Found Pick up lines

*tip: use this when you know they are hot, single, and in your area for better results.

And one of them is you 😏

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

cos if he did he would say the earth revolves around you

I already found my happy meal ;)

Your orgasm, wanna come get it or should I come give to you!

But I think I found a Match

They found, in my blood samples, a drug called YOU , girl. The police department is Horny police.

In a room, in a building, on a street, in a town, in a state, in a country, on a continent, on a planet, in a solar system, in a galaxy, in a UNIVERSE.... and you still found a way IN to my heart :)

Cause i think about you everyday (so this time ill just directly say it here:sry if someone already postet it here it isnt a repost i found that On ig!)

Crush: OMG!! What?🤭 Me: You’re Smile🥴😫

you’re my type

God lost an angel because I am look at you right now.

Because I just found you venting down into my heart.

I believe that I have found the ultimate pick up line

I found their missing princess

Alright so this one is super long and super dumb but maybe it’ll get you a laugh or a restraining order. Here we go: Once upon a time there was a bunny who got lost from her home. She wandered and wandered for hours and then she came across a black bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home. To that, the black bunny replied: “sure, but you’ve gotta make me happy first.” So they fuck and then the black bunny, satisfied, points her towards the south. However, the poor bunny found herself lost again and continued to wander. But then she came across a white bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home and to that, the white bunny replied: “sure, but you’ve gotta make me happy first.” So they fuck and then the white bunny, satisfied, points her towards the east. But the poor bunny found herself lost yet again and continued to wander until she came across a brown bunny. She asked him if he could show her the way home and to that, the brown bunny replied: “sure, but you’ve gotta make me happy first.” The poor bunny is exhausted but she needs to get home so she obliged. They fuck and then the brown bunny, satisfied, points her towards the north. Finally, the bunny made her way home, but by the time she got back, she was pregnant and soon had babies. What color fur did her babies have? [person of interest throws out guesses as to what color the babies were and you tell them that all their answers are wrong.] When they give up and finally ask what color the babies are, hit em with: “sure I’ll tell you but you’ve gotta make me happy first”.

Me: I just found out the world is flat Her: no it isn’t, silly Me: you are my world

Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.

Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was … \[21:35, 13/04/2020\] Barrocas: Want to know how I went from Loser Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time? Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was just like a gay friend. Eventually I met a girl through a coworker. This was the first girl that actually got an interest in me. I even got her number. I would wait desperately when it was her turn to text me back or freak out when she didn´t reply immediately. When she replied I had seen on internet that i should not reply right away but I was really tempted and desperate. I eventually fucked that up. I got needy and she stopped replying. Since that moment I really got pissed! I got really frustrated so I decided I had to change something otherwise I would stay in this road FOREVER! I decided to start going out by myself. First started watching some videos and i thought what I was seeing there was way out of my reality. (I was watching just random videos of pranks and then I find out that they were all these videos about "game".) Couldn't believe what i was seeing in these videos. No way that was real! Lol I went out and I first tried to talk to girls but was too hard and way to out of my comfort zone. This is where a lot of guys go WRONG and just give up. Instead I decided to accept that I sucked, and went very small. Started by asking random simple things to people like going to old people and ask for directions or the time. I just wanted to be building up over time 1% every day. During my beginnings I had a lot of friends telling me to go to hookers and I told them to F\*\* off, “I am going to show you I can do it on my own”. Eventually, because I was going out by myself and pushing my limits, over time I started talking to girls. (that got me in some really funny stories like being arrested by the police but that is for another time 🤣) Finally after 5 months of going out i lost my virginity with a girl i approached in my town!! After 6 months found the Game community in Lisbon and met some guys I could go out with. After some time i started to get some more sporadic results and other close calls. Built my way up in the community and started organizing seminar in hotels and doing public speaking, giving value to the community. 2 years in finally found a real life mentor Dhurba Shrestha. He is what we call a "Natural" We went out for all full summer. We had a lot threesomes and gangbangs and even failed a couple of foursomes. We had a lot of fun! I learned a lot by going out with him and observing him. Became way more relaxed and natural than I was before. Now i look back and think how gamey I was. I talk way less and the impact of my words is way more powerful. Today when I say “Hi” it has the same impact has a huge opener. He really helped me go to the next level way quicker. I never thought I could have gang bangs…and girls actually love it!! The main thing that I learned from it was to not to be so possessive over a girl. To be able to share with another guy you must let go of that feeling of possession ( emotional attachment). So to finish off, You might think that right now you suck at talking to girls and it is difficult and hard But don't give up!! If you can't find help and you are by yourself and approaching girls is too hard for you.. Start with baby stepping!! Start talking to old people like I did and then build from there.. Slowly with time and pushing yourself a bit everyday you will start talking to girls Despite what i said previously, ideally you should not try this by yourself of course. Look for other wings to go out with, to motivate you or find someone better than you that is willing to mentor you or exchange some value so you can be around them and learn from them. Hope it was helpful Peace out 😘

Cuz I'm McLovin it Also I just found out my bf is a lurker here and now everything makes sense

I'm reaching out to a girl that I found on a dating app. She's given the code word (duck) to be put in so she understands the context as she isn't active on the dating app.

