Two Pick up lines

1. You’re cute. 2. We should totally date. 3. I’m making this all up. I used this with success. Date coming up soon! EDIT: The date went well. We deleted our apps and got each other’s numbers! EDIT 2: She said she isn’t feeling the chemistry but I am really sweet and she wants to be friends.

Two knees, And more than enough toes... The only thing I need right now is head. Will you give me some?

On our first date: 1. I will eat you. 2. You will eat me. 3. We unmatch.

“brobemine” ;)

A lot of guys say “I don’t know what to say when I approach a woman,” so I decided to write this article with some tips. The thing women are most attracted to is an adventure, and a fun conversation should be an adventure where you and her are tackling a difficult, interesting, and fun subject, with you in the lead. The “value” you provide her is your leadership in the conversation, and the value she provides is that she contributes to the fun of the conversation. Your goal, therefore, is to get the conversation to a point where it is fun and interesting before she loses interest and becomes bored. To do this you must “hook” her with an opener, and then you can hopefully get the conversation to a point where you are talking about deep, fun, interesting stuff as quick as possible. **Openers** A compliment is a great opener because it implies that she has already done something to contribute to your emotional experience. You can say “Hey, you look fucking amazing” or “Hey you look fucking hot” or “Hey, I love your shoes, backpack, hair, etc…” or “I fucking love your energy and aura.” If she reacts with interest, you can follow it up with “What’s your name” or something like “You are hot, but are you nice/cool/etc…?” If a girl is having a great time and exuding joy and positivity, I will make that the basis of my compliment and say something like “You look like you are having the most fun of any person here” or “Damn, I love how you came to turn the fuck up tonight” or “Thanks for coming. This party is so much better because of you.” I can already hear you dorks squealing “you can’t tell a girl she looks hot! You will look needy, creepy, etc…” Wrong. As you will learn, creepiness is when you do more for a woman than she has done for you or than she deserves. If a girl spends a bunch of time doing her hair and makeup before she goes out and you tell her that she looks great, you are doing the right amount for her. If, however, you tell her she looks hot and she brushes you off, and then you hang around staring at her with your tongue out, THEN you look creepy. A simple and effective opener is to introduce yourself. “Hi, my name is X. What’s yours?” This is good for more formal situations where you can’t go around telling girls they look fucking hot. If you are in a party or something where everybody knows each other, you should introduce yourself to every single girl there as a matter of course. You can also keep it simple and go with “Hey, how are you?” or “What’s going on with you?” or “Hey, what’s up?” Because these statements have relatively low emotional impact, you need to deliver them with extra intensity. If a woman is mid-conversation with somebody else, you can butt in and say “Hey I’m really sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to say you look fucking amazing.” If there is a group, you can hand out compliments to the entire group, but you should quickly settle on one woman and make it clear to everybody that she is your target. If you want to get a little spicy, you can try the following: “Sorry for interrupting, but you are too hot for this place.” If you want to get extra extra spicy, you can say “you are too hot for these guys you are with.” If the girl is clearly too good for the guys she is with and is clearly unhappy with them, this can work. Otherwise, it is risky. “So, what’s your deal?” (with a sly grin) “Congratulations, what’s it like to be the hottest girl in this club?” If you have a friend with you, a very effective approach is to go up to the girls and introduce them to your friends. For some reason, this technique has been very effective for me, and I am not sure why. It might be because I am immediately giving my friend social proof in front of the women, or maybe it is because my friend does not look needy because he is technically not the one doing the approach. For whatever reason, it works. Many men approach women and immediately lose confidence or their mind goes blank. To prevent yourself from doing this, I suggest at least one follow up line to keep the conversation going. “Where were you before this?” or “What have you been up to tonight?” “What did you do today?” (This one sounds weird but it is actually very effective. Everybody is thinking about what they did that day, and it sounds like something you would hear from somebody you were close with). “What brings you here tonight?” “Have you been here before?” “Are you having a fun night?” “How do you guys know each other?” (when there are two people) For your second line, you can also use one of your other openers. For example, if you open with “hey my name is” your second line can be “you look fucking hot.” If you think those lines are corny and you think you can do better, then fuck off and think of your own. Remember, these scripted lines are back-up plans for when you cannot think of anything else. It is always better to be in the moment. What you say doesn’t matter as much as how you say it. **Deep conversation subjects** Ideally, your goal should be to get the conversation as deep as possible as quickly as possible. The purpose is for you and her to go on an adventure and “conquer” the difficult question. Here are some go-to questions I use, including my answers for these questions. What is the craziest thing you believe? (My answer: I believe in mind reading) Do you believe in ghosts? Aliens? (My answer: I am open to anything being true) What is your favorite conspiracy theory? (My answer: That Paul McCartney died in a car accident in the 60s and the current Paul McCartney is an imposter) What do you think a dream is? (My answer: a dream if your subconscious brain trying to help you solve a problem) If you could be any celebrity, who would you be? What is your idea of a perfect day? (Wake up, get high, go surfing, drink some cappuccino, have a delicious meal, fuck somebody I like) What do you think love is? (My answer: when you commit to doing the best thing for the other person, no matter what ‘the best’ is) What do you think a true friend is? (My answer: somebody who will be there for you at 3 AM). What superpower would you have if you could have any? (My answer: flying) What would you do if you had all the money in the world (My answer: buy myself an island and help poor people) What are you reading now? (My answer: whatever I am reading at that time). Other good subjects are drug stories, stories about times you did something really stupid, uplifting stories about a time when somebody was a good friend, and stories about a time you were really scared/embarrassed/uplifted/excited. Basically, any strong emotion. Because these subjects are deep, sometimes controversial, and require vulnerability, please make sure you do not say anything rude or judgmental. If you ask somebody what the craziest thing they believe is, and then you make fun of them for it after they do it, they will not open up to you again. Most people refrain from talking about subjects like this for the very reason that they are afraid of being judged. You want her to feel comfortable, open, and vulnerability. You might say “these are pretty serious subjects to bring up to a woman.” You are right – you have to find a way to talk about this stuff in a light-hearted, fun way. Take away the stigma and pressure off of these subjects and make her feel like there is no “wrong” answer and you are both there to have fun, not for anybody to “win” or make the other person feel bad. The purpose of these questions is to spark a deep, interesting conversation that touches people’s emotions: their desires, their fears, their values, etc… **Topics to Stay Away From** Stay away from anything relating to politics or religion if it something that you and her will inevitably disagree on. Also stay away from boring subjects like “what is your favorite movie or album”? That stuff is actually much less interesting and deep than people think. Stay away from exes. Stay away from subjects that could be interpreted as creepy – if you are interested in famous rapists or serial killers, you may want to keep that to yourself until you guys know each other very well.

