Differ Pick up lines

The best Differ pick up lines

What's the difference between you and a a Toaster?

I wouldn't put my dick in a toaster
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Belugaboy_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16
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What’s the difference between you and a pair of glasses?

My glasses would sit a bit higher on my face...
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Apprehensivepickle12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15
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You know the difference between a pretty girl like yourself and a pair of sunglasses?

Sunglasses sit a little higher on my face
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vizzlemynizzle69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02
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Hey girl, what's the difference between the pace of a conversation and sex?

How about we go over to your place, and talk about it...
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Much-Finance2568
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14
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What's the difference between you and the brakes on this car?

I already slammed the brakes on this car today.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mitcheson555
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07
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What's the difference between a boner and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WizeTurtle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20
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Want to know the difference between my couch and I?

My couch pulls out
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chuckle5611
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20
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What's the difference between a beautiful girl like you and sunglasses

The sunglasses sit a little higher.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EviL-FeaR
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04
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Do you know the difference between choking and strangling?

You’re choked by something in your throat, and strangled by something around your throat. I can do both if you’re interested.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SharpestofCheddars
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24
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What's the difference between me and my couch ?

.. my couch pulls out.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VivDso69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24
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What’s the difference between you and high school?

I’ve already been in high school
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tapperlevi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23
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Hey girl, what’s the difference between you and snow?

I don’t wanna plow snow all winter long
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Choohie_Thief
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23
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Hey girl, what’s the difference between you and a vacuum cleaner?

A vacuum cleaner doesn’t scream when I stick my dick in it.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AfricaToto93
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16
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Do you know the difference between sex and conversation?

No? Then do you wanna come over and talk for a while
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/___Applesauce___
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12
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Hey girl wanna know the difference between you and abstract art?

Abstract actually has a reason to look bad, hot damn.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuperSpooker1337
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01
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You know whatβ€˜s the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls out.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolinator53
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02
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Hey, do you know the difference between a ferrari and an erection?

I don't have a ferrari.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Samir0927
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20
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Ay girl, wanna know the difference between you and the rain?

I don't mind you falling on my head
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dane_Gilly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19
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Wanna know the difference between a golf ball and your cervix? I can’t hit a golf ball for shit.

Or would it be better if I said Gspot. I’m wanna use this one. Probably on tinder first.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/magesticrhinoceros
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26
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Whats the difference between you and my glasses?

My glasses sit higher on my face
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cargold22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17
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What are the differences between you and a 6 year old?

I’d rather kidnap you.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Xenevious
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31
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What's the difference between you and coronavirus?

Nothing, you're both absolutely breathtaking
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlfieHenderson26
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11
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What's the difference between you and an alarm clock?

I don't mind when I'm in bed and you go off next to me.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BOATSANDHOEZ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03
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You remind me of my pinky toe

Because you're short, cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my house >>Check back tomorrow for r/pickuplines’ daily repost post. The same shit, different day!
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DailyRepostPost
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21
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What’s the similarity and difference between you and a pillow?

The similarity is that I wanna see you both in my bed, the difference is that I wanna see you without your case
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lemoonpai
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10
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whats the difference of an erection and a ferrari

i dont have a ferrari
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FazeJherssy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12
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What’s the difference between you and an alarm clock?

I’d enjoy waking up to you
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cmoneyhackdog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27
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You know the difference between an attractive girl like you and a melon?

I don't mind getting your juices all over me - Day 79
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/suyashve
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25
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What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a boner?

I don’t have a Ferrari.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fanaway7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12
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The lockdown and I are very different.

Unlike the lockdown, I'll stay with you forever.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anonymous_2K20
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16
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What's the difference between you and work?

I wouldn't enjoy coming into work tomorrow.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Penmer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20
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I mean I used this one multiple times on different girls and it could be used on anyone

Hey, I just woke up and I wanted the first person I talked to, to be beautiful
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OffsideGull1449
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18
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[/r/pickuplines] What's The Difference Between A Ferrari And An Erection?

I Don't Have A Ferrari!
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/violator187
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18
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There’s a difference between you and US us government

The government will shoot me for trying to get inside private areas
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billy-joels-dad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10
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I like my women like I like my whiskey

12 years old and mixed up with coke. Just Jokes btw... maybe there’s a different sub for these kind of jokes that I’m not aware of though.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Canyouplzstop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24
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You really looked towards me differently... have you lost something?