I'll watch you do a spreadie, screw with a million people, catch me, take my breath away then finally leave me with a massive debt and a depression that can't be fixed, leading me to a life of heavy drinking, self isolation and an eventual heroin overdose in a ditch with my mangled, dirty body never to be found without a soul on earth caring.

My nigga they found The bodies in the shed

Who found each other

(Setup: Before you try this you need to preplan and have a piece of jewellery or something with you. IE... bracelet, necklace, etc even if it's plastic junk) ... "Excuse me does this belong to you?" (hold out jewellery) HER: "Nooo???" "Are you sure?" HER: "Yeahhh" "Oh, well I found it at the other end of the bar and the guy there said it belonged to the prettiest girl in the bar, so I figured it was yours" ... works 100% of the time.

This is going to sound super corny. But were you one of the babies found in the roscas de Reyes? Because you are blessed. happy birthday.

Because there’s a new issue with you every single day. (Disclaimer: not an original pickup line, found it elsewhere on Reddit)

Becuase I found you at y:12

cus u look like an armadillo species found in parts of northern Argentina, southwestern Brazil, Paraguay, and Bolivia, at elevations from sea level to 770 m (2,530 ft).

Girl are you a pinky toe cause I'd bang you on my couch. (Not my own creation heard it from a friend who probably found it online)

Well, I just found someone way more cute.....

Cuz you have an accent that’s very similar to the accents of the people that I met that are from Tennessee, and I saw a Tennessee license plate outside, so someone here is probably from Tennessee. (Found in r/antijokes, thought u guys would appreciate it).

I'm glad I found you

This girl is living in London. I'm not, not even around England. She'll be visiting my country next month, which is, very near. We met online, never met each other in real life but we've been exchanging messages well over 4 months and now we got closer thanks to my effort. Today she just messaged me in a sense that I'm kind of special to HER. This is exact quote from her "I feel comfortable talking with you in general.", "I only speak this frequently and this regularly with my real college friends". She's feeling comfortable towards me but I don't want all my efforts go into a friendzone. So I'm like, what's next? What do I do now? One time, she asked me about a nice restaurant in my town. Should I slip that into my next conversation like "Hey, I've found this nice tea place that offers English tea cake on the way back home. Do you want to check out this place when you visit here? To see if it's authentic or not (or something) Thing is, her profile on online app still says "I'm not here for looking for dates". But this could be a lie, right? Especially she seems to like me (as a friend as of NOW, of course. Later this will turn into boom-boom pow partner) Are there any advices you guys can give me on this situation?

This isn't a pickup line per se, but I've always found this situation to be frustrating. She's super hot, but you can't chat her up during your transaction-- it doesn't take long enough, and you can't just stand there holding up the people behind you. So here's what I do (and it's worked a couple times). What you'll need: A pen, a post-it note, and a little bit of stealth What you do: Walk into the store, ID the girl you want to talk to. As soon as you walk in, make sure she can't see you put the pen on the counter-- a good way to do this is to do it as you bend down to tie your shoes (leave one shoe untied to make it more convincing). When you're checking out, put your items on the counter and put your post-it note to the side (maybe take it out of your pocket as if you're looking for your money/wallet/card and just want to discard it for a second). This is where the pen from the beginning comes in. Ask her "Hey, can I borrow that pen?" She'll assume it's the store's, and she'll say sure. While she's ringing you up, write your name and number on the post-it note. Take your items and your change, and then give her this: "Oh, here's your pen back... thanks. And here's my phone number. Call me." And then calmly walk out of the door with a smile on your face. MAKE SURE YOU SMILE. Add a wink if you're feeling particularly confident. It also helps if you can at least make small talk during the process-- try to make her laugh or smile. Like I said, this has worked for me at least twice, and one time it didn't work, the girl still said it was "cute." Just thought I'd share a solution to a problem I hate. Didn't really know where else to put it. This is gonna get downvoted straight to the eighth circle of Hell, isn't it? :-(

but I found a whole new world with you.

This happened to me a few weeks ago and I'm pretty proud of this line I made up. I was walking around in a department store with this girl, and a worker came up to us and asked "Do you guys need any help?" I responded with the usual "No thanks" and then quickly added "I already found everything I'm looking for" My friend gasped a little, and as I walked away, I heard the worker say "Damn that was good."

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.