Female Pick up lines

Cause I’d love to tie the knot and make a hentai with you. (Get it? Cause female chicken is a hen and tying a knot? Ya me neither.)

Is your name Lightning??⚡⚡ cause I'm tryna make you McQueen 🚗 KACHOW💨

Because I feel the biological need to reproduce with you as the Norepinephrine testosterone Serotonin and Dopamine are racing through my brain. Making me feel the need to tell you I love you and Fuck you.

Cause I wanna stick my dick in that bitch

Cauz I wanna see you more often.

Excuse me, but , you’re “smoking”all by yourself. That cigarette isn’t necessary!

Cause you really know how to make a wiener stand. (Disclosure: I’m female but this still made me laugh)

I need water to keep cool and females to mate with.

The rule as she explained it, was that in order to determine if something is suitable to say to a female, you must first ask yourself: “would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?” “So I’m gunna use it here. You have an insane body!”

I have created the perfect formula for helping my guy friends pick up chicks in bars. Men, all you need is one female friend or buddy’s girlfriend (let’s call her Hannah) to help and the hot chick you want to meet needs to be at the bar. Step 1: Hannah goes up to bar next to the hot chick you want to pick up. Step 2: Hannah compliments the hot chick on literally anything (“omg I love your hair color who is your stylist?” “wow that jacket is awesome, where can I find one” etc.). We all love talking to chicks who say nice things about us. Step 3: While Hannah is chatting up hot girl on her right, you are buying three shots on her left. Step 4: You offer a shot to Hannah while she is still chatting up hot chick. Step 5: Hannah (loudly) claims she can’t find her boyfriend who the third shot was purchased for. Since Hannah and hot chick are now BFFs, she turns to hot chick and says the following “My friend Jake here bought my boyfriend and I a shot but we can’t find him anywhere, do you want to take it with us?” Introduce yourself. Offer hot girl the shot. Emphasize that Hannah’s boyfriend disappeared, etc. Step 6: Hot girl ALWAYS says yes because hot girls at bars love free shots. Step 7: Hannah takes a shot. Tells Lexi (all hot girls are named Lexi) it was nice to meet her, and dips out. You are left chatting up Lexi, buy her a drink, drunkenly make out with her in a corner after 2 hours, etc.p Why does this work? 1. When Hannah compliments Lexi (aka hot chick), Lexi automatically likes Hannah and sees that she’s totally normal and super nice. 2. By you being friends with Hannah, it makes you seem like a regular cool guy and you must be great if you have such cool female friends. 3. Because you’re buying shots, you also seem like a pretty cool dude. Everyone loves the guy who buys people shots. 4. And most importantly, because Hannah lies about her boyfriend being in the bathroom or wherever, hot chick knows you two aren’t hooking and that Hannah is not a threat. Hannah wins because she gets a free shot. Lexi wins because she gets a free shot and gets to meet a cool person like yourself. You win because awesome hot chicks like us let you buy us shots. Go forth and conquer, my friends.

She’s a female on tinder plz and thank you 🙌🏼

The characters: Downstairs neighbor - single man in his mid 30s Upstairs neighbor - 25 year old female living with her SO The scene: Upstairs neighbor's SO was out of town for 2 weeks, and Upstairs neighbor had gotten her car stuck in the icy driveway. Texted Downstairs neighbor to ask where rocksalt may be in the garage (one of only 4 texts that had occurred between these two parties during the full year of them being neighbors). Downstairs neighbor responds with the location of the rocksalt. The next morning - 6am Downstairs neighbor begins texting conversation with Upstairs neighbor. Somehow resulted in these lines "Wanna come down stairs? I have Netflix" After a cordial refusal and a few more sporadic texts, he goes for the clincher "I have often thought about being intimate with you"