get out of my face. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/policarpiomenopolo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 22
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Help! Pick up line for a girl named Melody

This really cute girl and i matched on tinder and her name is melody. She said she likes cheesy pick up lines and i canโ€™t think of one but i want to use her name in it. PG yโ€™all, nothing sexual
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/andypanhandle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 11
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Right so I have no clue how to talk to girls

Just to give you a clarification on how shit I am at talking to girls at prom once this girl I was friends with wore this long and wide red dress that fell behind her and I said to her โ€œyou look lovely, you look like a very beautiful jabbaโ€ she didnโ€™t know what that was and as if that wasnโ€™t a godsend enough that she didnโ€™t know and that a higher power wasnโ€™t telling me to just end on your beautiful I then proceeded to say โ€œumm you look like a very pretty slugโ€ right so now everythingโ€™s cleared up thatโ€™s not even the worst thing Iโ€™ve ever said to a girl the only reason I actually have any girls who are friends is because once at a party I was drunk and I said I was gay, Iโ€™m not but the next day at college all the girls were putting me cause all the roadmen were Fucking getting a right laugh out of it then they all got suspended then all the girls started talking to me so I just went along with it Right so now that rabbit hole is impossible to get out of so Iโ€™m bisexual according to everyone but me, I donโ€™t know how to Fucking be a human being for more than three minutes HELP
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/areallytinyhorse
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 01
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And damn, my continent would totally subduct under yours ๐Ÿ˜

Said to me by some chick on tinder haha
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/yawatt
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 16
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I love you with all my dick

I would have said my heart, but my dick is bigger.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dagger852
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 15
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Yesterday I grabbed coffee with an older women ..

She sat and I asked what she wanted before going to the counter to order, she said double double (Canadian for two cream two sugar) so I went and ordered then brought back our drinks. I gave her the coffee and said "I didn't add any sugar because you're already sweet enough". She looked at me and said "shut the fuck up". My mom didn't find it funny, but the girl at the table next to me did. We now have a lunch date this afternoon. TL;DR Used pick up line on my mom, now have a date with a cute girl
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/smalldickfuckboy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 11
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Ever wanted to hit on a cute girl at the register of a store, but don't have time because you'd hold up the line? Try this.

This isn't a pickup line per se, but I've always found this situation to be frustrating. She's super hot, but you can't chat her up during your transaction-- it doesn't take long enough, and you can't just stand there holding up the people behind you. So here's what I do (and it's worked a couple times). What you'll need: A pen, a post-it note, and a little bit of stealth What you do: Walk into the store, ID the girl you want to talk to. As soon as you walk in, make sure she can't see you put the pen on the counter-- a good way to do this is to do it as you bend down to tie your shoes (leave one shoe untied to make it more convincing). When you're checking out, put your items on the counter and put your post-it note to the side (maybe take it out of your pocket as if you're looking for your money/wallet/card and just want to discard it for a second). This is where the pen from the beginning comes in. Ask her "Hey, can I borrow that pen?" She'll assume it's the store's, and she'll say sure. While she's ringing you up, write your name and number on the post-it note. Take your items and your change, and then give her this: "Oh, here's your pen back... thanks. And here's my phone number. Call me." And then calmly walk out of the door with a smile on your face. MAKE SURE YOU SMILE. Add a wink if you're feeling particularly confident. It also helps if you can at least make small talk during the process-- try to make her laugh or smile. Like I said, this has worked for me at least twice, and one time it didn't work, the girl still said it was "cute." Just thought I'd share a solution to a problem I hate. Didn't really know where else to put it. This is gonna get downvoted straight to the eighth circle of Hell, isn't it? :-(
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RayAP19
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 25
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Clever way to get her phone number

Say you are going to perform a magic trick to victim. Ask said person to write down their phone number on a piece of paper, but say you don't need the paper. Ask them to add up all the digits of their phone number **excluding** the middle two. Say something about how phone numbers are not entirely random, and that the middle two digits mostly **(say this exactly "in 99.9999% of cases this works")** formed from the addition of all the other digits divided by two + a special number that only you know, ask them for the addition number, then guess a random number. When it turns out to be wrong, ask for the sheet to check they did the maths right. Then turn to them and say, **"huh, I guess you are just a one in a million kinda guy/girl"**
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Deathsmith8
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 21
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That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. Itโ€™s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you canโ€™t just say โ€œhey, Iโ€™m not a rapistโ€, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Osborne26
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29
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