Because I am lost in you.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GustavoM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06
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What's the difference between you and a snow bank?

I wouldn't enjoy plowing the snow bank.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SpookyRecoil
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29
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What's the difference between you and a Hotdog?

I don't wanna fuck a hotdog ;)
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnTony4000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23
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Hey girl , whats the difference between you and a curtain

I would use the curtain to hide the light But i will use to light me up instead.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/saif5165
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30
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Is your Path difference 2Ξ»?

Cause you brighten up my day every time we interact.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nanofatty22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10
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What's the difference between you and Facebook?

You don't have all my information yet
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SkeletonOfPuns
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04
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I know I'm bad at school but if you were the topic well that is a different story.

Iam bad in ENGLISH but I can tell you that I LOVE YOU.I am bad in GEOGRAPHY but I can tell you that you LIVE in my HEART.I am bad in HISTORY but I can REMEMBER the FIRST TIME saw you.I am bad in CHEMISTRY but I can tell you my REACTION when you SMILE.I am bad in PHYSICS butI can tell the INTENSITY the SPARKS of my EYES give, when they SEE you.I am bad in every SUBJECT but I can TELL ALL.I will PASS all SUBJECTS if the TOPIC is YOU!
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheShadowMonrch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16
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Whats the difference boobies and toys

Both start out for babies but end up being for daddys
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZachandhisCat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26
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Geared towards Potterheads

Meet me in the Shrieking Shack and I'll show you the difference between a Hufflepuff and a HufflefucksYourBrainsOut
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DwDick
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19
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I know "Good Morning" in 5 different languages

Which do you want to hear tomorrow ?
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoJus11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31
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What’s the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls out.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/therealishone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18
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What’s the difference between me and a black hole?

We both suck but I swallow
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dorthraki
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11
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Wanna know the difference between me and a delicious tide pod?

You won’t die when I bust in your mouth
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Joeman783
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28
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You know the difference between conversation and sex?

Well we can go back to my place and talk
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mightymemegrt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05
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What's the difference between an owl and me?

An owl says 'who, who,' but I say 'you, you!'
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aiden_saxon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22
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Wanna know what the difference between me and my couch?

My couch actually pulls out.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jwalk131920
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07
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The difference between you and your homework

I never planned upon doing your homework
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ankit15
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26
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This place is packed!

But as long as I’ve got a face, you’ve got somewhere to sit!! You can switch this up many different ways I’ve done it quite a few times. Like are you tired? Well.... or just flat out hey girl as long as I got a face.... it’s honestly only legit worked once if just hooking up is the goal. Another time it worked was with a girl I dated for a bit and am actually good friends with now haha
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theshua253
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22
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The only difference between you and the girl of my dreams:

You're real.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Scorched_flame
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16
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Hey hun, do you know the difference between a Big Mac and a blow job?

Hey hun, do you know the difference between a Big Mac and a blow job? No? You want to go to lunch tomorrow?
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MikeMcK83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21
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Girl, are you a newspaper?

Coz there is a different issue with you every fucking day
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/klatkasalowa5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02
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Do you know what the difference between you and a pickup line is?

I won't forget a pickup line after I use it.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NotRandomness
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30
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What's the difference between you and a dry road?

A dry road isn't getting plowed tonight
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GOPJ1
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29
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What's the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my dick up your ass.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FriedBrycee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05
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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a boner?

I don't have a Ferrari right now.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brentsinger88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29
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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?

I can't peanut butter my dick in your ass
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PopsicleMonsterEater
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09
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What's the difference between a boner and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini right now
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MochaGoddess66
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02
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You and your sister are like live and live...

Because I can't tell the difference between you two
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zapyman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20
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How to Accelerate your results in Game? (Part 2/2)

