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What to actually say when approaching somebody

A lot of guys say “I don’t know what to say when I approach a woman,” so I decided to write this article with some tips. The thing women are most attracted to is an adventure, and a fun conversation should be an adventure where you and her are tackling a difficult, interesting, and fun subject, with you in the lead. The “value” you provide her is your leadership in the conversation, and the value she provides is that she contributes to the fun of the conversation. Your goal, therefore, is to get the conversation to a point where it is fun and interesting before she loses interest and becomes bored. To do this you must “hook” her with an opener, and then you can hopefully get the conversation to a point where you are talking about deep, fun, interesting stuff as quick as possible. **Openers** A compliment is a great opener because it implies that she has already done something to contribute to your emotional experience. You can say “Hey, you look fucking amazing” or “Hey you look fucking hot” or “Hey, I love your shoes, backpack, hair, etc…” or “I fucking love your energy and aura.” If she reacts with interest, you can follow it up with “What’s your name” or something like “You are hot, but are you nice/cool/etc…?” If a girl is having a great time and exuding joy and positivity, I will make that the basis of my compliment and say something like “You look like you are having the most fun of any person here” or “Damn, I love how you came to turn the fuck up tonight” or “Thanks for coming. This party is so much better because of you.” I can already hear you dorks squealing “you can’t tell a girl she looks hot! You will look needy, creepy, etc…” Wrong. As you will learn, creepiness is when you do more for a woman than she has done for you or than she deserves. If a girl spends a bunch of time doing her hair and makeup before she goes out and you tell her that she looks great, you are doing the right amount for her. If, however, you tell her she looks hot and she brushes you off, and then you hang around staring at her with your tongue out, THEN you look creepy. A simple and effective opener is to introduce yourself. “Hi, my name is X. What’s yours?” This is good for more formal situations where you can’t go around telling girls they look fucking hot. If you are in a party or something where everybody knows each other, you should introduce yourself to every single girl there as a matter of course. You can also keep it simple and go with “Hey, how are you?” or “What’s going on with you?” or “Hey, what’s up?” Because these statements have relatively low emotional impact, you need to deliver them with extra intensity. If a woman is mid-conversation with somebody else, you can butt in and say “Hey I’m really sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to say you look fucking amazing.” If there is a group, you can hand out compliments to the entire group, but you should quickly settle on one woman and make it clear to everybody that she is your target. If you want to get a little spicy, you can try the following: “Sorry for interrupting, but you are too hot for this place.” If you want to get extra extra spicy, you can say “you are too hot for these guys you are with.” If the girl is clearly too good for the guys she is with and is clearly unhappy with them, this can work. Otherwise, it is risky. “So, what’s your deal?” (with a sly grin) “Congratulations, what’s it like to be the hottest girl in this club?” If you have a friend with you, a very effective approach is to go up to the girls and introduce them to your friends. For some reason, this technique has been very effective for me, and I am not sure why. It might be because I am immediately giving my friend social proof in front of the women, or maybe it is because my friend does not look needy because he is technically not the one doing the approach. For whatever reason, it works. Many men approach women and immediately lose confidence or their mind goes blank. To prevent yourself from doing this, I suggest at least one follow up line to keep the conversation going. “Where were you before this?” or “What have you been up to tonight?” “What did you do today?” (This one sounds weird but it is actually very effective. Everybody is thinking about what they did that day, and it sounds like something you would hear from somebody you were close with). “What brings you here tonight?” “Have you been here before?” “Are you having a fun night?” “How do you guys know each other?” (when there are two people) For your second line, you can also use one of your other openers. For example, if you open with “hey my name is” your second line can be “you look fucking hot.” If you think those lines are corny and you think you can do better, then fuck off and think of your own. Remember, these scripted lines are back-up plans for when you cannot think of anything else. It is always better to be in the moment. What you say doesn’t matter as much as how you say it. **Deep conversation subjects** Ideally, your goal should be to get the conversation as deep as possible as quickly as possible. The purpose is for you and her to go on an adventure and “conquer” the difficult question. Here are some go-to questions I use, including my answers for these questions. What is the craziest thing you believe? (My answer: I believe in mind reading) Do you believe in ghosts? Aliens? (My answer: I am open to anything being true) What is your favorite conspiracy theory? (My answer: That Paul McCartney died in a car accident in the 60s and the current Paul McCartney is an imposter) What do you think a dream is? (My answer: a dream if your subconscious brain trying to help you solve a problem) If you could be any celebrity, who would you be? What is your idea of a perfect day? (Wake up, get high, go surfing, drink some cappuccino, have a delicious meal, fuck somebody I like) What do you think love is? (My answer: when you commit to doing the best thing for the other person, no matter what ‘the best’ is) What do you think a true friend is? (My answer: somebody who will be there for you at 3 AM). What superpower would you have if you could have any? (My answer: flying) What would you do if you had all the money in the world (My answer: buy myself an island and help poor people) What are you reading now? (My answer: whatever I am reading at that time). Other good subjects are drug stories, stories about times you did something really stupid, uplifting stories about a time when somebody was a good friend, and stories about a time you were really scared/embarrassed/uplifted/excited. Basically, any strong emotion. Because these subjects are deep, sometimes controversial, and require vulnerability, please make sure you do not say anything rude or judgmental. If you ask somebody what the craziest thing they believe is, and then you make fun of them for it after they do it, they will not open up to you again. Most people refrain from talking about subjects like this for the very reason that they are afraid of being judged. You want her to feel comfortable, open, and vulnerability. You might say “these are pretty serious subjects to bring up to a woman.” You are right – you have to find a way to talk about this stuff in a light-hearted, fun way. Take away the stigma and pressure off of these subjects and make her feel like there is no “wrong” answer and you are both there to have fun, not for anybody to “win” or make the other person feel bad. The purpose of these questions is to spark a deep, interesting conversation that touches people’s emotions: their desires, their fears, their values, etc… **Topics to Stay Away From** Stay away from anything relating to politics or religion if it something that you and her will inevitably disagree on. Also stay away from boring subjects like “what is your favorite movie or album”? That stuff is actually much less interesting and deep than people think. Stay away from exes. Stay away from subjects that could be interpreted as creepy – if you are interested in famous rapists or serial killers, you may want to keep that to yourself until you guys know each other very well.
👤︎ u/Woujo
📅︎ Dec 22
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Hey girl, are you my homework?

