Minute Pick up lines

Let's see if i can finish you in four

Wanna work out with me sometime?..

If I had a white van, I’d want you in it

I already have a pen for writing down my number.

Now considering that there's a tiny nonzero probability that this is the last 45 minutes of our lives, can we go have sex for a tiny nonzero amount of time?

Cause I want to stuff you to the bottom of my bag, forget about you for a week, remember you last minute, start doing you, get bored, last ten seconds, then spend the rest of the year listening to gossip about me being a failure.

Should I die to meet you?

Maybe it’s 5 minutes fast...

We should workout sometime 😘

Without you 60 minutes feel like an hour

Because I want to give you this bread for about two minutes of your time

Because the pictures look better then the real thing and im finnished in 2 minutes.

She : what ? I am a virgin !! He : My watch is 20 minutes fast

Cause it's that, or you're just hot ;) (Inspiration from u/akaloosha's post)

Because I want to slam you on the desk, promise to do you all night long, get distracted, last 2 minutes, cry, turn on the tv and continue to hate myself for another weak performance

Because I wanna claim I did you for 10 minutes.

Because I can finish you in less than a minute.

Because you are refreshing!

Junior Year of College when I first started going to bars on Thursday nights, I was getting into the Juul. I didn’t have my own but when ever I was at a bar and some guy had a juul I’d ask them if I could hit it. They’d let me, I’d smoke it for a minute. Then give it back. After that, they would always try to talk to me. So eventually I used the “can I hit your juul” to start convos with guys at shitty college bars. No longer gonna be my pick up line with Covid tho. And I quit juul too haha.

Because I wanna do you in the backseat of my car

Cause I wanna procrastinate till the last minute then spend all night doing you

Because I'd stay up 5 minutes past my bedtime to finish you

Got a minute?

because i’m trying to eat you in thirty minutes or less.

(She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast

Cause I wanna slam you on the desk talk about doing you for hours only to last seven minutes and cry myself to sleep

So i can spank you every 10 minutes, for another 10 minutes.

Like little Caesar's....I'll be Hot N Ready within 5 minutes

(This is a handpicked list of Johnny Bravo pickup lines from the 90s cartoon “Johnny Bravo.”) Hello, 911 emergency, there’s a handsome guy in my house. Oh, Heh, wait a second, cancel that, it’s only me. Hey baby, I can tell we both love the same things : Me! Oh, Momma , I’m so sweet that I’ve got a mouth full of cavities. If loving me is wrong, you don’t wanna be right. I’m pretty you’re pretty, wanna go home and stare at each other? I’m a thief and I’m here to steal your heart. Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice. I must be a snowflake, cause I’ve fallen for you! I’m a dancer, a romancer, you’re a Capricorn, I’m a Cancer! Well baby, what’s it like looking at the man of your dreams. Wanna feel my muscles? Only a dime a minute. Gosh you smell pretty. Wanna smell me? Anybody ever tell you, I’m pretty? Hey baby, don’t walk away, you’re headed the wrong direction, My house is this way. I got you a birthday present, Me. Baby, you’re beach front property, and I’m a tidal wave of love. Hey baby, you’ve look like you have Bravo fever, and I’m just what the doctor ordered. Can you guess how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Bravopop or Johnnypop ... whatever you prefer? Wanna play TV? I’ll play with your knobs while you watch my antenna rise. [after saying she has a boyfriend] You look like the kind of girl that could use two. Girl, you’re like an itchy rash. You’re hot and make me very uncomfortable.

Oh you are? It must be 15 minutes fast!

Because I want to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes, and stare at you

Cause I wanna slam you on my desk, forget about you, do you hard for 2 minutes, give up, and then cry about my performance

Because in the last 15 minutes you've made me grow 15%

Because I will think about you all week and do you at the last minute.

Because I wouldn't last 5 minutes with you.

You are? I think it’s just running about 30 minutes fast.

... (30 minutes into chatting with her a pizza actually shows up)

Hi, (looking at the girl and then looking over at her friends) you have the rest of your lives to get to know her, but for me, i just got these few minutes, so can i have her?

You go up to the girl and tell her: 'Hey, I've got this magic clock, it tells me if people are wearing underwear. Right now it tells me that you are not wearing any underwear' she: 'But I am' you:'Damn the clock's five minutes ahead of time'

Just to give you a clarification on how shit I am at talking to girls at prom once this girl I was friends with wore this long and wide red dress that fell behind her and I said to her “you look lovely, you look like a very beautiful jabba” she didn’t know what that was and as if that wasn’t a godsend enough that she didn’t know and that a higher power wasn’t telling me to just end on your beautiful I then proceeded to say “umm you look like a very pretty slug” right so now everything’s cleared up that’s not even the worst thing I’ve ever said to a girl the only reason I actually have any girls who are friends is because once at a party I was drunk and I said I was gay, I’m not but the next day at college all the girls were putting me cause all the roadmen were Fucking getting a right laugh out of it then they all got suspended then all the girls started talking to me so I just went along with it Right so now that rabbit hole is impossible to get out of so I’m bisexual according to everyone but me, I don’t know how to Fucking be a human being for more than three minutes HELP

Hey… I really don’t mean to interrupt you girls, but could I speak with you for a minute? I just won’t be able to forgive myself if I left this place without getting to know you…”

What's the weirdes pick-up line you've ever used that succeeded? I'll go first; ''What's the difference between you and an armadillo? I didn't jerk off to an armadillo five minutes ago.''

Hey girl, you can call me the North Tower. Cause I put out for 102 minutes then leave you in pieces on the ground.

Because I'm white and I cause a 90 minute delay

Cuz I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a break in the middle for snacks.

"Oh well then my watch (or phone) is fifteen minutes fast."