Etc. Pick up lines

Damn girl(name) you are fine. My only wish is you are mine.

Anthing extremely dirty, savage, vanilla, cleaver, stupid....etc. just go wild

I have created the perfect formula for helping my guy friends pick up chicks in bars. Men, all you need is one female friend or buddy’s girlfriend (let’s call her Hannah) to help and the hot chick you want to meet needs to be at the bar. Step 1: Hannah goes up to bar next to the hot chick you want to pick up. Step 2: Hannah compliments the hot chick on literally anything (“omg I love your hair color who is your stylist?” “wow that jacket is awesome, where can I find one” etc.). We all love talking to chicks who say nice things about us. Step 3: While Hannah is chatting up hot girl on her right, you are buying three shots on her left. Step 4: You offer a shot to Hannah while she is still chatting up hot chick. Step 5: Hannah (loudly) claims she can’t find her boyfriend who the third shot was purchased for. Since Hannah and hot chick are now BFFs, she turns to hot chick and says the following “My friend Jake here bought my boyfriend and I a shot but we can’t find him anywhere, do you want to take it with us?” Introduce yourself. Offer hot girl the shot. Emphasize that Hannah’s boyfriend disappeared, etc. Step 6: Hot girl ALWAYS says yes because hot girls at bars love free shots. Step 7: Hannah takes a shot. Tells Lexi (all hot girls are named Lexi) it was nice to meet her, and dips out. You are left chatting up Lexi, buy her a drink, drunkenly make out with her in a corner after 2 hours, etc.p Why does this work? 1. When Hannah compliments Lexi (aka hot chick), Lexi automatically likes Hannah and sees that she’s totally normal and super nice. 2. By you being friends with Hannah, it makes you seem like a regular cool guy and you must be great if you have such cool female friends. 3. Because you’re buying shots, you also seem like a pretty cool dude. Everyone loves the guy who buys people shots. 4. And most importantly, because Hannah lies about her boyfriend being in the bathroom or wherever, hot chick knows you two aren’t hooking and that Hannah is not a threat. Hannah wins because she gets a free shot. Lexi wins because she gets a free shot and gets to meet a cool person like yourself. You win because awesome hot chicks like us let you buy us shots. Go forth and conquer, my friends.

If I were a superhero, what would I be? (Spiderman, Superman, etc.,) No I would be YOURMAN

So I live in a community made artificially multicultural. All kinds of curious creatures with curious ears, tongues and orifices. It's quite common to try to establish common tongues. Often in an encounter the first thing you'll ask is where are you from or you'll step up the game and try to predict it up front. French, German, Romanian, Polish, Spanish, Italian, etc. I've tried learning these and I pick them up very quickly when I try but get bored. Different ways of saying the same thing. Dressing up the same thing differently. Best pickup line for me? It's not oh I know a bit of Spanish or Italian. It's I suck and blow at speaking different languages. I only know two or three. English, Cunnilingus and a bit of Anilingus, I never beat around the bush, I'm always in beating in the bush. Either works every time or it was never meant to happen.

Anything is welcome (cheesy, inappropriate, romantic, etc.) as long as it's not mean.

Did you know the mirror of Erised at Hogwarts shows not your face but what your heart desires. If I were to stand in front of it right now, it would show us, holding hands... (Or kissing, or making out, etc. Use as per the situation and the person in front of you)

I'm headed to NYC in about 1.5 months, and I'm excited to meet some people. Give me your pickup lines and help me out! These don't have to be NYC related pickup lines -- anything goes (sexual, funny, borderline retarded, awkward, etc.). I'll report back with results...maybe even pictures of those I meet if all goes well!?