Total Pick up lines

So you're the the only thing making me wet

1. You’re cute. 2. We should totally date. 3. I’m making this all up. I used this with success. Date coming up soon! EDIT: The date went well. We deleted our apps and got each other’s numbers! EDIT 2: She said she isn’t feeling the chemistry but I am really sweet and she wants to be friends.

but when I saw you, your smile brought a revolution to my heart.

You could be the referee, I could be the Kansas City Chiefs, and you could totally fuck me.

...because I am totally boyfriend material.

Because I'm totally checking you out

Because I totally confused you for a flower

Said to me by some chick on tinder haha

Because I’d totally give you a shot

Note: I used this and it totally worked. 😂

Help 4 beta love

I’ll give an A because your awesome. I’ll give you a B because your beautiful. I’ll give you a C because your confident. And I’ll give you this D because you totally deserve it.

But I totally think that dress would look way better accelerating to the ground at 9.81 m/s^2

I'd totally finger you out

Because you're a total knockout 😏

Because I would totally hit that assparagus of yours

Because I’d totally pay extra for you.

Because you've totally blown me away

I have created the perfect formula for helping my guy friends pick up chicks in bars. Men, all you need is one female friend or buddy’s girlfriend (let’s call her Hannah) to help and the hot chick you want to meet needs to be at the bar. Step 1: Hannah goes up to bar next to the hot chick you want to pick up. Step 2: Hannah compliments the hot chick on literally anything (“omg I love your hair color who is your stylist?” “wow that jacket is awesome, where can I find one” etc.). We all love talking to chicks who say nice things about us. Step 3: While Hannah is chatting up hot girl on her right, you are buying three shots on her left. Step 4: You offer a shot to Hannah while she is still chatting up hot chick. Step 5: Hannah (loudly) claims she can’t find her boyfriend who the third shot was purchased for. Since Hannah and hot chick are now BFFs, she turns to hot chick and says the following “My friend Jake here bought my boyfriend and I a shot but we can’t find him anywhere, do you want to take it with us?” Introduce yourself. Offer hot girl the shot. Emphasize that Hannah’s boyfriend disappeared, etc. Step 6: Hot girl ALWAYS says yes because hot girls at bars love free shots. Step 7: Hannah takes a shot. Tells Lexi (all hot girls are named Lexi) it was nice to meet her, and dips out. You are left chatting up Lexi, buy her a drink, drunkenly make out with her in a corner after 2 hours, etc.p Why does this work? 1. When Hannah compliments Lexi (aka hot chick), Lexi automatically likes Hannah and sees that she’s totally normal and super nice. 2. By you being friends with Hannah, it makes you seem like a regular cool guy and you must be great if you have such cool female friends. 3. Because you’re buying shots, you also seem like a pretty cool dude. Everyone loves the guy who buys people shots. 4. And most importantly, because Hannah lies about her boyfriend being in the bathroom or wherever, hot chick knows you two aren’t hooking and that Hannah is not a threat. Hannah wins because she gets a free shot. Lexi wins because she gets a free shot and gets to meet a cool person like yourself. You win because awesome hot chicks like us let you buy us shots. Go forth and conquer, my friends.

Because I was totally checking you out

because i can totally see me in your pants

I'd totally lose an "I" to get "U"

Because you totally seem to be my type!

The solution to the German Tank problem states that if you confirm for certain that at least n of something exists, then the total amount of that thing is probably 2n. Therefore, if I confirm for certain that at least 1 guy likes you, then there are probably at least 2 guys that do. Now, how do we know that the number of guys that like you are at least 1? Well, the same way that you know, when countin money and starting with a nickle, that you have at least 5 cents. You don't need to know the number, you just need to confirm that one guy likes you, and then you know that at least 1 guy likes you. I am unable to assess to emotions of other guys, but despite that, I know for absolute certain that one guy likes you, and therefore that there are probably two. How do I know that?

Coz I’m totally attracted to you.

Because I can totally see my future with you.

So if you want to be on top of me that's totally doable

Because when I was walking towards you just now I could totally see myself coming in your ass.

I totally would like to oil your piston

because I can totally see myself in your pants