Absolute Pick up lines

Because my heart converges absolutely to you.

Cuz I'm not seeing any negatives

Cause you’re an absolute 10

Because you’re absolutely breathtaking!!!

Because you’re an absolute rocket

Cause no matter how I see it you're always a 10

You’d be a T-Rex with a Q in front and no Rex after. (ps was inspired by another line I saw. Let me know if this is good about to slide in this absolute beauty’s DMs.)

Nothing, you're both absolutely breathtaking

Cause you got an absolute dump truck

Because you look absolute insane

1. If you had to choose one Valentine’s Day gift to receive, what would it be? 2. Let’s settle this debate: candy hearts, terrible or the absolute worst? 3. Russell Stover and come over? 4. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 ^ some flowers for you on this fine Valentine’s Day 5. Ideal Valentine’s Day dinner menu? 6. Right from the start you stole my heart. Lol, I took that from a Hallmark card…What’s up? 7. What’s your best Valentine’s Day pickup line? (Yes, this is mine.) 8. If I were to give you a Valentine, it’d be a picture of Simon Cowell that says, “It’s a yes from me” 9. *read in life alert lady voice* Help! I’ve fallen for you, and I can’t get up. 10. If you were a candy heart, what would you say? 11. I spent all night making you a Valentine. When are you free so I can give it to you? 12. Fuck, marry, kill: candy hearts, chocolate-covered strawberries, very expensive and subpar Valentine’s Day dinners 13. Hey, kinda awkward but I think my Valentine got lost in the mail? 14. You can only choose one cheesy and awful Valentine’s Day pickup line. Choose wisely: A. This Valentine’s Day, let’s make like fabric softener and Snuggle. B. Cupid called. He says that he needs my heart back. C. You’re so sweet, you could put Hershey’s out of business. D. None, but you’re funny and original. Let’s get a drink.

Because I need all of you for absolutely no reason.

Because I’ll absolutely ruin your back.

Cuz you got all the absolute values

Because you are absolute hot

Because you are absolutely glowing

Because I want to see you every week, cry to you, and spend lots on you for Absolutely nothing in return

Hello I’ve been stuck trying to think of a great pick up line to cheer up my girlfriend Nat She really likes when I use the absolute gold lines that I see here on her And I can always make her laugh with the help of the power of the pick up people here

The solution to the German Tank problem states that if you confirm for certain that at least n of something exists, then the total amount of that thing is probably 2n. Therefore, if I confirm for certain that at least 1 guy likes you, then there are probably at least 2 guys that do. Now, how do we know that the number of guys that like you are at least 1? Well, the same way that you know, when countin money and starting with a nickle, that you have at least 5 cents. You don't need to know the number, you just need to confirm that one guy likes you, and then you know that at least 1 guy likes you. I am unable to assess to emotions of other guys, but despite that, I know for absolute certain that one guy likes you, and therefore that there are probably two. How do I know that?

Because I sure do want to kill myself. However, the possibility of an afterlife instills me with abounding despair, for if there truly is a Heaven, then equally as true must be a Hell. Given the uncountable sins of my lifetime heretofore, it is with absolute certainty that my eternal soul would be condemned to the lake of fire, should it exist at all. O' how sweet the thought of endless oblivion! A serene nothingness that lasts thoughout all of time, and is over at once. Beyond the heat death of our universe, a multi-trillion year sempiternity to those who wake, I would glide in an instant. Knowing such a nonexistence awaited me at my death has been my only comfort for many years. However, laying eyes upon you has all but abolished that comfort. Your angelic presence casts doubt upon such a fate. For how could one as beautiful as you originate from a realm other than Paradise?