Gotta Pick up lines

The best Gotta pick up lines

Sometimes you gotta destroy something beautiful

And grl, I want to destroy you. By placing Van's full of home made plastic explosive made from the rendering of the fat first the soap we make to sell back to the rich women who we got the lard from in the first place along your foundations strategically, to wipe the nation's debt record causing utter irreversible chaos
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/quaado_17
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 27
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Hey baby, you gotta tell me your name ...

cos last night in my dreams, I could only call you *baby*
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Comprefyingly
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 12
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

If you gotta jump to put on Jeans

Call me
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/zlogonjepissa
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 18
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

we gotta so some analysis to do ๐Ÿง

but the ysis is silent ๐Ÿฅด
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/that1kidinthecornerr
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 25
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

You gotta us the bathroom girl?

Ur an 8.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/smullen0424
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 18
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Are you a mom character designed by Pixar?

Cause DAMN you gotta thicc ass
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MannerMemer
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 01
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Can I take a picture of you real quick?

I gotta show Santa what I want for Christmas
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Squibbtheboop
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 05
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Hello! my name's Lucy (Trashy name but I've grown to like it) I'm a 17 year old (F).

Hm, just wanted to say hi to everyone I'm new! :) But I just gotta say..if you are what you eat, then I'll be you by tomorrow ;)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TesticularCanc3r
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 25
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Girl, you've got me feeling like I must own an extraordinarily popular Vietnamese restaurant

Cause I've gotta phแปŸ queue
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OneQuadrillionOwls
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 19
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Hey gorl are u my jiwkwjgkhack uwu tooto bitch

Coz my g toy YB gotta be inside yo
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/insanis_rat
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 07
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

How would you like to be robbed?

Because i hear your virginitys free, all i gotta do is go inside.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JustARonin7274
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 27
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

A long one about bunnies with a 0% success rate with a sample of 2.

Alright so this one is super long and super dumb but maybe itโ€™ll get you a laugh or a restraining order. Here we go: Once upon a time there was a bunny who got lost from her home. She wandered and wandered for hours and then she came across a black bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home. To that, the black bunny replied: โ€œsure, but youโ€™ve gotta make me happy first.โ€ So they fuck and then the black bunny, satisfied, points her towards the south. However, the poor bunny found herself lost again and continued to wander. But then she came across a white bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home and to that, the white bunny replied: โ€œsure, but youโ€™ve gotta make me happy first.โ€ So they fuck and then the white bunny, satisfied, points her towards the east. But the poor bunny found herself lost yet again and continued to wander until she came across a brown bunny. She asked him if he could show her the way home and to that, the brown bunny replied: โ€œsure, but youโ€™ve gotta make me happy first.โ€ The poor bunny is exhausted but she needs to get home so she obliged. They fuck and then the brown bunny, satisfied, points her towards the north. Finally, the bunny made her way home, but by the time she got back, she was pregnant and soon had babies. What color fur did her babies have? [person of interest throws out guesses as to what color the babies were and you tell them that all their answers are wrong.] When they give up and finally ask what color the babies are, hit em with: โ€œsure Iโ€™ll tell you but youโ€™ve gotta make me happy firstโ€.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rehab-detox
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 03
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Gotta go now, canโ€™t talk to you.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/LionVenom10
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 13
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Donโ€™t ever say youโ€™re trash

Unless I gotta take you out
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Swissball1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 13
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Hey are you my taxes?

Cause I gotta do you before April 15th.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FineSlim1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 10
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

World's going extinct, let's live like today's the end...

Gotta make our last moments worthwhile, take off you're clothes and get in the bed ๐Ÿคช - Day 41
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/suyashve
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 14
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Girl are you Jimmy Neutron

Cus we gotta blast
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/hoppy886
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 19
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Girl, are you my wife and chlidren

Cause i gotta go get milk real quick.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Jersuki
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 07
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

hey girl you can call me subway

cause ive gotta footlong
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SmilingFlameYT
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 07
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Girl, I wanna take you to a museum.

Someoneโ€™s gotta pin the artwork to the wall
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Shujaemon
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 02
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

You're like my math assignment

Because I gotta smack you on the table and do you all night.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/nastynash2k
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

You can just call me the DNR

because I gotta start managing your wetlands
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/PyromancerPolka
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 18
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?

She : no? You : exactly, so why you gotta put makeup on your face?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/krazy4001
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 18
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. Itโ€™s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you canโ€™t just say โ€œhey, Iโ€™m not a rapistโ€, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Osborne26
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report