Didn Pick up lines

The best Didn pick up lines

Sorry I didnโ€™t get you any chocolates for valentines day

But if you want something sweet,Iโ€™m right here
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/crackit_boi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 14
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If god didnโ€™t want us to f*ck

He wouldnโ€™t have made you so Holy.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Besval10
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 16
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I'm mad that google didn't tell me

That you were the best place to eat out
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/da_pro_guy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 17
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If Covid19 didn't take you out,

Can I?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dingustinguss
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 30
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Since COVID-19 didn't take you out, Can I?

You can $timulus my package ;)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/justintimehere
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 11
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This is an original. I came up with on the spot

This was many years ago maybe 1981 or 82. I was dancing with girl at a club. She seemed nice and she did agree to dance with me. So I wanted to say something cleaver and out of nowhere, I am Like โ€œWould you ever consider having sex with a Complete Strangerโ€ she gets this puzzled look and says No! Well than allow me to introduce myself, My name is Michael and I offer her my hand. She laughed and shock my hand and gave me her name. I said now we are not strangers. She laughed again. It didnโ€™t get me laid that night, but that night lead to another date and eventually into her pants.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CaptainFlyingsolo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 13
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Are you a test I didn't study for?

Because you got my heart racing
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dalmatians-dawg
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 15
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What do tinder matches and 2021 have in common?

Didnโ€™t expect to make it this far, but here we are
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/anxilhiromi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 31
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Hey girl I wanted to take you to the movies but

But they don't allow to bring your own snacks. Edit: honestly didn't expect it to blow up this much lol
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HollowfiedNazgul
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 21
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Hey girl, I was just reading the book of Numbers..

Hey girl, I was just reading the books of Numbers (from the Bible) and I realised .. I didnโ€™t have yours. (Worked out for me at church)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/matt_kann
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 16
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*Checking out at a store*

If I didn't have these items would you still check me out?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ok-Collection-5134
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 11
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I didn't think I'd find a walrus in here...

But baby you'd walrus be mine.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jeffreylynngoldblum
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 10
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He: You look very beautiful today

She : But you didnโ€™t even get to see me today He: I donโ€™t need to
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/vandit-jain
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 09
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Roses are red violets are blue, I didn't know...

what perfect was until I met you.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Shub_007
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 06
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She asked me why I didn't bother talking to her anymore...

I told her I'm not built to climb mountains and on the heights she stands I'm not sure I could breathe long enough to express what I see.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/berdiaon
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 28
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Damn, I didn't know halloween was so early this year

but, I want you to be my boo
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Mr_Jamington
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 21
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Iโ€™m surprised you didnโ€™t turn into dust when Thanos snapped

Because youโ€™re half my universe
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dee-Pac-Man
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 24
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I didn't charge my phone last night

I only have 10% of battery left. But i'm still 100% into you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MtxJosh
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 19
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Wow, I didn't know you're an electrician

Coz you just gave me sparks with those pair of beautiful eyes
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/shanwei10
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18
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My mum told me princesses didn't exist and they were all a fantasy.

Until i met you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/aoekin_
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 11
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Even if gravity didn't exist

I'd still fall for you..
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/unusedtalent
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 06
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Hey girl, are you uhmm... Uum..

Sorry sorry didn't meant to come out as a creep
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/not_part_time_ninja
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 21
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Itโ€™s the day after Halloween and I honestly didnโ€™t expect Santa to bring me a gift so early

You. Youโ€™re the gift.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Northern_Cracker
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 01
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Hey girl, I didn't know I needed a pair of glasses till I met you

Because with you around, I can see the world more beautifully.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/shanwei10
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18
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Hey didn't I see you in the produce section?

