Went Pick up lines

The best Went pick up lines

I went to your girlfriend's Instagram page

It said "edit profile"
📅︎ Feb 18
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why your smile went to jail?

I Forgot
👤︎ u/ioa0
📅︎ Dec 13
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Two truths and a lie:

1. You’re cute. 2. We should totally date. 3. I’m making this all up. I used this with success. Date coming up soon! EDIT: The date went well. We deleted our apps and got each other’s numbers! EDIT 2: She said she isn’t feeling the chemistry but I am really sweet and she wants to be friends.
👤︎ u/Lol_u_ded
📅︎ Dec 12
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Hey, I went to the doctor today

He thinks I have erectile dysfunctional. Would you like to help me prove him wrong?
📅︎ Oct 03
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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water

After all that’s what we are gonna name our son and daughter
👤︎ u/shreygay123
📅︎ Aug 12
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I feel like I just went fishing...

but instead of catching a fish all I caught was feelings for you 🥺🥰
📅︎ Aug 09
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You look so hot in this picture,

I forgot it was winter and went out uncovered.
📅︎ Jan 26
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Want to know how I went from Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time?

Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was … \[21:35, 13/04/2020\] Barrocas: Want to know how I went from Loser Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time? Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was just like a gay friend. Eventually I met a girl through a coworker. This was the first girl that actually got an interest in me. I even got her number. I would wait desperately when it was her turn to text me back or freak out when she didn´t reply immediately. When she replied I had seen on internet that i should not reply right away but I was really tempted and desperate. I eventually fucked that up. I got needy and she stopped replying. Since that moment I really got pissed! I got really frustrated so I decided I had to change something otherwise I would stay in this road FOREVER! I decided to start going out by myself. First started watching some videos and i thought what I was seeing there was way out of my reality. (I was watching just random videos of pranks and then I find out that they were all these videos about "game".) Couldn't believe what i was seeing in these videos. No way that was real! Lol I went out and I first tried to talk to girls but was too hard and way to out of my comfort zone. This is where a lot of guys go WRONG and just give up. Instead I decided to accept that I sucked, and went very small. Started by asking random simple things to people like going to old people and ask for directions or the time. I just wanted to be building up over time 1% every day. During my beginnings I had a lot of friends telling me to go to hookers and I told them to F\*\* off, “I am going to show you I can do it on my own”. Eventually, because I was going out by myself and pushing my limits, over time I started talking to girls. (that got me in some really funny stories like being arrested by the police but that is for another time 🤣) Finally after 5 months of going out i lost my virginity with a girl i approached in my town!! After 6 months found the Game community in Lisbon and met some guys I could go out with. After some time i started to get some more sporadic results and other close calls. Built my way up in the community and started organizing seminar in hotels and doing public speaking, giving value to the community. 2 years in finally found a real life mentor Dhurba Shrestha. He is what we call a "Natural" We went out for all full summer. We had a lot threesomes and gangbangs and even failed a couple of foursomes. We had a lot of fun! I learned a lot by going out with him and observing him. Became way more relaxed and natural than I was before. Now i look back and think how gamey I was. I talk way less and the impact of my words is way more powerful. Today when I say “Hi” it has the same impact has a huge opener. He really helped me go to the next level way quicker. I never thought I could have gang bangs…and girls actually love it!! The main thing that I learned from it was to not to be so possessive over a girl. To be able to share with another guy you must let go of that feeling of possession ( emotional attachment). So to finish off, You might think that right now you suck at talking to girls and it is difficult and hard But don't give up!! If you can't find help and you are by yourself and approaching girls is too hard for you.. Start with baby stepping!! Start talking to old people like I did and then build from there.. Slowly with time and pushing yourself a bit everyday you will start talking to girls Despite what i said previously, ideally you should not try this by yourself of course. Look for other wings to go out with, to motivate you or find someone better than you that is willing to mentor you or exchange some value so you can be around them and learn from them. Hope it was helpful Peace out 😘
📅︎ Apr 14
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Hey sorry, I just went to get a snack

Sadly it wasn’t as good of one as you
📅︎ May 15
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I just went to a fireworks shop

and asked for their biggest bomb. They gave me a picture of you
📅︎ Mar 04
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Are you magnesium iron silicate hydroxide?

Well, if you went out with me, you sure would be cummingtonite.
📅︎ Nov 04
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Hey did you know I went back in time...

I did it to reinvent the keyboard and put 'u' 'i' together
👤︎ u/19thCreator
📅︎ Nov 27
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It's not a shitty one liner... It's a shitty 12 liner

So I was chilling one night right, really hungry. Didn't feel like leaving the house so I called my friend and was like "hey can you grab me some 5 guys?" He was like "word" and went over to buy some. About 2 hours later he finally gets back, and I'm like about to about to fucking starve to death. As I'm shoveling this burger into my mouth I was kind of curious so I asked him "hey so what happened? Was traffic really that bad or what?" And he was like "nah.. It was just a really long pickup line"
👤︎ u/_ieya_
📅︎ Jun 20
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Try it and see. Its a new twist on an oldie

So this one might take a little bit of digging to get some information on the person of interest. Find out if they went to college if they did find out what they studied if they studied a math class or science class you could say that you're being awarded the highest award in that category and when she asks what you're getting the award for you say you figured out how to combine you and I. Cheesy yes. But i feel like its a drunk girl at last call pantie dropper!
👤︎ u/9inchSteve1
📅︎ Jul 30
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Dude why did you just take my lungs? WTF

I guess you could say that you took my breath away... but when I went to the operating room to have them replaced, they did surgery on my heart too. Wonder why? I think you stole that too.
📅︎ Jul 13
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Damn girl, are you a black hole ?

