Sex Pick up lines

How about we go over to your place, and talk about it...

If ahe replies no then you say why not don't you like pizza?

Because you have really nice eyes.

My best pickup line

Juicy and raw 💦

No? Then do you wanna come over and talk for a while

So anyways, I was thinking you and I should lose our virginity to each other, what do you think?

This was many years ago maybe 1981 or 82. I was dancing with girl at a club. She seemed nice and she did agree to dance with me. So I wanted to say something cleaver and out of nowhere, I am Like “Would you ever consider having sex with a Complete Stranger” she gets this puzzled look and says No! Well than allow me to introduce myself, My name is Michael and I offer her my hand. She laughed and shock my hand and gave me her name. I said now we are not strangers. She laughed again. It didn’t get me laid that night, but that night lead to another date and eventually into her pants.

But then I’d be telling the truth

Because we could have sex 4 times tonight

or why do I feel like I'm doing threesome when we have sex?

Now considering that there's a tiny nonzero probability that this is the last 45 minutes of our lives, can we go have sex for a tiny nonzero amount of time?

If No: Well you've come to the right place. If Yes: Well you're gonna have to keep on looking.

So the obvious answer is yes, I do. But here's the back story: Back in August, I slid into this girl's DMs. We exchanged a couple playful messages and that was that. I hit her back up again in September just to keep things warm. Then in October I asked, "are you almost ready?" She said, "for what?" I said, "our coffee date." She replied, "I might be ready by December lmao." She could've said that because maybe she had shit going on at the time or if she wasn't interested maybe think I'd forget about her by then. Well, I almost did lol and then I remembered today so I hit her up and said, "Since I'm nice I gave you a little extra time. You ready now?" However, she replied with "wanna have a threemsome with my future gf?" Keep in mind, we hadn't talked since October and it was about a coffee date, we don't follow each other and this was her reply. Now 9 times outta 10 if a girl asked this I'd suspect it to be some simp test or her being bored and just fucking with me with no intention of actually...fucking with me. But right when she sent this message she also looked at my profile and liked a recent (shirtless) photo of me which I don't think a girl with zero interest would do. But at the same time even girls with interest don't straight up ask if you wanna have sex, let alone a threemsome with a "future" gf? Futures gf? Which that's a whole other mindfuck. So I guess the question is, how do I respond with being open to it if it's the 1 out of 10 times she's serious about it, but also not come across as a needy simp to the effect of "omg I would love to!"

Because I'm stronger then you.

Because i'm stronger than you

Cos I want to exchange money for sex.

I'll tie you to the bed so you don't fall off

I’d rather knock down a couple trees with you and after, build a shelter like naked and afraid except baby I want you to **actually be afraid**

Don't worry, I'm into bad boys

Because I want to have sex with you

Will you help?

Sins are forgiven, stick it right in.

cause those 30 seconds are going to change your life

Hmu if you wanna know how to spell and unscramble letters

It's the question and the answer is yes.

Raw

Cuz u look SeXe XD

Raw and bloody.

Because I’d pay to have sexual intercourse with you.

Most start laughing and boom, better icebreaker than the Titanic.

Because you’re super fly

Her: I broke my leg and need help. Can you help me do my house work and get some groceries? I will make it worth your while and go down on you! Id say have sex but im not sure how to do th at with a broken leg, maybe ou could help figure it out, any idea? Me: oh yeah one time i had sex with a girl with a wooden leg! Ok honestly it was only wooden from the knee up to the waist, but the rest of it was real! Her: The rest of her leg was real? Me: No the rest of her body was real! How wood the rest of her leg be real? Her: wait, How?

Well we can go back to my place and talk

I wanna have sex with you

Because I will give you money if you allow me to have sex on you. Please. Please. Pleeeeeease.

Cuz I think you’re super beautiful and I wanna have sex with you

If we do sex I ain’t gonna pull out

Because I'd love showing off to the entire world that you're with me. We can go anywhere you want to go. I'll buy dinner and pay for our movie tickets too. Genuinely no expectation for sex because just knowing you want to spend time with me would get me off. We can get ice creams and lick each other's flavors. Like in super slow motion. If you choke on something I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you alive because when we do have sexual intercourse it will only be with your not dead body. Every time I see you my heart does multiple somersaults inside and I wish you could somehow feel that feeling it gives me so you'd have some idea of how fully head over heels I am for you and that luscious body you're packing into that outfit of yours. When we do make sweet love to each other's bodies you will always finish first. In fact if you don't bust a lady nut I won't be busting a jizz nut either. If you send me nudes not only will I never share them with anybody else ever I will also make sure and keep them inside encrypted folders on external drives that I keep in my 6 foot fire proof safe. Any time I use them to pleasure my weiner dong I'll make sure to put the nudes back into the safe immediately. Before I even clean up the mess you made me make because I was thinking about you and you got me so horny I couldn't even properly prepare ahead of time and get the paper towels ready so I just launched the baby batter right into my belly button. And when our date is over I'm going to be waiting by my phone anxiously awaiting your next texts to find out when I can set eyes on you again. What really confuses me is how I survived all my life without you because now that I know you girl, I can't live another moment without you in my life. Ok so, pick you up around 5?

we’re gonna have sex, cause I’m stronger than you

Me: hey, i think you look cute, would you like to go out for drinks. Them: sorry i'am straight Me: so does spaghetti when it's not hot Baduuum tsss

I can't do either without expressed written consent 😉

would the answer be the same as the answer to this question?

my stupid coworker thought of this

So, i don't remember eating sex god today:p

cause I wanna have sex

Let’s have 😩 sex inside my car 🚗

Her: "No?" Me: "What, you don't like pizza?"

why not make it one more?

No. Are you sure, because you are an apocalypse waiting to happen. Tip: You can use it if she is into the band Cigarettes after Sex.

Post Traumatic SEX Disorder Sex

Cause how much do I have to repay you for sex last night?

And have sex with me.

Cute nerdy girl sits 2 seats down from me at the empty hotel bar. We chit chat for 15 mintues about work tv booze and whatnot. I want to have a cig, she doesnt smoke. I get up and say " you gonna be here for another 5 mintues?" She says "yeah ill watch your beer" as i take 2 steps away I say " I dont really care about the beer, I was just hoping youd still be here when I get back." She did one of those surprised quick audible inhales... I didnt look back. I get back from smoking and she moved to the chair next to me. I sit down and she puts her hand on my leg immediately. Conversation turned sexual quickly. She has my room key, shes coming up, she stopped at her room obviously to freshen up before it goes down. Tl;dr one line gets sex

Ehh gurl my dick is like a plot its always thickening then at the climax I twist it a little and then rate said twist. God Im terrible at sex