Because you're a peach
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Havoc2_0
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 26
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How I get boys to talk to me at bars

Junior Year of College when I first started going to bars on Thursday nights, I was getting into the Juul. I didnโ€™t have my own but when ever I was at a bar and some guy had a juul Iโ€™d ask them if I could hit it. Theyโ€™d let me, Iโ€™d smoke it for a minute. Then give it back. After that, they would always try to talk to me. So eventually I used the โ€œcan I hit your juulโ€ to start convos with guys at shitty college bars. No longer gonna be my pick up line with Covid tho. And I quit juul too haha.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lizbradley33
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 15
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iโ€™m so mad at Spotify

since they didnโ€™t list you as hottest single of the month
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/hydrofckingpumps
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 17
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It's not a shitty one liner... It's a shitty 12 liner

So I was chilling one night right, really hungry. Didn't feel like leaving the house so I called my friend and was like "hey can you grab me some 5 guys?" He was like "word" and went over to buy some. About 2 hours later he finally gets back, and I'm like about to about to fucking starve to death. As I'm shoveling this burger into my mouth I was kind of curious so I asked him "hey so what happened? Was traffic really that bad or what?" And he was like "nah.. It was just a really long pickup line"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/_ieya_
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 20
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I saw a video on how to improve your life

It was terrible it didnโ€™t include you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Acknowledgementss
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 20
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Pretty sure that smoke alarm is defective...

You walked past and it didn't go off
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/musingsofmadness
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 08
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Excuse me ma'am, why do you still drive?

Didn't your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/suyashve
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 14
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I think reddit is broken...

I was scrolling through hot and didn't see you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Jaxta_2003
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 14
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Want to know how I went from Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time?

Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was โ€ฆ \[21:35, 13/04/2020\] Barrocas: Want to know how I went from Loser Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time? Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was just like a gay friend. Eventually I met a girl through a coworker. This was the first girl that actually got an interest in me. I even got her number. I would wait desperately when it was her turn to text me back or freak out when she didnยดt reply immediately. When she replied I had seen on internet that i should not reply right away but I was really tempted and desperate. I eventually fucked that up. I got needy and she stopped replying. Since that moment I really got pissed! I got really frustrated so I decided I had to change something otherwise I would stay in this road FOREVER! I decided to start going out by myself. First started watching some videos and i thought what I was seeing there was way out of my reality. (I was watching just random videos of pranks and then I find out that they were all these videos about "game".) Couldn't believe what i was seeing in these videos. No way that was real! Lol I went out and I first tried to talk to girls but was too hard and way to out of my comfort zone. This is where a lot of guys go WRONG and just give up. Instead I decided to accept that I sucked, and went very small. Started by asking random simple things to people like going to old people and ask for directions or the time. I just wanted to be building up over time 1% every day. During my beginnings I had a lot of friends telling me to go to hookers and I told them to F\*\* off, โ€œI am going to show you I can do it on my ownโ€. Eventually, because I was going out by myself and pushing my limits, over time I started talking to girls. (that got me in some really funny stories like being arrested by the police but that is for another time ๐Ÿคฃ) Finally after 5 months of going out i lost my virginity with a girl i approached in my town!! After 6 months found the Game community in Lisbon and met some guys I could go out with. After some time i started to get some more sporadic results and other close calls. Built my way up in the community and started organizing seminar in hotels and doing public speaking, giving value to the community. 2 years in finally found a real life mentor Dhurba Shrestha. He is what we call a "Natural" We went out for all full summer. We had a lot threesomes and gangbangs and even failed a couple of foursomes. We had a lot of fun! I learned a lot by going out with him and observing him. Became way more relaxed and natural than I was before. Now i look back and think how gamey I was. I talk way less and the impact of my words is way more powerful. Today when I say โ€œHiโ€ it has the same impact has a huge opener. He really helped me go to the next level way quicker. I never thought I could have gang bangsโ€ฆand girls actually love it!! The main thing that I learned from it was to not to be so possessive over a girl. To be able to share with another guy you must let go of that feeling of possession ( emotional attachment). So to finish off, You might think that right now you suck at talking to girls and it is difficult and hard But don't give up!! If you can't find help and you are by yourself and approaching girls is too hard for you.. Start with baby stepping!! Start talking to old people like I did and then build from there.. Slowly with time and pushing yourself a bit everyday you will start talking to girls Despite what i said previously, ideally you should not try this by yourself of course. Look for other wings to go out with, to motivate you or find someone better than you that is willing to mentor you or exchange some value so you can be around them and learn from them. Hope it was helpful Peace out ๐Ÿ˜˜
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/barrocasdiogo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 14
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Instagram Flirting ๐Ÿ‘€

