Laugh Pick up lines

Me: hey do you know where "me saying an name of shop" Her: yes that way Me: and ehm..Your number? (Shows phone) Bruh this is smooth as hell right

This was many years ago maybe 1981 or 82. I was dancing with girl at a club. She seemed nice and she did agree to dance with me. So I wanted to say something cleaver and out of nowhere, I am Like “Would you ever consider having sex with a Complete Stranger” she gets this puzzled look and says No! Well than allow me to introduce myself, My name is Michael and I offer her my hand. She laughed and shock my hand and gave me her name. I said now we are not strangers. She laughed again. It didn’t get me laid that night, but that night lead to another date and eventually into her pants.

Because I’m officially taken as a joke.

Because I’m pretty funny lookin’

Damnnnnn Girl you're so hot 🔥 If you ate bread.... you'd poop toast.

'coz all my life is a joke

So immature but it makes me fucking laugh 😂

FYI: This is the condensed version. I had to work for it. It wasn’t as simple as just a few sentences. “Hey there! I’m Dave.” ((makes small talk...tries to get date)) Her: “Yeah, thanks but no thanks.” Me: “Why not? Is it my size? I mean, yeah, I’m fat, but so?” Her: “You said it, not me.” Me: “Ah, come on. There are a ton of guys out there named Dave I bet you’d go out with, but have you ever been out with a ton of guy named Dave?” Her: ((laughs...panties drop))

Alright so this one is super long and super dumb but maybe it’ll get you a laugh or a restraining order. Here we go: Once upon a time there was a bunny who got lost from her home. She wandered and wandered for hours and then she came across a black bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home. To that, the black bunny replied: “sure, but you’ve gotta make me happy first.” So they fuck and then the black bunny, satisfied, points her towards the south. However, the poor bunny found herself lost again and continued to wander. But then she came across a white bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home and to that, the white bunny replied: “sure, but you’ve gotta make me happy first.” So they fuck and then the white bunny, satisfied, points her towards the east. But the poor bunny found herself lost yet again and continued to wander until she came across a brown bunny. She asked him if he could show her the way home and to that, the brown bunny replied: “sure, but you’ve gotta make me happy first.” The poor bunny is exhausted but she needs to get home so she obliged. They fuck and then the brown bunny, satisfied, points her towards the north. Finally, the bunny made her way home, but by the time she got back, she was pregnant and soon had babies. What color fur did her babies have? [person of interest throws out guesses as to what color the babies were and you tell them that all their answers are wrong.] When they give up and finally ask what color the babies are, hit em with: “sure I’ll tell you but you’ve gotta make me happy first”.

Cause you really know how to make a wiener stand. (Disclosure: I’m female but this still made me laugh)

"Hey girl, you're fun sized and I'm bun sized, let's do something!"

Hey I just shit in my bed, can I sleep in yours?

Because, I don’t know why you’re here, or what you’re doing, and I wanna take you out. Don’t know if repost but my dad told me this one and I laughed.

Because I really like you a lot and I don't know how to tell you and Everytime I try to flirt with you you just brush it off laugh and tell me I'm so stupid when all I wanna do is cradle you in my arms as we travel to different places and eventually settle down and build a family together cause I wanna show you off to my family and you keep talking to all these boys that mistreat you

Most start laughing and boom, better icebreaker than the Titanic.

Said this to the new girl at work back when we were in highschool. She had a good laugh.

Hello I’ve been stuck trying to think of a great pick up line to cheer up my girlfriend Nat She really likes when I use the absolute gold lines that I see here on her And I can always make her laugh with the help of the power of the pick up people here

Need a good pickup line for the girl that's named crystal. Something clever that will make her laugh.

Just to give you a clarification on how shit I am at talking to girls at prom once this girl I was friends with wore this long and wide red dress that fell behind her and I said to her “you look lovely, you look like a very beautiful jabba” she didn’t know what that was and as if that wasn’t a godsend enough that she didn’t know and that a higher power wasn’t telling me to just end on your beautiful I then proceeded to say “umm you look like a very pretty slug” right so now everything’s cleared up that’s not even the worst thing I’ve ever said to a girl the only reason I actually have any girls who are friends is because once at a party I was drunk and I said I was gay, I’m not but the next day at college all the girls were putting me cause all the roadmen were Fucking getting a right laugh out of it then they all got suspended then all the girls started talking to me so I just went along with it Right so now that rabbit hole is impossible to get out of so I’m bisexual according to everyone but me, I don’t know how to Fucking be a human being for more than three minutes HELP

I was checking out at a grocery store, there was a nice look lady in front of me seemed to be my age and the cashier didn't see her cart she asked if we were together, (she didn't see the little separator stick) I replied "We aren't yet", got a laugh and a number !!! BOOYAH!

Tell someone to measure one side of their ear. Measure your ear too, then compare. The moment she realizes that you both formed a heart shape, she'll surely laugh. Ladies can also do this. Comment the result here. :)

This isn't a pickup line per se, but I've always found this situation to be frustrating. She's super hot, but you can't chat her up during your transaction-- it doesn't take long enough, and you can't just stand there holding up the people behind you. So here's what I do (and it's worked a couple times). What you'll need: A pen, a post-it note, and a little bit of stealth What you do: Walk into the store, ID the girl you want to talk to. As soon as you walk in, make sure she can't see you put the pen on the counter-- a good way to do this is to do it as you bend down to tie your shoes (leave one shoe untied to make it more convincing). When you're checking out, put your items on the counter and put your post-it note to the side (maybe take it out of your pocket as if you're looking for your money/wallet/card and just want to discard it for a second). This is where the pen from the beginning comes in. Ask her "Hey, can I borrow that pen?" She'll assume it's the store's, and she'll say sure. While she's ringing you up, write your name and number on the post-it note. Take your items and your change, and then give her this: "Oh, here's your pen back... thanks. And here's my phone number. Call me." And then calmly walk out of the door with a smile on your face. MAKE SURE YOU SMILE. Add a wink if you're feeling particularly confident. It also helps if you can at least make small talk during the process-- try to make her laugh or smile. Like I said, this has worked for me at least twice, and one time it didn't work, the girl still said it was "cute." Just thought I'd share a solution to a problem I hate. Didn't really know where else to put it. This is gonna get downvoted straight to the eighth circle of Hell, isn't it? :-(

Taking my girl to a theme park (universal) and want to throw pickup lines at her all day just to make her laugh. Anyone have any that would be location related?

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.