Upon Pick up lines

Cause you are the first thing my brain and heart have agreed upon;)

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Alright so this one is super long and super dumb but maybe it’ll get you a laugh or a restraining order. Here we go: Once upon a time there was a bunny who got lost from her home. She wandered and wandered for hours and then she came across a black bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home. To that, the black bunny replied: “sure, but you’ve gotta make me happy first.” So they fuck and then the black bunny, satisfied, points her towards the south. However, the poor bunny found herself lost again and continued to wander. But then she came across a white bunny and asked him if he could point her the way home and to that, the white bunny replied: “sure, but you’ve gotta make me happy first.” So they fuck and then the white bunny, satisfied, points her towards the east. But the poor bunny found herself lost yet again and continued to wander until she came across a brown bunny. She asked him if he could show her the way home and to that, the brown bunny replied: “sure, but you’ve gotta make me happy first.” The poor bunny is exhausted but she needs to get home so she obliged. They fuck and then the brown bunny, satisfied, points her towards the north. Finally, the bunny made her way home, but by the time she got back, she was pregnant and soon had babies. What color fur did her babies have? [person of interest throws out guesses as to what color the babies were and you tell them that all their answers are wrong.] When they give up and finally ask what color the babies are, hit em with: “sure I’ll tell you but you’ve gotta make me happy first”.

I think of the weirdest shit when I'm alone on a bus, and I never even use pick up lines xD

I never planned upon doing your homework

Would you like to have greatness thrust upon you?

Because I sure do want to kill myself. However, the possibility of an afterlife instills me with abounding despair, for if there truly is a Heaven, then equally as true must be a Hell. Given the uncountable sins of my lifetime heretofore, it is with absolute certainty that my eternal soul would be condemned to the lake of fire, should it exist at all. O' how sweet the thought of endless oblivion! A serene nothingness that lasts thoughout all of time, and is over at once. Beyond the heat death of our universe, a multi-trillion year sempiternity to those who wake, I would glide in an instant. Knowing such a nonexistence awaited me at my death has been my only comfort for many years. However, laying eyes upon you has all but abolished that comfort. Your angelic presence casts doubt upon such a fate. For how could one as beautiful as you originate from a realm other than Paradise?