Because you're probably really really good for me and it would be a good idea for me to try and persue you in hopes of self improvement but I'm just lying here thinking about it instead of actually fucking doing anything about it and it's making me feel horrible about myself. Perhaps I don't even deserve the benefits and emotional confidence I'd have earned from you had I just engaged and tried to be a better person. I'm going to die alone, dreaming of the life I could have had, had I just learned to act, rather than dream. Also uhhh because I should be slamming you on my desk and doing you all night hehehehehehehehehe. You don't have to answer. Good Night
👤︎ u/Pheww_
📅︎ Jan 18
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I'm learning about the important dates in history...

Wanna be one of them?
👤︎ u/suyashve
📅︎ Jun 17
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My domains must be aligned

cause im attracted to you (were learning about magnets and electromagnetism in class so sorry)
👤︎ u/morshmallow
📅︎ Jan 15
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I’m learning about important dates in history,

Wanna be one of them?
👤︎ u/AlsetLight
📅︎ Mar 25
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I am currently learning bass guitar and I need to get better at fingering

Can I practice with you?
👤︎ u/Tshibitama
📅︎ Feb 24
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Are you antidisestablishmentarianism?

Because I don't know anything you but I would like to learn
📅︎ Jul 07
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Hey girl, are you the complex geopolitical relationship between Israel and Palestine?

Because I’d love to learn a bit more about you
📅︎ Jun 15
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Want to know how I went from Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time?

Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was … \[21:35, 13/04/2020\] Barrocas: Want to know how I went from Loser Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time? Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was just like a gay friend. Eventually I met a girl through a coworker. This was the first girl that actually got an interest in me. I even got her number. I would wait desperately when it was her turn to text me back or freak out when she didn´t reply immediately. When she replied I had seen on internet that i should not reply right away but I was really tempted and desperate. I eventually fucked that up. I got needy and she stopped replying. Since that moment I really got pissed! I got really frustrated so I decided I had to change something otherwise I would stay in this road FOREVER! I decided to start going out by myself. First started watching some videos and i thought what I was seeing there was way out of my reality. (I was watching just random videos of pranks and then I find out that they were all these videos about "game".) Couldn't believe what i was seeing in these videos. No way that was real! Lol I went out and I first tried to talk to girls but was too hard and way to out of my comfort zone. This is where a lot of guys go WRONG and just give up. Instead I decided to accept that I sucked, and went very small. Started by asking random simple things to people like going to old people and ask for directions or the time. I just wanted to be building up over time 1% every day. During my beginnings I had a lot of friends telling me to go to hookers and I told them to F\*\* off, “I am going to show you I can do it on my own”. Eventually, because I was going out by myself and pushing my limits, over time I started talking to girls. (that got me in some really funny stories like being arrested by the police but that is for another time 🤣) Finally after 5 months of going out i lost my virginity with a girl i approached in my town!! After 6 months found the Game community in Lisbon and met some guys I could go out with. After some time i started to get some more sporadic results and other close calls. Built my way up in the community and started organizing seminar in hotels and doing public speaking, giving value to the community. 2 years in finally found a real life mentor Dhurba Shrestha. He is what we call a "Natural" We went out for all full summer. We had a lot threesomes and gangbangs and even failed a couple of foursomes. We had a lot of fun! I learned a lot by going out with him and observing him. Became way more relaxed and natural than I was before. Now i look back and think how gamey I was. I talk way less and the impact of my words is way more powerful. Today when I say “Hi” it has the same impact has a huge opener. He really helped me go to the next level way quicker. I never thought I could have gang bangs…and girls actually love it!! The main thing that I learned from it was to not to be so possessive over a girl. To be able to share with another guy you must let go of that feeling of possession ( emotional attachment). So to finish off, You might think that right now you suck at talking to girls and it is difficult and hard But don't give up!! If you can't find help and you are by yourself and approaching girls is too hard for you.. Start with baby stepping!! Start talking to old people like I did and then build from there.. Slowly with time and pushing yourself a bit everyday you will start talking to girls Despite what i said previously, ideally you should not try this by yourself of course. Look for other wings to go out with, to motivate you or find someone better than you that is willing to mentor you or exchange some value so you can be around them and learn from them. Hope it was helpful Peace out 😘
📅︎ Apr 14
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Do you want to know how YOU can be less needy when talking to girls?

How can YOU be more relaxed when talking to girls? (Part 1 /2) When guys start learning game, they have the need to approach a lot and cannot relax. Because they are in their head thinking of the next move, they cannot see the signs of the women. When they approach girls start breeding fast and girls can sense that. They cannot slow down and let go of that tension. One of the key points and that can make a change in your game is to learn to relax (this comes as well with experience and self-awareness). Be aware of how you breed during the interaction and calm down, try to talk slower, you will see it will bring her attraction up. Most guys think that a good player will have all the interactions working great, but this is not the reality, you must accept the fact there is a percentage of approaches that are not fully under your control. For me the biggest change came when I started to let go of trying to control every interaction. The tension comes because you have an agenda behind your approach and its in your head during the all interaction. I am not saying you should not have a plan but don't act like you need something from her. You must feel that you could walk away at any time and you would not be affected by it. Also, I used to think in each interaction there was someone holding a frame. Whoever had the strongest frame was winning the interaction right? NO! There is an ultimate one THE COLLABORATIVE FRAME! Before that I used to go into frame battles trying desperately to win. You think she is shit testing you, she is trying to make you prove yourself. There is another way of perceiving this. Start thinking that everyone is your friend, everyone is on your team. From this place there is NO FRAME battle. There is NOTHING to WIN because there is NOTHING to COMPETE against. If you go into that collaborative frame, then another reality opens to you. Interactions become easy and effortless. You finally can actually relax and enjoy not only more and better results but the entire PROCESS itself. In summary: Learn to relax, talk slower. Accept that Success on approaching is fully under your control. Enjoy the interaction instead of focusing on the outcome but at the same time always keep moving things forward. See the interaction from a Collaborative frame and not COMPETITIVE. DON'T MISS PART 2 ON MY NEXT POST! Hope it was helpful See you on the next one 🤫
📅︎ Apr 27
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Damn you make me want to become a musician

That way I can learn to play your heartstrings
👤︎ u/JBroGamer
📅︎ May 24
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How would you like to come back to my place and...

grow to tolerate me out of desperation to avoid loneliness just long enough to pick up some of my mannerisms, which will spend 2 to 7 years occasionally frustrating you out of the blue - forcing you to briefly relive some memory of me - while you slowly learn to unprogram them from your everyday use, gradually forgetting me like the world forgets us all?
👤︎ u/IDZro
📅︎ Apr 08
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Hey girl are you my homework?

Because I would like to learn and understand you better before I do you
👤︎ u/skyfucker6
📅︎ Feb 06
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Hey Girl are you a NewPaper

Because There is a new thing I learn from you every single day
📅︎ Dec 19
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DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR INNER BELIEFS?