The final paradigm that will EXPLODE YOUR RESULTS The normal consensus in the community is that Game is hard thing to do, we must struggle and push through to get the girl. You have a belief about it being hard! Guess what it becomes a self-fulling prophecy... You have limiting beliefs about this stuff, and you don't believe in yourself. You think you're not good enough. Because of that you create the hard reality for yourself where you must use all the lines and techniques in the book to be able to get a girl interested in you. This happens because you see yourself as "NOT WORTHY" You have to get all these techniques and lines right so you can finally be at her level. The third paradigm I am talking about is to see yourself as GOOD ENOUGH! This will make that all the interactions improve and your RESULTS WILL SKYROCKET When you start seeing yourself as good enough all the interactions and "text game" will be different. You will become WOMEN MAGNET You are basically coming from a place of accepting yourself and girls will CHASE LIKE CRAZY. The place where you are coming from is just chill back, relaxed it does not really matter if the girl likes you or not. This removes that neediness vibe that repels so many women. In order to achieve this last step start asking yourself all these questions: Why am i trying to get every girl? Why am i trying to win them over? Why does it have to be so hard? Why am i trying to prove myself to other people? Why do i want so bad the validation of sleeping with a girl? MOST IMPORTANT ONE: Why do i hate myself? You're MIND will try to make you AVOID all the REAL ANSWERS to this questions to protect your EGO but if you're able to go deep into your subconscious mind and REALLY HONESTLY answer to these questions you will finally find an HUGE OPPORTUNITY to take the first step to finally ACCEPT YOURSELF FULLY and SKYROCKET YOUR RESULTS. BTW if you want to go deep into YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND and ask this uncomfortable questions this quarantine is the PERFECT OPPORTUNITY to do so If you have the GUTS to do so let me know in the comment section below πŸ‘‡ what answers came up Peace 😘
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/barrocasdiogo
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02
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Girl, are you a state border?

Because your buttcheeks are in different time zones
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BirdmanTheBirb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02
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DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR INNER BELIEFS?

This is not a process that comes in one day. This is how I went about it. One thing you must do is to be constantly learning. Watch and follow different people and coaches and try to take and adapt the information to your specific situation. You must be always questioning what they are saying donΒ΄t just accept what they say at face value. Even experts have their own blind spots!! While I was gaming, I was following different people with different approaches, then question those approaches and take my own conclusions. So how did I shift my paradigm? I was always curious. You reinforce the paradigm you are in when you do it over and over again, and that happens because you do not question it. For me it was always about questioning. When I saw other behaviors, I asked: β€œWhere am I doing that?" "Where am I acting like that?” It is easier to watch others and see where they are fucking up but much harder to be self-aware and see where you are fucking up. Until you bring it to your awareness!! Being curious about your own mindset, your own thoughts, your own emotions. Ask β€œwhy should I feel like this or why I assume this is normal. Is there a way to see myself that is better? I Was always questioning myself and pushing. DonΒ΄t assume what you are doing is the right thing, and that what you are doing is the best you can do. Always question it. Is what I am doing the best thing I could be doing? What alternatives are there? What reality am I assuming to be true? For example, there is the belief that game is painful and hard. Is it really? Or is what you are doing, and your perception that gives you that idea? Maybe if you shift your perception this can help you perceive it has fun. You can see rejection has a negative outcome of the interaction. Or you can see has you are playing a video game and you went up one experience point in your journey and your character is becoming stronger each interaction you go in. Instead of just thinking what β€œdid I do wrong. I am so stupid”. You can think β€œwhat was fun in this interaction?” Shifting your perception can help you change your beliefs about yourself and what you are doing. Are you always questioning yourself: β€œWHY AM I DOING THIS?” A great and enlightening exercise is to Ask why I am doing this and go to the bottom of it- ask β€œWHY” several times in a row (at least 5 times) until you reach the deepest why. After asking these questions constantly after some time I realized that one of the main reasons I was gaming was that I was looking for validation from woman and the man in the community. I realized I was in for the wrong reasons and I was not really enjoying the process. Even when I got laid, I was not enjoying it, I was elsewhere, thinking I was getting another lay count. When I started to question those things, I stopped looking for validation. Once you realize this and let go of it, your Game starts improving. You become less worried about the outcomes of the interaction and what other people will think. Women start feeling it that you are more present, and less needy. What happens is that you feel less the need to try to control the outcome and you are carefree of it. The more you release of the need to try to control everything the better are your results. Seems counter intuitive but it is what I experienced. Because you are not good enough you think you always must keep talking. You’re afraid she is going to go away. If you get rid of that fear, do what you feel like doing. Paradoxically that is what is going to get you laid more. You must start being aware of your thoughts and how you feel, then you must start thinking that you are good enough. This comes with time while taking action and getting better, your confidence will improve, and your beliefs will shift. When you believe that you are good enough and lose the need to try and control the outcomes is when you have more control and you EXPLODE your results. Hope it was helpful Peace 😘
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/barrocasdiogo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07
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What's the difference between you and an angel?

