Drunk Pick up lines

The best Drunk pick up lines

Are you a traffic sign?

Because I’d love to take you home on a drunk night
👤︎ u/Hefty_Orange
📅︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report

From one of my favorite youtubers... "Can you let me know when you're drunk enough that you find me attractive?"

If your curious, the channel is Joe Goes. He was epic
👤︎ u/DrunkCanadianGuy
📅︎ Oct 20
🚨︎ report

Are you leftover pizza?

I should probably get rid of you but now that I'm drunk I'ma put you in my mouth again
👤︎ u/Exceptional_Angell
📅︎ Aug 31
🚨︎ report

I’m sincerely amazed at how you people don’t realize how much you are running this /sub with all your lame ass “nice” comments!

Play a video game if you want a high score EDIT: It took me to get really drunk to finally say this, but it’s true
👤︎ u/NYRion7
📅︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report

I dont believe 9/11 happened.

Because honestly, I think you're the only thing hot enough to melt steel beams. (I was really drunk playing video games with my friends when I made this one up)
👤︎ u/scout_void
📅︎ Sep 11
🚨︎ report

Are you a toddler playing in the road

Because I'm drunk and I'm ready to plow right into you
👤︎ u/Thehairypotatocouch
📅︎ Aug 14
🚨︎ report

Try it and see. Its a new twist on an oldie

So this one might take a little bit of digging to get some information on the person of interest. Find out if they went to college if they did find out what they studied if they studied a math class or science class you could say that you're being awarded the highest award in that category and when she asks what you're getting the award for you say you figured out how to combine you and I. Cheesy yes. But i feel like its a drunk girl at last call pantie dropper!
👤︎ u/9inchSteve1
📅︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report

Ur lips are like wine 😍,

And I want to get drunk !
👤︎ u/ouihrani
📅︎ May 29
🚨︎ report

A: How drunk are you?

B: About like your face. A: What? B: Pretty This only works if they ask you, but still.
👤︎ u/Jobenblue
📅︎ Dec 12
🚨︎ report

Right so I have no clue how to talk to girls

Just to give you a clarification on how shit I am at talking to girls at prom once this girl I was friends with wore this long and wide red dress that fell behind her and I said to her “you look lovely, you look like a very beautiful jabba” she didn’t know what that was and as if that wasn’t a godsend enough that she didn’t know and that a higher power wasn’t telling me to just end on your beautiful I then proceeded to say “umm you look like a very pretty slug” right so now everything’s cleared up that’s not even the worst thing I’ve ever said to a girl the only reason I actually have any girls who are friends is because once at a party I was drunk and I said I was gay, I’m not but the next day at college all the girls were putting me cause all the roadmen were Fucking getting a right laugh out of it then they all got suspended then all the girls started talking to me so I just went along with it Right so now that rabbit hole is impossible to get out of so I’m bisexual according to everyone but me, I don’t know how to Fucking be a human being for more than three minutes HELP
👤︎ u/areallytinyhorse
📅︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report

Need help remembering this pick up line.

So I was drunk tindering and I used a line on this girl but I have no idea what my blacked out mind had as a punchline. This is what I wrote Me: I see a regret in your future. Her: haha do ya? Any help to this would be appreciated.
👤︎ u/Sebiscuits
📅︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report

That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
👤︎ u/Osborne26
📅︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report