Paper Pick up lines

Bcs i wanna Cover you with the ink from my pencil;)

Cuz I wanna use you and throw you away

Because I want to impale you on my neighbor's trees this Halloween.

On the note "ticket" Say. "Here's a one ticket to pound town, where I'm the mayor"

cause i really want you on me when im ROCK hard

and I was wondering if I could interview you?

Full of shit.

Cause I wanna procrastinate till the last minute then spend all night doing you

Cause everybody is fighting for you.

Because I could be your Prince Charmin.

Cause I wanna be your Prince Charmin.

When they can literally sit in my face for free🤷‍♂️

Because I can be your Prince Charmin

Roses are red Introverts would like the quarantine Hey honey Be my valentine? (Please tell me the pronunciation is "kwaren-tyn")

I wish you can last forever

Cause I can’t get enough of you

Because I need all of you for absolutely no reason.

Cuz your exactly what I need Edit: alternate line: cuz I see you then your gone

Can I use you instead

I wish I was toilet paper cuz then I could touch your butt

Cause I wanna lick you

I'm writing a term paper on the fine things in life. I was wondering if I could interview you?

I am a philametologist and could use your help on my next work.

Because I'd love showing off to the entire world that you're with me. We can go anywhere you want to go. I'll buy dinner and pay for our movie tickets too. Genuinely no expectation for sex because just knowing you want to spend time with me would get me off. We can get ice creams and lick each other's flavors. Like in super slow motion. If you choke on something I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you alive because when we do have sexual intercourse it will only be with your not dead body. Every time I see you my heart does multiple somersaults inside and I wish you could somehow feel that feeling it gives me so you'd have some idea of how fully head over heels I am for you and that luscious body you're packing into that outfit of yours. When we do make sweet love to each other's bodies you will always finish first. In fact if you don't bust a lady nut I won't be busting a jizz nut either. If you send me nudes not only will I never share them with anybody else ever I will also make sure and keep them inside encrypted folders on external drives that I keep in my 6 foot fire proof safe. Any time I use them to pleasure my weiner dong I'll make sure to put the nudes back into the safe immediately. Before I even clean up the mess you made me make because I was thinking about you and you got me so horny I couldn't even properly prepare ahead of time and get the paper towels ready so I just launched the baby batter right into my belly button. And when our date is over I'm going to be waiting by my phone anxiously awaiting your next texts to find out when I can set eyes on you again. What really confuses me is how I survived all my life without you because now that I know you girl, I can't live another moment without you in my life. Ok so, pick you up around 5?

Cause you got me using more toilet paper ;)

Can i check out your tax haven?

So I could touch your butt.

Buy this toilet paper and it won't be the only thing wiping your ass tonight

Cause after I wash my hands, I use five paper towels to dry them off even though I only need two.

Say you are going to perform a magic trick to victim. Ask said person to write down their phone number on a piece of paper, but say you don't need the paper. Ask them to add up all the digits of their phone number **excluding** the middle two. Say something about how phone numbers are not entirely random, and that the middle two digits mostly **(say this exactly "in 99.9999% of cases this works")** formed from the addition of all the other digits divided by two + a special number that only you know, ask them for the addition number, then guess a random number. When it turns out to be wrong, ask for the sheet to check they did the maths right. Then turn to them and say, **"huh, I guess you are just a one in a million kinda guy/girl"**