Shut Pick up lines

The best Shut pick up lines

Will you shut the fuck up??

Or else I will spank your motherfucking ass
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smit_shah3469
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14
🚨︎ report

Hey girl are you a Dino?

Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/petergriffinfricken
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09
🚨︎ report

Hey girl. Are you a smoke detector?

Cause you won't shut the fuck up
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yankmydankplz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25
🚨︎ report

Hey girl, are you a child?

Because you won’t shut the fuck up
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Matrix_Panda99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13
🚨︎ report

is it okay for me to be internet explorer and crash at your place tonight?

this app just shut down my laptop its really sad so if you can surprise me with something funny in the comments I will literally love you a lot
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WaterruDoing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17
🚨︎ report

Are you a massive brick wall?

Because I'd shut down the government to have you 😏
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PhotonBeast
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19
🚨︎ report

Yesterday I grabbed coffee with an older women ..

She sat and I asked what she wanted before going to the counter to order, she said double double (Canadian for two cream two sugar) so I went and ordered then brought back our drinks. I gave her the coffee and said "I didn't add any sugar because you're already sweet enough". She looked at me and said "shut the fuck up". My mom didn't find it funny, but the girl at the table next to me did. We now have a lunch date this afternoon. TL;DR Used pick up line on my mom, now have a date with a cute girl
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smalldickfuckboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11
🚨︎ report