Once I got an Idea to hit pickup lines on Instagram. So I created anonymous account and gained some fake followers and then started DM with cheesy pickup lines. After many DMs a girl replied "Ankh se goli maar kr udda dungi๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜". But I didn't Stop to hit more pickups ๐Ÿ˜‚. But got blocked for 4 days and requested me by 'asking who are you ?' Again I hit 'Do you know me ?' She replied 'Kon hooo bhai' "Oh that's right, we've only met in my dreams" She : Aww that was cute ๐Ÿฅฐ ...But I have a boyfriend.. sorry Me : even goal has a goalkeeper but still we score She : ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚omg!!! Ima take that from you You should follow me so I can see your insta . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . And FU*K oucht
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mikepatell
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22
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Roses are red, violets are blue

I swear I didnโ€™t know she was 2!
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Zinguu
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 26
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I need to report Spotify

Cause I didn't see you in my hot singles list last week
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rodriguez0319
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 31
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Yes you're the cutest boo...

DaVinci painted the Mona Lisa cause he didn't have you - Day 49
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/suyashve
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 23
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Are you the Jefferey Epstein memes?

Because I'll never, ever let you go. And Jeffery Epstein didn't kill himself.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/maroonedpariah
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 21
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I was scrolling through reddit...

And it was showing me hot posts. But i didn't see you around
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Toaster_G0D
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 13
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Fuck me if I'm wrong but

didn't Epstein actually kill himself?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rae0253
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 09
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Wholesome Pickup Lines

There was a mistake in this week's music charts. They didn't have you as the hottest single. You must be the square root of a negative because there's no way you can be real Are you my student loan cuz you got my interest (works for college plus it's funny) I'd never play hide and seek with you cuz someone like you is impossible to find I think I need to call 9-1-1 because something has just been stolen from me...my heart
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/pineapplepenguino
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 17
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Youโ€™re just like a jar of peanut butter, but I donโ€™t need a spoon too eat you out.

To* edit didnโ€™t notice til after
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/wafflesOWO
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 10
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Hey feel my shirt, you know what that is?

It's a cotton and polyester blend... what you thought I was going to say boyfriend or girlfriend material didn't you. Well, you are wrong. Don't assume I like you if you don't even know me. On the flip side, your clothes look so soft that we should cuddle.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Karens_mashedpotatos
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 24
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Iโ€™m going to have to report Spotify...

Because I didnโ€™t see you in my hottest singles last week
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/nicht-deutsch
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 14
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Roses are red, violets are blue ...

I didnโ€™t know what perfect was until I met you.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/wadanohara13
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 12
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Do you like your steak a little raw?

Because Iโ€™m going to be doing you raw tonight. (That didnโ€™t really work as well as I expected to)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Karens_mashedpotatos
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 25
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Damn girl did you see Jeffery Epstein in heaven?

Because he sure didnโ€™t kill himself.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Caecrilius
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 13
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Girl I didn't know you raised chickens.

Because you sure raised my cock.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/n0th1ng_r3al
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 28
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Girl, you need to know that I'm Dio

cause you're my "Za Warudo". >(Jojo reference if anyone didn't get it)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/allan-alchrist
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 20
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The best pickup line I've ever used

I was talking with a girl and she said how she was disappointed in me because I didn't study for a test, and I said "speaking of ways I can disappoint you, do you want to date?" and I don't know HOW that didn't work. Also, around a month later she and I were packing up and leaving class and I said "I think you dropped something" and she said "what?" and I said "your standards. Are they low enough yet that you want to date?"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Blenjamin
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 13
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Right so I have no clue how to talk to girls

Just to give you a clarification on how shit I am at talking to girls at prom once this girl I was friends with wore this long and wide red dress that fell behind her and I said to her โ€œyou look lovely, you look like a very beautiful jabbaโ€ she didnโ€™t know what that was and as if that wasnโ€™t a godsend enough that she didnโ€™t know and that a higher power wasnโ€™t telling me to just end on your beautiful I then proceeded to say โ€œumm you look like a very pretty slugโ€ right so now everythingโ€™s cleared up thatโ€™s not even the worst thing Iโ€™ve ever said to a girl the only reason I actually have any girls who are friends is because once at a party I was drunk and I said I was gay, Iโ€™m not but the next day at college all the girls were putting me cause all the roadmen were Fucking getting a right laugh out of it then they all got suspended then all the girls started talking to me so I just went along with it Right so now that rabbit hole is impossible to get out of so Iโ€™m bisexual according to everyone but me, I donโ€™t know how to Fucking be a human being for more than three minutes HELP
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/areallytinyhorse
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 01
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What's the weirdes pick-up line you've ever used that succeeded?

