Onc Pick up lines

The best Onc pick up lines

Most guys would want to watch the world cup because it happens once in 4 years...

But I'd rather look at you because the chances of meeting someone like you is once in a lifetime.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/hafiy2003
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 29
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Hey are you a toaster?

Because a bath with you would send me straight to Heaven. This hasnโ€™t failed me once
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mooregray31
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 06
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Once a Chinese legend said:

ๅฆ‚ๆžœๆ‚จ็‚นๅ‡ป็ฟป่ฏ‘๏ผŒๆ‚จๅฟ…้กปๅ’Œๆˆ‘็บฆไผš Translation : If you Click Translate, You must date me
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/zlogonjepissa
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 24
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Once a Chinese legend said: ๅฆ‚ๆžœๆ‚จ็‚นๅ‡ป็ฟป่ฏ‘๏ผŒๆ‚จๅฟ…้กปๅ’Œๆˆ‘็บฆไผš

Translation : If you click Translate, you must date me
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/zlogonjepissa
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 24
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can you rate this direct message that i just used

hello would you like to talk about schrodinger's wave equation. i used this equation to determine that there's equal chances of you replying or not replying to this message, surely we will know the result once i hit the send button. that's the rule of quantum mechanics
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/KrustyDaBeastTv
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 18
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Do you like Santa well,

I can come/ cum down your chimney and give you all my presents at once
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kahootmaster1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 12
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Hey girl, are you a bright light source?

Cuz once I look at you, I see you everywhere everytime I close my eyes.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Forsaken_Argument
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 27
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A girl once told me about the โ€˜Dwayne Johnson Ruleโ€™.

The rule as she explained it, was that in order to determine if something is suitable to say to a female, you must first ask yourself: โ€œwould I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?โ€ โ€œSo Iโ€™m gunna use it here. You have an insane body!โ€
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ApexChutneyy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 20
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I was once asked if I had to choose between

Living happy for the rest of my life without find my true love, or find my true love without ever being happy. But the problem is I'll never be happy without you.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TreyLastname
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 06
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Do you know why you remind me of the Sun?

Youโ€™d look beautiful going down FOLLOWUP You know why i am not like the Sun? I go down more than once a day
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dat_Irresistable_Guy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 18
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Baby girl, are you the used car I crashed immediately after purchasing?

Because a lot of guys may have been inside you, but once you're mine, there won't be any others.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OneQuadrillionOwls
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 30
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A wise man once said โ€œTo end suffering means to end all desiresโ€

But Iโ€™m not sure I could do that with you on this planet
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dee-Pac-Man
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 01
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My grandma once told me im serious boyfriend material...

so you boutta call my grandma a liar, huh? I'll FIGHT anyone who calls my grandma a liar!
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Melophobe-IP
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 03
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Hey Girl, are you my phone by any chance?

Cause, damn girl even my dad wants to check you out once a day
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sarcasteruwu
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 17
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You smell nice, why are you married?

Said this to a girl once, now she's married to me instead and we have 2 amazing girls.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Fettmaster2000
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 12
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Hey girl,I am like AIDS

Cuz once i come i'm gonna stay forever
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/nirpesh69
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 24
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A long one about bunnies with a 0% success rate with a sample of 2.

Alright so this one is super long and super dumb but maybe itโ€™ll get you a laugh or a restraining order. Here we go: Once upon a time there was a bunny who got lost from her home. She wandered and wandered for hours and then she came across a black bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home. To that, the black bunny replied: โ€œsure, but youโ€™ve gotta make me happy first.โ€ So they fuck and then the black bunny, satisfied, points her towards the south. However, the poor bunny found herself lost again and continued to wander. But then she came across a white bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home and to that, the white bunny replied: โ€œsure, but youโ€™ve gotta make me happy first.โ€ So they fuck and then the white bunny, satisfied, points her towards the east. But the poor bunny found herself lost yet again and continued to wander until she came across a brown bunny. She asked him if he could show her the way home and to that, the brown bunny replied: โ€œsure, but youโ€™ve gotta make me happy first.โ€ The poor bunny is exhausted but she needs to get home so she obliged. They fuck and then the brown bunny, satisfied, points her towards the north. Finally, the bunny made her way home, but by the time she got back, she was pregnant and soon had babies. What color fur did her babies have? [person of interest throws out guesses as to what color the babies were and you tell them that all their answers are wrong.] When they give up and finally ask what color the babies are, hit em with: โ€œsure Iโ€™ll tell you but youโ€™ve gotta make me happy firstโ€.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rehab-detox
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 03
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You can just call me 2020

Bc I'm not going to stop sucking once I start
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/KawaiiSkank
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 01
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Are you a cup of tea?