You'd see two of the most beautiful things in the world

their confused because they can't understand how cute you are

You got at least two things I want to check out.

You: I liked this girl for a long time. I don't know how she feels about me so can I show you a picture of her and you tell me? Her: sure You: *shows a picture of her*

Would you like to join my dnd group? We only have two

Because I want to give you this bread for about two minutes of your time

I have five fingers , but tonight you’ll get two

My life would be better if I were with you 🥰 - Day 46

1. 'Cuz I've got just the munchkin to fill your hole. 2. 'Cuz you're great already, but you'd be even better with a cream filling.

Neither. The only thing I'm looking for is your re-ply

Who found each other

Feel free to copy and paste: Imagine you and I are in a grocery store. We're in the produce section. You see me. I see you. We exchange a good-natured smile. You can't help but notice something odd about me: I'm carrying a large amount of limes. It puzzles you, but you go back to your shopping nonetheless. After a while, you see me start to walk past you. As I do so, I spill the limes all over the floor around you. Exasperated, I bend down to pick them up. I do a poor job of it, spilling two every time I pick one up. Eventually, I stop and look up at you with a nervous grin and say "I'm so sorry, ma'am. I'm no good at pickup limes."

And I'm ugly as fuck

Because I want to explode into you (threesome initiation)

Cuz you're hoe

Wanna come back to my place? There's room in my bed for two

"Then you've never seen us together"

One is traveling west at 85 mph, the other heading east at 75 mph. At that rate, how long will it take for you to give me your number?

Because you turned my Little Boy into a Fatman

What the hell was I saying, I can’t get my mind off your Two Lips.

That way, I'd be seeing two of you!

Because it's nice two meat ewe

I’ll give you two in the pussy and one in the stink

Hey girl are you an Instagram story? Coz I keep swiping you right to see you again. Hey girl are you a post on reddit? Coz you're hot and have my upvote.