This is not a process that comes in one day. This is how I went about it. One thing you must do is to be constantly learning. Watch and follow different people and coaches and try to take and adapt the information to your specific situation. You must be always questioning what they are saying don´t just accept what they say at face value. Even experts have their own blind spots!! While I was gaming, I was following different people with different approaches, then question those approaches and take my own conclusions. So how did I shift my paradigm? I was always curious. You reinforce the paradigm you are in when you do it over and over again, and that happens because you do not question it. For me it was always about questioning. When I saw other behaviors, I asked: “Where am I doing that?" "Where am I acting like that?” It is easier to watch others and see where they are fucking up but much harder to be self-aware and see where you are fucking up. Until you bring it to your awareness!! Being curious about your own mindset, your own thoughts, your own emotions. Ask “why should I feel like this or why I assume this is normal. Is there a way to see myself that is better? I Was always questioning myself and pushing. Don´t assume what you are doing is the right thing, and that what you are doing is the best you can do. Always question it. Is what I am doing the best thing I could be doing? What alternatives are there? What reality am I assuming to be true? For example, there is the belief that game is painful and hard. Is it really? Or is what you are doing, and your perception that gives you that idea? Maybe if you shift your perception this can help you perceive it has fun. You can see rejection has a negative outcome of the interaction. Or you can see has you are playing a video game and you went up one experience point in your journey and your character is becoming stronger each interaction you go in. Instead of just thinking what “did I do wrong. I am so stupid”. You can think “what was fun in this interaction?” Shifting your perception can help you change your beliefs about yourself and what you are doing. Are you always questioning yourself: “WHY AM I DOING THIS?” A great and enlightening exercise is to Ask why I am doing this and go to the bottom of it- ask “WHY” several times in a row (at least 5 times) until you reach the deepest why. After asking these questions constantly after some time I realized that one of the main reasons I was gaming was that I was looking for validation from woman and the man in the community. I realized I was in for the wrong reasons and I was not really enjoying the process. Even when I got laid, I was not enjoying it, I was elsewhere, thinking I was getting another lay count. When I started to question those things, I stopped looking for validation. Once you realize this and let go of it, your Game starts improving. You become less worried about the outcomes of the interaction and what other people will think. Women start feeling it that you are more present, and less needy. What happens is that you feel less the need to try to control the outcome and you are carefree of it. The more you release of the need to try to control everything the better are your results. Seems counter intuitive but it is what I experienced. Because you are not good enough you think you always must keep talking. You’re afraid she is going to go away. If you get rid of that fear, do what you feel like doing. Paradoxically that is what is going to get you laid more. You must start being aware of your thoughts and how you feel, then you must start thinking that you are good enough. This comes with time while taking action and getting better, your confidence will improve, and your beliefs will shift. When you believe that you are good enough and lose the need to try and control the outcomes is when you have more control and you EXPLODE your results. Hope it was helpful Peace 😘
📅︎ Apr 07
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Any youtube channels that focus soley on "lines"?

Hi, I'm a fan of **Todd Valentine** and some RSD guys (**Max**, **Julien**, **Tyler**) and that Super Seducer guy. They give a good speech about general pick-up. But I've kind of heard enough theories from these guys. I want to learn some actual "lines" that could be so effective, seemingly not forced in nowadays pick-up scenes. That being said, lines should not be so cheesy, should be modernized ones that are able to bring chick's guard down. Any suggestions for youtube channels that specially deal with these practical "lines"? Please refrain from saying "Just go along with the situation." The thing is, English is my 2nd language. I have limits to come up with situational, flexible lines. So with that in mind Please help
👤︎ u/bsbnsc
📅︎ Jul 24
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Are you the off switch?

Because I want to learn how to turn you on
📅︎ May 24
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Do your clothes have a tangible equation associated with them?

Because I'd like to take the integral so I can learn more about the area underneath them.
👤︎ u/tomcat_96
📅︎ Nov 17
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I'm a man of many tongues...

So I live in a community made artificially multicultural. All kinds of curious creatures with curious ears, tongues and orifices. It's quite common to try to establish common tongues. Often in an encounter the first thing you'll ask is where are you from or you'll step up the game and try to predict it up front. French, German, Romanian, Polish, Spanish, Italian, etc. I've tried learning these and I pick them up very quickly when I try but get bored. Different ways of saying the same thing. Dressing up the same thing differently. Best pickup line for me? It's not oh I know a bit of Spanish or Italian. It's I suck and blow at speaking different languages. I only know two or three. English, Cunnilingus and a bit of Anilingus, I never beat around the bush, I'm always in beating in the bush. Either works every time or it was never meant to happen.
📅︎ Nov 08
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For use on people that don’t speak the same mother tongue as you

You: Can I correct your English? To help you learn Them: Yeah you can correct me. You: Then correct me if I say we have chemistry
👤︎ u/Jarboner69
📅︎ Dec 11
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