Ton Pick up lines

The best Ton pick up lines

I’m a heavy dude/former slovenly lothario and this one worked almost every time.

FYI: This is the condensed version. I had to work for it. It wasn’t as simple as just a few sentences. “Hey there! I’m Dave.” ((makes small talk...tries to get date)) Her: “Yeah, thanks but no thanks.” Me: “Why not? Is it my size? I mean, yeah, I’m fat, but so?” Her: “You said it, not me.” Me: “Ah, come on. There are a ton of guys out there named Dave I bet you’d go out with, but have you ever been out with a ton of guy named Dave?” Her: ((laughs...panties drop))
📅︎ Aug 25
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Hey girl, are you a neutron star?

Because time slows down when I'm near you, you're hot, I'm attracted to you, and once I'm near you I have a hard time getting away. Also works as a breakup line: girl, you must be a neutron star because you're dense AF and weigh a ton, it's painful to be near you and I can't get away from you.
👤︎ u/Esnardoo
📅︎ May 19
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