One's really beautiful and came down to earth from heaven. The other's an angel.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tlst9999
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12
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WANT TO STOP FEELING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF? FEELING NERVOUS OR ANXIOUS?

Probably right now you might be in a place you do not like, and you are using escapism actions to face that. For some it will be playing video games, watching porn, eating junk food…you better than anyone know what you are doing to escape certain feelings. The question is: What are you using as an escape to avoid feeling bad about yourself? To break that pattern is not easy there are no magic pills, it is a constant work in progress. First, start thinking more about your goals. Create clear reasons to do all of them. Pitch your perfect life, pitch the perfect version of yourself, the one where you are good enough, ready for everything. Then start asking yourself what's the difference between the person you are right now and the person you want to be. What are you lacking? What goals should you accomplish in order to be that person and start writing them down. Have measurable goals so you can check on your progress. Then ask yourself from the person I am today how can I get to that person I imagine? What skills do I need to get? At the same time start by getting to know yourself better. Bring your pains into your awareness. Why do I feel this in this moment? Go deeper. What is triggering me to feel in a certain state? Why do I feel this way? Ask yourself several times this question why, why and why? Identify the moments you react disproportionality to the situation like feeling anxious to approach and other stress states. Check what triggers you. Identify the sensation and the thought that is coming up and then ask what the other situations were where you had this kind of sensations. What was the previous time that you felt that? And before that time when did you feel that? Until you find when was the first time you felt the exact fear that you are feeling right now. Try to meditate everyday: Think about what are you escaping. Think about the sensation that you feel, when you feel bad. When was the previous time that you were feeling this too? Breath into the sensations that are provoking your escapism. Accept them and let them go. You need to do this every day and have no expectations of when this will work and make the feeling go away. There are only benefits from doing it. Then use the following breathing exercise when you are feeling this: 6 seconds breathe in, 3 seconds hold, 6 seconds exhale doing β€œshhh” sound and letting go of the feeling, 3 seconds hold and again. Hope this is helpful for you to apply during this quarantine times Peace out 😘
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/barrocasdiogo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13
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are you a freight train

cause you hit different
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/umhum29
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10
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What's the difference between you and a Ferrari?

I don't want a Ferrari. (drop time of panties may vary)
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/f15h80wl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28
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Are you a PokΓ©mon trainer?

Cuz even though we're so different, you still captured my heart
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MtxJosh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10
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Hey what's the difference..

Hey what's the difference between my dick and a chicken wing? "What?" Wanna go on a picnic and find out ;)
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HoughJass
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12
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What's the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?

I don't have a Ferrari.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hhgriso120
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16
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Are you my best friend?

Because I really like you a lot and I don't know how to tell you and Everytime I try to flirt with you you just brush it off laugh and tell me I'm so stupid when all I wanna do is cradle you in my arms as we travel to different places and eventually settle down and build a family together cause I wanna show you off to my family and you keep talking to all these boys that mistreat you
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yourfellowbrokeboi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22
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Are you a major thirteenth chord?

Because I can think of seven different positions I'd put you in.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Metroid413
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14
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I'm a man of many tongues...

So I live in a community made artificially multicultural. All kinds of curious creatures with curious ears, tongues and orifices. It's quite common to try to establish common tongues. Often in an encounter the first thing you'll ask is where are you from or you'll step up the game and try to predict it up front. French, German, Romanian, Polish, Spanish, Italian, etc. I've tried learning these and I pick them up very quickly when I try but get bored. Different ways of saying the same thing. Dressing up the same thing differently. Best pickup line for me? It's not oh I know a bit of Spanish or Italian. It's I suck and blow at speaking different languages. I only know two or three. English, Cunnilingus and a bit of Anilingus, I never beat around the bush, I'm always in beating in the bush. Either works every time or it was never meant to happen.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dogkindrepresent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08
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What's the weirdes pick-up line you've ever used that succeeded?

What's the weirdes pick-up line you've ever used that succeeded? I'll go first; ''What's the difference between you and an armadillo? I didn't jerk off to an armadillo five minutes ago.''
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ivy_league33
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20
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Best "fun fact about yourself" pickup line?

ex: "I'm fluent in six different languages, and a compulsive liar."
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brizlbub
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14
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That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say β€œhey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Osborne26
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29
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