Because I couldnt stand going through the day without having you once
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Parakeimenos
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 07
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i donโ€™t know how to say your last name

but once itโ€™s mine, itโ€™ll be easy
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Brandonesp15
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 18
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Warning, this one is dark

Somebody called my dick a shotgun once, and I wanted to ask if youโ€™d be my Kurt Cobain.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/GGingerton3
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 11
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This place is packed!

But as long as Iโ€™ve got a face, youโ€™ve got somewhere to sit!! You can switch this up many different ways Iโ€™ve done it quite a few times. Like are you tired? Well.... or just flat out hey girl as long as I got a face.... itโ€™s honestly only legit worked once if just hooking up is the goal. Another time it worked was with a girl I dated for a bit and am actually good friends with now haha
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/theshua253
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 22
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Instagram Flirting ๐Ÿ‘€

Once I got an Idea to hit pickup lines on Instagram. So I created anonymous account and gained some fake followers and then started DM with cheesy pickup lines. After many DMs a girl replied "Ankh se goli maar kr udda dungi๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜". But I didn't Stop to hit more pickups ๐Ÿ˜‚. But got blocked for 4 days and requested me by 'asking who are you ?' Again I hit 'Do you know me ?' She replied 'Kon hooo bhai' "Oh that's right, we've only met in my dreams" She : Aww that was cute ๐Ÿฅฐ ...But I have a boyfriend.. sorry Me : even goal has a goalkeeper but still we score She : ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚omg!!! Ima take that from you You should follow me so I can see your insta . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . And FU*K oucht
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mikepatell
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22
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I once took Alice to Wonderland...

I'd like to do the same to you.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Lazorcat23
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 23
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Are you a gym membership?

Cause I want to use you once and never again.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BobertSageet
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 04
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You only meet guys like me once in a lifetime

Because I ain't gonna call you afterwards
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jusuzippol
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 27
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Hey girl, I know we are in the middle of a pandemic and that the bodies are piling up around us

but just once before we all die lemme take you out before the coronavirus do
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/stankycarrot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 19
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This is not a process that comes in one day. This is how I went about it. One thing you must do is to be constantly learning. Watch and follow different people and coaches and try to take and adapt the information to your specific situation. You must be always questioning what they are saying donยดt just accept what they say at face value. Even experts have their own blind spots!! While I was gaming, I was following different people with different approaches, then question those approaches and take my own conclusions. So how did I shift my paradigm? I was always curious. You reinforce the paradigm you are in when you do it over and over again, and that happens because you do not question it. For me it was always about questioning. When I saw other behaviors, I asked: โ€œWhere am I doing that?" "Where am I acting like that?โ€ It is easier to watch others and see where they are fucking up but much harder to be self-aware and see where you are fucking up. Until you bring it to your awareness!! Being curious about your own mindset, your own thoughts, your own emotions. Ask โ€œwhy should I feel like this or why I assume this is normal. Is there a way to see myself that is better? I Was always questioning myself and pushing. Donยดt assume what you are doing is the right thing, and that what you are doing is the best you can do. Always question it. Is what I am doing the best thing I could be doing? What alternatives are there? What reality am I assuming to be true? For example, there is the belief that game is painful and hard. Is it really? Or is what you are doing, and your perception that gives you that idea? Maybe if you shift your perception this can help you perceive it has fun. You can see rejection has a negative outcome of the interaction. Or you can see has you are playing a video game and you went up one experience point in your journey and your character is becoming stronger each interaction you go in. Instead of just thinking what โ€œdid I do wrong. I am so stupidโ€. You can think โ€œwhat was fun in this interaction?โ€ Shifting your perception can help you change your beliefs about yourself and what you are doing. Are you always questioning yourself: โ€œWHY AM I DOING THIS?โ€ A great and enlightening exercise is to Ask why I am doing this and go to the bottom of it- ask โ€œWHYโ€ several times in a row (at least 5 times) until you reach the deepest why. After asking these questions constantly after some time I realized that one of the main reasons I was gaming was that I was looking for validation from woman and the man in the community. I realized I was in for the wrong reasons and I was not really enjoying the process. Even when I got laid, I was not enjoying it, I was elsewhere, thinking I was getting another lay count. When I started to question those things, I stopped looking for validation. Once you realize this and let go of it, your Game starts improving. You become less worried about the outcomes of the interaction and what other people will think. Women start feeling it that you are more present, and less needy. What happens is that you feel less the need to try to control the outcome and you are carefree of it. The more you release of the need to try to control everything the better are your results. Seems counter intuitive but it is what I experienced. Because you are not good enough you think you always must keep talking. Youโ€™re afraid she is going to go away. If you get rid of that fear, do what you feel like doing. Paradoxically that is what is going to get you laid more. You must start being aware of your thoughts and how you feel, then you must start thinking that you are good enough. This comes with time while taking action and getting better, your confidence will improve, and your beliefs will shift. When you believe that you are good enough and lose the need to try and control the outcomes is when you have more control and you EXPLODE your results. Hope it was helpful Peace ๐Ÿ˜˜
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/barrocasdiogo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 07
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Girl are you my kids..?

