Paper Pick up lines

The best Paper pick up lines

Are you a sheet of paper?

Bcs i wanna Cover you with the ink from my pencil;)
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_legend_x
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29
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Hey girl are you toilet paper?

Cuz I wanna use you and throw you away
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sweetsatanlove
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23
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Are you toilet paper?

Because I want to impale you on my neighbor's trees this Halloween.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Leboy2Point0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20
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(hand unsuspecting victim a piece of paper)

On the note "ticket" Say. "Here's a one ticket to pound town, where I'm the mayor"
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/holyydiver32
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24
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hey girl, are you paper?

cause i really want you on me when im ROCK hard
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thisisjg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02
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I’m writing a paper on the finer things in life,

and I was wondering if I could interview you?
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/suyashve
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05
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I like my men like i like my toliet paper...

Full of shit.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-Benjamin_Dover-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15
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Are you a college paper?

Cause I wanna procrastinate till the last minute then spend all night doing you
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ducktor-Monty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26
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Are you a roll of toilet paper?

Cause everybody is fighting for you.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kikii_mott
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10
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Baby, do you need toilet paper?

Because I could be your Prince Charmin.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LTenaciouSD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30
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Do you need toilet paper?

Cause I wanna be your Prince Charmin.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cassshea1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30
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I don’t get why girls are stocking up on toilet paper

When they can literally sit in my face for freeπŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/solm42168
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17
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Hey Girl, do you need toilet paper?

Because I can be your Prince Charmin
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZamericaZ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17
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Want you more than toilet-paper

Roses are red Introverts would like the quarantine Hey honey Be my valentine? (Please tell me the pronunciation is "kwaren-tyn")
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16
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Baby you are like toilet paper.

I wish you can last forever
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/abdul909
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20
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Are you toilet paper?

Cause I can’t get enough of you
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheRetardedRedditor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31
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Damn, girl are you toilet paper?

Because I need all of you for absolutely no reason.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brussington
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25
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Are you toilet paper?

Cuz your exactly what I need Edit: alternate line: cuz I see you then your gone
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tyolmedo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30
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I’ve run out of toilet paper

Can I use you instead
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Professor_Voodoo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16
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I wish I was toilet paper

I wish I was toilet paper cuz then I could touch your butt
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iwantfoodrn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28
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Are you a rolling paper?

Cause I wanna lick you
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sadistic_Wizard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25
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This one is really good

I'm writing a term paper on the fine things in life. I was wondering if I could interview you?
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/titan______
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13
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Hey girl I'm a scientist working on a paper.

I am a philametologist and could use your help on my next work.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Choatez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18
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Hey girl, you wanna go out in public with me some time?

Because I'd love showing off to the entire world that you're with me. We can go anywhere you want to go. I'll buy dinner and pay for our movie tickets too. Genuinely no expectation for sex because just knowing you want to spend time with me would get me off. We can get ice creams and lick each other's flavors. Like in super slow motion. If you choke on something I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you alive because when we do have sexual intercourse it will only be with your not dead body. Every time I see you my heart does multiple somersaults inside and I wish you could somehow feel that feeling it gives me so you'd have some idea of how fully head over heels I am for you and that luscious body you're packing into that outfit of yours. When we do make sweet love to each other's bodies you will always finish first. In fact if you don't bust a lady nut I won't be busting a jizz nut either. If you send me nudes not only will I never share them with anybody else ever I will also make sure and keep them inside encrypted folders on external drives that I keep in my 6 foot fire proof safe. Any time I use them to pleasure my weiner dong I'll make sure to put the nudes back into the safe immediately. Before I even clean up the mess you made me make because I was thinking about you and you got me so horny I couldn't even properly prepare ahead of time and get the paper towels ready so I just launched the baby batter right into my belly button. And when our date is over I'm going to be waiting by my phone anxiously awaiting your next texts to find out when I can set eyes on you again. What really confuses me is how I survived all my life without you because now that I know you girl, I can't live another moment without you in my life. Ok so, pick you up around 5?
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/muckrak3r
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20
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Damn girl, are you coronavirus?

Cause you got me using more toilet paper ;)
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/4L3Xvids
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26
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Hey girl are you associated with the Panama papers?

Can i check out your tax haven?
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Arabalidos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13
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I wish I was a piece of toilet paper..

So I could touch your butt.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Majestic_Banana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25
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Make sure you have toilet paper.

Buy this toilet paper and it won't be the only thing wiping your ass tonight
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheBellaBubbles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27
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Hey do you like bad boys?

Cause after I wash my hands, I use five paper towels to dry them off even though I only need two.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deengoh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17
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Clever way to get her phone number

Say you are going to perform a magic trick to victim. Ask said person to write down their phone number on a piece of paper, but say you don't need the paper. Ask them to add up all the digits of their phone number **excluding** the middle two. Say something about how phone numbers are not entirely random, and that the middle two digits mostly **(say this exactly "in 99.9999% of cases this works")** formed from the addition of all the other digits divided by two + a special number that only you know, ask them for the addition number, then guess a random number. When it turns out to be wrong, ask for the sheet to check they did the maths right. Then turn to them and say, **"huh, I guess you are just a one in a million kinda guy/girl"**
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deathsmith8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21
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