Absolute Pick up lines

The best Absolute pick up lines

Are you the ∑(1/n^2) from 1 to ∞?

Because my heart converges absolutely to you.
👤︎ u/Math1Cats
📅︎ Jan 07
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Hey girl are you an absolute value graph?

Cuz I'm not seeing any negatives
📅︎ Dec 06
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Hey girl are you a nonmetal with an atomic mass of 20.1797 with the symbol of Ne?

Cause you’re an absolute 10
📅︎ Nov 10
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Hey I think you’re making my asthma act up...

Because you’re absolutely breathtaking!!!
📅︎ Nov 08
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You seem like the type of person to work at SpaceX

Because you’re an absolute rocket
👤︎ u/Bdon-18
📅︎ Dec 19
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Are you the absolute value of the square root of 100?

Cause no matter how I see it you're always a 10
👤︎ u/mufasaufd
📅︎ Nov 22
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If you were a dinosaur

You’d be a T-Rex with a Q in front and no Rex after. (ps was inspired by another line I saw. Let me know if this is good about to slide in this absolute beauty’s DMs.)
👤︎ u/Salty_Gibs
📅︎ Jul 12
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What's the difference between you and coronavirus?

Nothing, you're both absolutely breathtaking
📅︎ May 11
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Damn girl are you a Pixar mom?

Cause you got an absolute dump truck
📅︎ May 06
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Is your name Hannibal Lecter?

Because you look absolute insane
📅︎ Apr 03
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(Late) Valentine’s Day themed pickup lines

1. If you had to choose one Valentine’s Day gift to receive, what would it be? 2. Let’s settle this debate: candy hearts, terrible or the absolute worst? 3. Russell Stover and come over? 4. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 ^ some flowers for you on this fine Valentine’s Day 5. Ideal Valentine’s Day dinner menu? 6. Right from the start you stole my heart. Lol, I took that from a Hallmark card…What’s up? 7. What’s your best Valentine’s Day pickup line? (Yes, this is mine.) 8. If I were to give you a Valentine, it’d be a picture of Simon Cowell that says, “It’s a yes from me” 9. *read in life alert lady voice* Help! I’ve fallen for you, and I can’t get up. 10. If you were a candy heart, what would you say? 11. I spent all night making you a Valentine. When are you free so I can give it to you? 12. Fuck, marry, kill: candy hearts, chocolate-covered strawberries, very expensive and subpar Valentine’s Day dinners 13. Hey, kinda awkward but I think my Valentine got lost in the mail? 14. You can only choose one cheesy and awful Valentine’s Day pickup line. Choose wisely: A. This Valentine’s Day, let’s make like fabric softener and Snuggle. B. Cupid called. He says that he needs my heart back. C. You’re so sweet, you could put Hershey’s out of business. D. None, but you’re funny and original. Let’s get a drink.
👤︎ u/KPA-15
📅︎ Feb 15
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Damn, girl are you toilet paper?

Because I need all of you for absolutely no reason.
👤︎ u/Brussington
📅︎ Mar 25
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Just call me big boobs.

Because I’ll absolutely ruin your back.
👤︎ u/alliedcola
📅︎ Mar 24
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Are you an algebra genius?

Cuz you got all the absolute values
👤︎ u/MtxJosh
📅︎ Nov 20
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Hey girl, are you Planck's temperature?

Because you are absolute hot
👤︎ u/Ofitus21
📅︎ Mar 03
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Do you have advanced radiation poisoning?

Because you are absolutely glowing
📅︎ Nov 04
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Are you my Therapist?

Because I want to see you every week, cry to you, and spend lots on you for Absolutely nothing in return
👤︎ u/AlterXade10
📅︎ Aug 18
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Need help with a good line for my girlfriend

Hello I’ve been stuck trying to think of a great pick up line to cheer up my girlfriend Nat She really likes when I use the absolute gold lines that I see here on her And I can always make her laugh with the help of the power of the pick up people here
📅︎ Nov 23
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In the form of a logic puzzle.

The solution to the German Tank problem states that if you confirm for certain that at least n of something exists, then the total amount of that thing is probably 2n. Therefore, if I confirm for certain that at least 1 guy likes you, then there are probably at least 2 guys that do. Now, how do we know that the number of guys that like you are at least 1? Well, the same way that you know, when countin money and starting with a nickle, that you have at least 5 cents. You don't need to know the number, you just need to confirm that one guy likes you, and then you know that at least 1 guy likes you. I am unable to assess to emotions of other guys, but despite that, I know for absolute certain that one guy likes you, and therefore that there are probably two. How do I know that?
📅︎ Apr 03
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Hey baby, are from Heaven?

Because I sure do want to kill myself. However, the possibility of an afterlife instills me with abounding despair, for if there truly is a Heaven, then equally as true must be a Hell. Given the uncountable sins of my lifetime heretofore, it is with absolute certainty that my eternal soul would be condemned to the lake of fire, should it exist at all. O' how sweet the thought of endless oblivion! A serene nothingness that lasts thoughout all of time, and is over at once. Beyond the heat death of our universe, a multi-trillion year sempiternity to those who wake, I would glide in an instant. Knowing such a nonexistence awaited me at my death has been my only comfort for many years. However, laying eyes upon you has all but abolished that comfort. Your angelic presence casts doubt upon such a fate. For how could one as beautiful as you originate from a realm other than Paradise?
📅︎ Oct 24
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