Cause I only see you once every two weeks and I want you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/4L3Xvids
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 22
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Hey girl, are you a neutron star?

Because time slows down when I'm near you, you're hot, I'm attracted to you, and once I'm near you I have a hard time getting away. Also works as a breakup line: girl, you must be a neutron star because you're dense AF and weigh a ton, it's painful to be near you and I can't get away from you.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Esnardoo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 19
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They say angels go to heaven

So I hope I go to heaven so I can see you once again
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BlackJaguar7
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 09
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You know there are angels in heaven...

I hope I go to heaven so I see you once again - Day 62
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/suyashve
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 06
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Girl are you pinterest

Cause once i am inside you i can't leave
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/fadyabusitta
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 14
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Are you a can of pringles?

Because once I start eating you, Iโ€™m not gonna stop until Iโ€™m satisfied.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Popcorn57252
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 09
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What do you and Area 51 have in common?

Everyone thinks itll be easy to get inside of you and once they do, they'd pretend they knew what they were doing.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/IlIACElIl
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 13
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Hello Im the USA and you madame must be the middle east

Bc once I get inside you I'm never pulling out
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Duckuverymuch
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 01
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Hey girl, are you diarrhea?

Cause once you start coming, you won't be able to stop
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/parkerthepolarbear
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 25
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Are you the derivative of my graph?

Because then you would be tangent to me. SIKE. I want to see you more than once in my life. Please be my integral, so you would fill me from the inside~
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Chuwei_Bar
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 01
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Would you like to dance?

Would you like to dance? No? Then I suppose a blow job is out of the question? (I once had a friend ask me what you're supposed to say if she answers the question with a "yes." At that point you just dance with her....)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MikeMcK83
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 23
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Hey baby, are from Heaven?

Because I sure do want to kill myself. However, the possibility of an afterlife instills me with abounding despair, for if there truly is a Heaven, then equally as true must be a Hell. Given the uncountable sins of my lifetime heretofore, it is with absolute certainty that my eternal soul would be condemned to the lake of fire, should it exist at all. O' how sweet the thought of endless oblivion! A serene nothingness that lasts thoughout all of time, and is over at once. Beyond the heat death of our universe, a multi-trillion year sempiternity to those who wake, I would glide in an instant. Knowing such a nonexistence awaited me at my death has been my only comfort for many years. However, laying eyes upon you has all but abolished that comfort. Your angelic presence casts doubt upon such a fate. For how could one as beautiful as you originate from a realm other than Paradise?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Peb_The_Soon-Ended
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 24
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Right so I have no clue how to talk to girls

Just to give you a clarification on how shit I am at talking to girls at prom once this girl I was friends with wore this long and wide red dress that fell behind her and I said to her โ€œyou look lovely, you look like a very beautiful jabbaโ€ she didnโ€™t know what that was and as if that wasnโ€™t a godsend enough that she didnโ€™t know and that a higher power wasnโ€™t telling me to just end on your beautiful I then proceeded to say โ€œumm you look like a very pretty slugโ€ right so now everythingโ€™s cleared up thatโ€™s not even the worst thing Iโ€™ve ever said to a girl the only reason I actually have any girls who are friends is because once at a party I was drunk and I said I was gay, Iโ€™m not but the next day at college all the girls were putting me cause all the roadmen were Fucking getting a right laugh out of it then they all got suspended then all the girls started talking to me so I just went along with it Right so now that rabbit hole is impossible to get out of so Iโ€™m bisexual according to everyone but me, I donโ€™t know how to Fucking be a human being for more than three minutes HELP
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/areallytinyhorse
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 01
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Aye gurl, are you a trash can?

Because I want to take you out at least once a week for the rest of my life
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/XenithSkylord
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 06
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A little elaborate, but bear with me.

So this has to be done at a bar that uses ice cubes in their drinks. Take up a seat next to the prettiest girl there. She'll probably be wondering why you sat so close with so many empty seats. This is good---pique her interest, get her thinking about you. You order a gin soda or any other hiball (preferably something with no sugary soda). Sit there and drink quietly while you glance up at her every once in a while with maybe a smile or two. Again, keep her thinking "who is this guy and what does he want?" This is critical. Do this maybe four or five times and when she finally turns to you to ask "can I help you?" you take a piece of ice out of your glass, place it on the bar, look her dead in the eye and smash it with your cup. Then you say, in your most James Dean with Wolverine claws voice: "Now that I've broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?" Boom. Panties, meet floor.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/How_Majestic
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 26
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Have you heard what the scientists are saying?

There will only be 7 planets once I destroy Uranus.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/vaughisa
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 15
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That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. Itโ€™s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you canโ€™t just say โ€œhey, Iโ€™m not a rapistโ€, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Osborne26
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29
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