Because i feel like i just went past your event horizon.
👤︎ u/KopetePanda
📅︎ Sep 29
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DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR INNER BELIEFS?

This is not a process that comes in one day. This is how I went about it. One thing you must do is to be constantly learning. Watch and follow different people and coaches and try to take and adapt the information to your specific situation. You must be always questioning what they are saying don´t just accept what they say at face value. Even experts have their own blind spots!! While I was gaming, I was following different people with different approaches, then question those approaches and take my own conclusions. So how did I shift my paradigm? I was always curious. You reinforce the paradigm you are in when you do it over and over again, and that happens because you do not question it. For me it was always about questioning. When I saw other behaviors, I asked: “Where am I doing that?" "Where am I acting like that?” It is easier to watch others and see where they are fucking up but much harder to be self-aware and see where you are fucking up. Until you bring it to your awareness!! Being curious about your own mindset, your own thoughts, your own emotions. Ask “why should I feel like this or why I assume this is normal. Is there a way to see myself that is better? I Was always questioning myself and pushing. Don´t assume what you are doing is the right thing, and that what you are doing is the best you can do. Always question it. Is what I am doing the best thing I could be doing? What alternatives are there? What reality am I assuming to be true? For example, there is the belief that game is painful and hard. Is it really? Or is what you are doing, and your perception that gives you that idea? Maybe if you shift your perception this can help you perceive it has fun. You can see rejection has a negative outcome of the interaction. Or you can see has you are playing a video game and you went up one experience point in your journey and your character is becoming stronger each interaction you go in. Instead of just thinking what “did I do wrong. I am so stupid”. You can think “what was fun in this interaction?” Shifting your perception can help you change your beliefs about yourself and what you are doing. Are you always questioning yourself: “WHY AM I DOING THIS?” A great and enlightening exercise is to Ask why I am doing this and go to the bottom of it- ask “WHY” several times in a row (at least 5 times) until you reach the deepest why. After asking these questions constantly after some time I realized that one of the main reasons I was gaming was that I was looking for validation from woman and the man in the community. I realized I was in for the wrong reasons and I was not really enjoying the process. Even when I got laid, I was not enjoying it, I was elsewhere, thinking I was getting another lay count. When I started to question those things, I stopped looking for validation. Once you realize this and let go of it, your Game starts improving. You become less worried about the outcomes of the interaction and what other people will think. Women start feeling it that you are more present, and less needy. What happens is that you feel less the need to try to control the outcome and you are carefree of it. The more you release of the need to try to control everything the better are your results. Seems counter intuitive but it is what I experienced. Because you are not good enough you think you always must keep talking. You’re afraid she is going to go away. If you get rid of that fear, do what you feel like doing. Paradoxically that is what is going to get you laid more. You must start being aware of your thoughts and how you feel, then you must start thinking that you are good enough. This comes with time while taking action and getting better, your confidence will improve, and your beliefs will shift. When you believe that you are good enough and lose the need to try and control the outcomes is when you have more control and you EXPLODE your results. Hope it was helpful Peace 😘
📅︎ Apr 07
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I would invite you to the movies with me but...

Last time i went they told me to stop bringing my own snacks.
📅︎ Aug 20
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Are you a Dragonball character?

Cause you went super slayin'
📅︎ Nov 19
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If you were a swisher

I'd lick you till my lips went numb (Only stoners are gonna get this one)
📅︎ Oct 14
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I just had a cashier ask me for my number

I felt like sharing this because I just had a cashier ask me for my number today. It was cringe. So I went to the grocery store today to buy some Gatorade. Went to the cash and I pulled out my phone to answer a text. This is how it went. She asked "Does your phone work?" I answered "Yes." She replied "You should call me to check if it still works" I said "I'll pay with credit...."
👤︎ u/Trucknessa
📅︎ Feb 03
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Right so I have no clue how to talk to girls

Just to give you a clarification on how shit I am at talking to girls at prom once this girl I was friends with wore this long and wide red dress that fell behind her and I said to her “you look lovely, you look like a very beautiful jabba” she didn’t know what that was and as if that wasn’t a godsend enough that she didn’t know and that a higher power wasn’t telling me to just end on your beautiful I then proceeded to say “umm you look like a very pretty slug” right so now everything’s cleared up that’s not even the worst thing I’ve ever said to a girl the only reason I actually have any girls who are friends is because once at a party I was drunk and I said I was gay, I’m not but the next day at college all the girls were putting me cause all the roadmen were Fucking getting a right laugh out of it then they all got suspended then all the girls started talking to me so I just went along with it Right so now that rabbit hole is impossible to get out of so I’m bisexual according to everyone but me, I don’t know how to Fucking be a human being for more than three minutes HELP
📅︎ Jul 01
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Yesterday I grabbed coffee with an older women ..

She sat and I asked what she wanted before going to the counter to order, she said double double (Canadian for two cream two sugar) so I went and ordered then brought back our drinks. I gave her the coffee and said "I didn't add any sugar because you're already sweet enough". She looked at me and said "shut the fuck up". My mom didn't find it funny, but the girl at the table next to me did. We now have a lunch date this afternoon. TL;DR Used pick up line on my mom, now have a date with a cute girl
📅︎ Apr 11
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That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
👤︎ u/Osborne26
📅︎ Jan 29
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