What's the weirdes pick-up line you've ever used that succeeded? I'll go first; ''What's the difference between you and an armadillo? I didn't jerk off to an armadillo five minutes ago.''
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ivy_league33
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 20
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Fool proof pickup line

Go up to a girl smoking a cigarette and say "excuse me but smoking isn't allowed here" Then when she reacts say "oh, I didn't even know you had a cigarette; I was talking about you because you are smoking" You're welcome.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Real_Friendo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 14
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Yesterday I grabbed coffee with an older women ..

She sat and I asked what she wanted before going to the counter to order, she said double double (Canadian for two cream two sugar) so I went and ordered then brought back our drinks. I gave her the coffee and said "I didn't add any sugar because you're already sweet enough". She looked at me and said "shut the fuck up". My mom didn't find it funny, but the girl at the table next to me did. We now have a lunch date this afternoon. TL;DR Used pick up line on my mom, now have a date with a cute girl
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/smalldickfuckboy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 11
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Recently lost 25 pounds had the confidence and dropped a line the other day.

I was checking out at a grocery store, there was a nice look lady in front of me seemed to be my age and the cashier didn't see her cart she asked if we were together, (she didn't see the little separator stick) I replied "We aren't yet", got a laugh and a number !!! BOOYAH!
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/G0PACKGO
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 18
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Pick up lines for brown eyes?

I didn't want to have to post this, but I've done a decent bit of searching andcouldn't find any. I guess there aren't many brown things people would want to be compared to.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Psychaotic20
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 27
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Ever wanted to hit on a cute girl at the register of a store, but don't have time because you'd hold up the line? Try this.

This isn't a pickup line per se, but I've always found this situation to be frustrating. She's super hot, but you can't chat her up during your transaction-- it doesn't take long enough, and you can't just stand there holding up the people behind you. So here's what I do (and it's worked a couple times). What you'll need: A pen, a post-it note, and a little bit of stealth What you do: Walk into the store, ID the girl you want to talk to. As soon as you walk in, make sure she can't see you put the pen on the counter-- a good way to do this is to do it as you bend down to tie your shoes (leave one shoe untied to make it more convincing). When you're checking out, put your items on the counter and put your post-it note to the side (maybe take it out of your pocket as if you're looking for your money/wallet/card and just want to discard it for a second). This is where the pen from the beginning comes in. Ask her "Hey, can I borrow that pen?" She'll assume it's the store's, and she'll say sure. While she's ringing you up, write your name and number on the post-it note. Take your items and your change, and then give her this: "Oh, here's your pen back... thanks. And here's my phone number. Call me." And then calmly walk out of the door with a smile on your face. MAKE SURE YOU SMILE. Add a wink if you're feeling particularly confident. It also helps if you can at least make small talk during the process-- try to make her laugh or smile. Like I said, this has worked for me at least twice, and one time it didn't work, the girl still said it was "cute." Just thought I'd share a solution to a problem I hate. Didn't really know where else to put it. This is gonna get downvoted straight to the eighth circle of Hell, isn't it? :-(
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RayAP19
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 25
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Aye girl my mom taught me never to hit a woman...

But she didn't say I couldn't tongue punch your fart box.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/spicyameatball
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 29
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If girl say i have a boyfriend

Got to a girl say you're looking pretty If she says thanks i have a boyfriend !!! .. tell her i didn't purpose you but it's really sad to know about your problem
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Iamviin
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 05
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That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. Itโ€™s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you canโ€™t just say โ€œhey, Iโ€™m not a rapistโ€, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Osborne26
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29
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