Because you’re super fly

Unfortunately I can't remember which one I chose.

Out of two nickels *fingers the nickels*.... You're a dime *pushes the dime toward them*

We would have two cents to rub together.

... I should come up with other two wishes

“I just made you come with one finger, imagine two ;)

Because I can't tell the difference between you two

Show me your best threesome initiators.

Imagine what i can do with two!

I love babies, lets make two.

I made you come in one finger imagine two.

Cause I only see you once every two weeks and I want you

So then I would have two more hearts beating for you 💕 - Day 8

(This is a handpicked list of Johnny Bravo pickup lines from the 90s cartoon “Johnny Bravo.”) Hello, 911 emergency, there’s a handsome guy in my house. Oh, Heh, wait a second, cancel that, it’s only me. Hey baby, I can tell we both love the same things : Me! Oh, Momma , I’m so sweet that I’ve got a mouth full of cavities. If loving me is wrong, you don’t wanna be right. I’m pretty you’re pretty, wanna go home and stare at each other? I’m a thief and I’m here to steal your heart. Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice. I must be a snowflake, cause I’ve fallen for you! I’m a dancer, a romancer, you’re a Capricorn, I’m a Cancer! Well baby, what’s it like looking at the man of your dreams. Wanna feel my muscles? Only a dime a minute. Gosh you smell pretty. Wanna smell me? Anybody ever tell you, I’m pretty? Hey baby, don’t walk away, you’re headed the wrong direction, My house is this way. I got you a birthday present, Me. Baby, you’re beach front property, and I’m a tidal wave of love. Hey baby, you’ve look like you have Bravo fever, and I’m just what the doctor ordered. Can you guess how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Bravopop or Johnnypop ... whatever you prefer? Wanna play TV? I’ll play with your knobs while you watch my antenna rise. [after saying she has a boyfriend] You look like the kind of girl that could use two. Girl, you’re like an itchy rash. You’re hot and make me very uncomfortable.

" Wanna Canoodle? "

I have created the perfect formula for helping my guy friends pick up chicks in bars. Men, all you need is one female friend or buddy’s girlfriend (let’s call her Hannah) to help and the hot chick you want to meet needs to be at the bar. Step 1: Hannah goes up to bar next to the hot chick you want to pick up. Step 2: Hannah compliments the hot chick on literally anything (“omg I love your hair color who is your stylist?” “wow that jacket is awesome, where can I find one” etc.). We all love talking to chicks who say nice things about us. Step 3: While Hannah is chatting up hot girl on her right, you are buying three shots on her left. Step 4: You offer a shot to Hannah while she is still chatting up hot chick. Step 5: Hannah (loudly) claims she can’t find her boyfriend who the third shot was purchased for. Since Hannah and hot chick are now BFFs, she turns to hot chick and says the following “My friend Jake here bought my boyfriend and I a shot but we can’t find him anywhere, do you want to take it with us?” Introduce yourself. Offer hot girl the shot. Emphasize that Hannah’s boyfriend disappeared, etc. Step 6: Hot girl ALWAYS says yes because hot girls at bars love free shots. Step 7: Hannah takes a shot. Tells Lexi (all hot girls are named Lexi) it was nice to meet her, and dips out. You are left chatting up Lexi, buy her a drink, drunkenly make out with her in a corner after 2 hours, etc.p Why does this work? 1. When Hannah compliments Lexi (aka hot chick), Lexi automatically likes Hannah and sees that she’s totally normal and super nice. 2. By you being friends with Hannah, it makes you seem like a regular cool guy and you must be great if you have such cool female friends. 3. Because you’re buying shots, you also seem like a pretty cool dude. Everyone loves the guy who buys people shots. 4. And most importantly, because Hannah lies about her boyfriend being in the bathroom or wherever, hot chick knows you two aren’t hooking and that Hannah is not a threat. Hannah wins because she gets a free shot. Lexi wins because she gets a free shot and gets to meet a cool person like yourself. You win because awesome hot chicks like us let you buy us shots. Go forth and conquer, my friends.

If beauty and intelligence were two ends on a sliding scale, you're retarded. If beauty and intelligence were two ends on a sliding scale, you're ugly as fuck. If beauty and intelligence were two ends on a sliding scale, you're the definition of beautiful. If beauty and intelligence were two ends on a sliding scale, you're the definition of intelligence. Either way, you're calling someone ugly or stupid. Obligatory "Works every time"

Yours and mine.

