Perform Pick up lines

The best Perform pick up lines

Girl, I need to know what Bayesian update you just performed

Because that is one fine looking posterior.
📅︎ Oct 01
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Girl are you my homework?

Because I want to slam you on the desk, promise to do you all night long, get distracted, last 2 minutes, cry, turn on the tv and continue to hate myself for another weak performance
👤︎ u/Chrisvidal
📅︎ Aug 20
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Did you know I can perform a frontal lobotomy?

Cause I can screw your brains out.
📅︎ Feb 20
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Are your cheeks hands?

Cuz my performance will make them clap!
👤︎ u/wmaitla
📅︎ Aug 28
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You must be my homework

Cause I wanna slam you on my desk, forget about you, do you hard for 2 minutes, give up, and then cry about my performance
📅︎ Jan 30
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Do you need a certificate of conformity?

Cus I can (am qualifyed to) test and evaluate your performance
📅︎ Dec 05
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Hey is your middle name “A535”

Because you relieve my back pain from years of performing self felacio
📅︎ Nov 10
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Clever way to get her phone number

Say you are going to perform a magic trick to victim. Ask said person to write down their phone number on a piece of paper, but say you don't need the paper. Ask them to add up all the digits of their phone number **excluding** the middle two. Say something about how phone numbers are not entirely random, and that the middle two digits mostly **(say this exactly "in 99.9999% of cases this works")** formed from the addition of all the other digits divided by two + a special number that only you know, ask them for the addition number, then guess a random number. When it turns out to be wrong, ask for the sheet to check they did the maths right. Then turn to them and say, **"huh, I guess you are just a one in a million kinda guy/girl"**
👤︎ u/Deathsmith8
📅︎ Apr 21
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