Ever Pick up lines

So that I can call you Mine ;)

Well you see 10-7=3, and without you, that’s all I’d be

If not, I’m always willing to clean your pipes ;)

That's a good icebreaker right?

Cuz I’d like to monster smash

So anyways, I was thinking you and I should lose our virginity to each other, what do you think?

Cuz you’re white, thicc, and my bone needs you *add syrups as needed

This was many years ago maybe 1981 or 82. I was dancing with girl at a club. She seemed nice and she did agree to dance with me. So I wanted to say something cleaver and out of nowhere, I am Like “Would you ever consider having sex with a Complete Stranger” she gets this puzzled look and says No! Well than allow me to introduce myself, My name is Michael and I offer her my hand. She laughed and shock my hand and gave me her name. I said now we are not strangers. She laughed again. It didn’t get me laid that night, but that night lead to another date and eventually into her pants.

•Do u have a pencil? Because i wanna erase your past and write our future •Are you made of nickel cerium arsenic and sulfur? Cus u got a NiCE AsS •Are you terms and conditions ? Because whatever you say i ll always agree with you

Me either. But since I got your attention do you have a moment to talk about our Lord n savior

1 find a girl. 2 get her a drink 3 think of the best pick up line, better than anyone has ever thought of. 4 for repeat what you said in your head. "Are you my pinky toe, cuz your cute, little, and I know I'm gonna smash you against the coffee table later🥴" 5 get laid

Can you help me relive the experience?

And ever since i am saying inshallah

Till i saw you

Beacause if this hypothesis is correct you're the best thing my fucking mind ever created

Because I’m leaving with just enough gas to take you out and crash at your place.

Got a minute?

Cause I have never been ignored this way ever!🥺

We could sit on leaves together. u ever think abt that.

Rose's are red Voilets are Blue The most beautiful girl i ever seen is You.

I would hate to give you diabetes!

It's the same as a french kiss, but down under.

Cuz you're the hottest thing ever created.

or maple syrup which can be guaranteed :))

It goes on forever and ever

Ok boys, these are not my own invention, but rather from a Key and Peele sketch. However, I have field tested them in real life, and I do have a 100% success rate with them or variations of them. “Looking at you is like looking at a mountain creek after a spring thaw, simply refreshing!” AND “You ladies are smoldering, just like the sun! And just as bright too, in those dresses!” Change them up a little. For example: “You are smoldering, just like the sun! And just bright too, with that smile.” If you really want to, you can add in a little “What is your secret?” After initial delivery Good luck boys!

It’s the same as a French one but down under😉

Cause I got your name but I forgot our date Wish me luck kings, I just used that one on a girl who added me on snap

Or you have the only bun that perfectly fix this meat of my. (Idk if this ever used before)

Cause your looks are killer

I hope you'll be my demon.

Unless I gotta take you out

...and the most beautiful one I have ever had.

So I can give you my score on the crazy hot scale.

With just the tip

Girl: No You: Good cause you don't look like sh*t you look like you could burn the sun down with a glane

Cuz you're the sweetest person I've ever met.

(when you have a drink in your hand and you are speaking to a woman: make an audible shrug) *" i should really stop drinking now. Could you please take away my glass before I try to kiss you?"*

No, well you might want to consider it because your face is the jam😉

Im so sick of seeing posts with pretty much all the comments being 'nice' all because of that bot that gives you points or whatever. Having 98% of comments be the same thing removes the entire purpose of the comment section, nothing relevant ever gets added now. I can only speak for myself so let me (and the mods) know what you think of this by commenting.

Cuz if you can't find a seat, you can sit on my face.

Will you be my nothing

I just joined and oh my god. These are the worst pickup lines I've ever heard.

"Then you've never seen us together"

If I ever dared you to play a game of stare with me... Who would win!? I'd be me! As i would be lost deep into those beautiful ocean eyes of yours. But I'd say,I will definitely lose... Lose my heart in exchange.

Am I me? What's going on? Where are we? Is anything even real? Do you ever move your hand to pick something up and think "how are hands even possible? And if I am dreaming, then what is my waking life going to be like?" Girl, this is all very, very complicated. Want to take a walk?

Boy: I'm a superhero... Guess my name?? Girl: Ironman? Spiderman?? Boy: |*smiles*| Yourman!

Because I want to fall down on the bottom of you. Idk if it was good, first ever pickupline in my life.