She: Yes He: Then you can note mine. She: No He: Okay.... then we'll study just two numbers today 69 and 420.

My dog, my car and you could be the third. Change the first two at your convenience.

Because you'll need two hands for this one.

The solution to the German Tank problem states that if you confirm for certain that at least n of something exists, then the total amount of that thing is probably 2n. Therefore, if I confirm for certain that at least 1 guy likes you, then there are probably at least 2 guys that do. Now, how do we know that the number of guys that like you are at least 1? Well, the same way that you know, when countin money and starting with a nickle, that you have at least 5 cents. You don't need to know the number, you just need to confirm that one guy likes you, and then you know that at least 1 guy likes you. I am unable to assess to emotions of other guys, but despite that, I know for absolute certain that one guy likes you, and therefore that there are probably two. How do I know that?

So I live in a community made artificially multicultural. All kinds of curious creatures with curious ears, tongues and orifices. It's quite common to try to establish common tongues. Often in an encounter the first thing you'll ask is where are you from or you'll step up the game and try to predict it up front. French, German, Romanian, Polish, Spanish, Italian, etc. I've tried learning these and I pick them up very quickly when I try but get bored. Different ways of saying the same thing. Dressing up the same thing differently. Best pickup line for me? It's not oh I know a bit of Spanish or Italian. It's I suck and blow at speaking different languages. I only know two or three. English, Cunnilingus and a bit of Anilingus, I never beat around the bush, I'm always in beating in the bush. Either works every time or it was never meant to happen.

The only two I can think of are: 1. I like you a latte 2.That's not the only thing vente around here. Y'all know any others?

She sat and I asked what she wanted before going to the counter to order, she said double double (Canadian for two cream two sugar) so I went and ordered then brought back our drinks. I gave her the coffee and said "I didn't add any sugar because you're already sweet enough". She looked at me and said "shut the fuck up". My mom didn't find it funny, but the girl at the table next to me did. We now have a lunch date this afternoon. TL;DR Used pick up line on my mom, now have a date with a cute girl

So this has to be done at a bar that uses ice cubes in their drinks. Take up a seat next to the prettiest girl there. She'll probably be wondering why you sat so close with so many empty seats. This is good---pique her interest, get her thinking about you. You order a gin soda or any other hiball (preferably something with no sugary soda). Sit there and drink quietly while you glance up at her every once in a while with maybe a smile or two. Again, keep her thinking "who is this guy and what does he want?" This is critical. Do this maybe four or five times and when she finally turns to you to ask "can I help you?" you take a piece of ice out of your glass, place it on the bar, look her dead in the eye and smash it with your cup. Then you say, in your most James Dean with Wolverine claws voice: "Now that I've broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?" Boom. Panties, meet floor.

you can get these two inches for free?

Cause after I wash my hands, I use five paper towels to dry them off even though I only need two.

Say you are going to perform a magic trick to victim. Ask said person to write down their phone number on a piece of paper, but say you don't need the paper. Ask them to add up all the digits of their phone number **excluding** the middle two. Say something about how phone numbers are not entirely random, and that the middle two digits mostly **(say this exactly "in 99.9999% of cases this works")** formed from the addition of all the other digits divided by two + a special number that only you know, ask them for the addition number, then guess a random number. When it turns out to be wrong, ask for the sheet to check they did the maths right. Then turn to them and say, **"huh, I guess you are just a one in a million kinda guy/girl"**

...and I've got a room in the Hilton for two.

The characters: Downstairs neighbor - single man in his mid 30s Upstairs neighbor - 25 year old female living with her SO The scene: Upstairs neighbor's SO was out of town for 2 weeks, and Upstairs neighbor had gotten her car stuck in the icy driveway. Texted Downstairs neighbor to ask where rocksalt may be in the garage (one of only 4 texts that had occurred between these two parties during the full year of them being neighbors). Downstairs neighbor responds with the location of the rocksalt. The next morning - 6am Downstairs neighbor begins texting conversation with Upstairs neighbor. Somehow resulted in these lines "Wanna come down stairs? I have Netflix" After a cordial refusal and a few more sporadic texts, he goes for the clincher "I have often thought about being intimate with you"