Job Pick up lines

The best Job pick up lines

Hey girl are you a government job?

Cause I am ready to prepare for making you mine, even it takes years
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/sunridersurya
šŸ“…ļøŽ Jan 02
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Hey are you a deadend fulltime 9-5 job?

Because I want you to break me in and treat me like the disposable piece of shit I am
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/darling_23
šŸ“…ļøŽ Dec 17
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The future after graduating uni is even darker! Do you think so?

I just feel so hopeless, lost because i couldnt get graduate jobs. Any advises please!
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/tramnguyen98
šŸ“…ļøŽ Feb 01
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Damn girl are you a nurse doing TikToks on the job?

Because Iā€™m dying for you
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/CRUSADEROF420
šŸ“…ļøŽ May 06
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A long one, but I've had a 100% reply rate from around 50 uses

Feel free to copy and paste: Imagine you and I are in a grocery store. We're in the produce section. You see me. I see you. We exchange a good-natured smile. You can't help but notice something odd about me: I'm carrying a large amount of limes. It puzzles you, but you go back to your shopping nonetheless. After a while, you see me start to walk past you. As I do so, I spill the limes all over the floor around you. Exasperated, I bend down to pick them up. I do a poor job of it, spilling two every time I pick one up. Eventually, I stop and look up at you with a nervous grin and say "I'm so sorry, ma'am. I'm no good at pickup limes."
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/MrEAnonymously
šŸ“…ļøŽ Jul 19
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I don't know if you know this, but I do restoration work as a side job...

I can turn your clitor-was to a clitoris
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/AngryLaoG
šŸ“…ļøŽ Oct 24
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My job is to clean the streets...

But I'm a Janitor in the sheets.
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/TheWaluigiGamer
šŸ“…ļøŽ Apr 19
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Do you work for ISIS ?

Cause you got the best blow jobs
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/Gu4v4LOL
šŸ“…ļøŽ Feb 29
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I didnt know Angel's needed part time jobs

Said this to the new girl at work back when we were in highschool. She had a good laugh.
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/cptomgipwndu
šŸ“…ļøŽ Feb 24
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Hey girl are you a Dino?

Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/petergriffinfricken
šŸ“…ļøŽ May 09
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Hey hun, do you know the difference between a Big Mac and a blow job?

Hey hun, do you know the difference between a Big Mac and a blow job? No? You want to go to lunch tomorrow?
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/MikeMcK83
šŸ“…ļøŽ Sep 21
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How to Accelerate your results in Game?

What are the 4 shifts you must go through? (Part 1/ 2) One of the core issues man have is: What are you thinking about when you are gaming? A lot of guys are WASTING a lot of their MENTAL RAM in what is the next step. What should I say next? What is she thinking about me? Does she like me? How can I sexualize more? One of the key things to do is to get free of all those worries. You should already assume that she likes you. This will free up some space and allow you to relax more in the interaction. The only thing that you should be concerned about is her logistics and if they are people around like friends who might cock block you. The main thought should be around what are the possibilities. What are the odds of getting her home? You should allow yourself to be in the moment and not be in state of doing something or trying to do something. This will allow you to be present and actually listen to the girl That's why many of your interactions end up not going anywhere... Get rid of that mental RAM usage! Only use the mental RAM for logistics, understand the current situation and move things forward. The rest is assumed! You should get to a point where you have a paradigm shift. You might get results with routines and stuff like that... However, You will figure out that the goal is not only the result You should be able to ENJOY THE ALL PROCESS and not seeing it as a job or something you are doing to the girl. STOP SEEING EVERYTHING AS A COMPETITION! For example when she is shit testing you and you think that you must win her over. Start seeing it more as a COLLABORATION where you and she are on the same team. You should be feeling EMPATHY and not COMPETITIVENESS. Instead as seeing other man as competition or cock blockers see them as your friends. Realise that NOBODY is against you. They are all part of YOUR TRIBE. This frame of mind will make you pretty much UNSTOPPABLE. You are NO LONGER in your interactions to WIN something. What happens is that you're just being NORMAL and not competing like everybody else The funny thing is girls start noticing you more. She will ask herself why is he not behaving like the other guys? She will be chasing you like you never seen before. When the quarantine is over go out and try this and let me know what changes did you see Btw don't miss PART 2 where im going to talk about the final and most important paradigm shift that will explode YOUR RESULTS.
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/barrocasdiogo
šŸ“…ļøŽ May 01
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Hey Girl, Are You A Hair Dryer

because theres other jobs to be blowing with
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/diggsean32
šŸ“…ļøŽ Feb 15
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Hey you you're finally awake. Did you fall from the sky?

Cuz I want to give you a rim job in the back of this chariot
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/hoppy886
šŸ“…ļøŽ Nov 22
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Were you born on the 11th of September?

Cause Iā€™d like to do an inside job
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/Phillip_Mynards
šŸ“…ļøŽ Sep 30
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Crop circle ice-breaker:

"You know, I'm the one responsible for those crop circles in England." -- Jerry Seinfeld From Seinfeld season 3, episode 9, "The Nose job"
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/rinn10
šŸ“…ļøŽ Jul 06
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Hi im a cop that arrests the mentally deranged

My job is to bust a nut , and your under arrest.
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/santino1987
šŸ“…ļøŽ Feb 11
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Would you like to dance?

Would you like to dance? No? Then I suppose a blow job is out of the question? (I once had a friend ask me what you're supposed to say if she answers the question with a "yes." At that point you just dance with her....)
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/MikeMcK83
šŸ“…ļøŽ Sep 23
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Did you just immigrate to the U.S.?

Because I've got a few jobs for you. From my friend Coby
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/beastlyzach
šŸ“…ļøŽ Feb 21
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I'm not taking credit. Heard this on Last Comic Standing and had to share it with the rest of the world.

"My penis just lost its job, so if you know of any openings it can fill..."
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/THE_reverbdeluxe
šŸ“…ļøŽ Oct 14
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Hey baby I see you like air.

How about a blow job?
šŸ‘¤ļøŽ u/zaketyzak
šŸ“…ļøŽ Oct 02
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