You’ll beneatha soon

Cuz I can give you a cream filling

Your heart.

Junior Year of College when I first started going to bars on Thursday nights, I was getting into the Juul. I didn’t have my own but when ever I was at a bar and some guy had a juul I’d ask them if I could hit it. They’d let me, I’d smoke it for a minute. Then give it back. After that, they would always try to talk to me. So eventually I used the “can I hit your juul” to start convos with guys at shitty college bars. No longer gonna be my pick up line with Covid tho. And I quit juul too haha.

“I’ve thought you were gorgeous since the day I met you, I’ve recently lost 40 lbs and my dick is working better than ever.”

I’ve been wearing this smile ever since you gave it to me.

SEND ME THE WORST PICK UP LINES EVER SO I CAN SEND THEM TO MY GF

FYI: This is the condensed version. I had to work for it. It wasn’t as simple as just a few sentences. “Hey there! I’m Dave.” ((makes small talk...tries to get date)) Her: “Yeah, thanks but no thanks.” Me: “Why not? Is it my size? I mean, yeah, I’m fat, but so?” Her: “You said it, not me.” Me: “Ah, come on. There are a ton of guys out there named Dave I bet you’d go out with, but have you ever been out with a ton of guy named Dave?” Her: ((laughs...panties drop))

Coz you are the hottest food I've ever seen.

Cause I’m trying to see that asth-ma

Because I've got a nice ceiling you can look at all night.

Hit ma phone up sometime 😏😏

That's not nearly as long as how breath-taken I was when I first laid my eyes on you.

I read this somewhere and was so impressed by it like whoaaaa.. It goes.."Baby if you were McDonald's and I was Nike..I would be doing it and you would be just lovin it.."

I was talking with a girl and she said how she was disappointed in me because I didn't study for a test, and I said "speaking of ways I can disappoint you, do you want to date?" and I don't know HOW that didn't work. Also, around a month later she and I were packing up and leaving class and I said "I think you dropped something" and she said "what?" and I said "your standards. Are they low enough yet that you want to date?"

Out of two nickels *fingers the nickels*.... You're a dime *pushes the dime toward them*

Well you odyssey deez nuts!

Cuz you are the best thing that have ever happened to me and i wanna marry u💍💟

Every time I look up “best person ever” it doesn’t show pictures of you. ;)

Cause I wanna explore every inch of you (we were both into backpacking and outdoorsy stuff). Also I just need to vent idc if anyone reads this. She was so incredibly romantic, idk how I'll ever find anyone like her (but without her flaws cause I wouldn't date anyone with them ever again) and ik that's such an only-dated-one-person thing to say but ya thats the tea

Cause you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen

You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known - and even that is an understatement

Because I'll never, ever let you go. And Jeffery Epstein didn't kill himself.

Because I'd love showing off to the entire world that you're with me. We can go anywhere you want to go. I'll buy dinner and pay for our movie tickets too. Genuinely no expectation for sex because just knowing you want to spend time with me would get me off. We can get ice creams and lick each other's flavors. Like in super slow motion. If you choke on something I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you alive because when we do have sexual intercourse it will only be with your not dead body. Every time I see you my heart does multiple somersaults inside and I wish you could somehow feel that feeling it gives me so you'd have some idea of how fully head over heels I am for you and that luscious body you're packing into that outfit of yours. When we do make sweet love to each other's bodies you will always finish first. In fact if you don't bust a lady nut I won't be busting a jizz nut either. If you send me nudes not only will I never share them with anybody else ever I will also make sure and keep them inside encrypted folders on external drives that I keep in my 6 foot fire proof safe. Any time I use them to pleasure my weiner dong I'll make sure to put the nudes back into the safe immediately. Before I even clean up the mess you made me make because I was thinking about you and you got me so horny I couldn't even properly prepare ahead of time and get the paper towels ready so I just launched the baby batter right into my belly button. And when our date is over I'm going to be waiting by my phone anxiously awaiting your next texts to find out when I can set eyes on you again. What really confuses me is how I survived all my life without you because now that I know you girl, I can't live another moment without you in my life. Ok so, pick you up around 5?

What's the weirdes pick-up line you've ever used that succeeded? I'll go first; ''What's the difference between you and an armadillo? I didn't jerk off to an armadillo five minutes ago.''

You're loving and caring too every person you meet. You're smart and stronger than anyone I have ever met. And you're too beautiful for this world.