Ahead Pick up lines

The best Ahead pick up lines

girl if you were mine, I would treat you like my homework..........I would slam you on the table and do you all night.

never actually had the ball's to try it on a girl but anyone want to try go ahead
📅︎ Feb 04
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Roses are red, go ahead and brozone me

Now let's make an inbred
📅︎ Jan 06
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Girl, is ur sign stop or dangerous curves ahead?

;)
👤︎ u/Mom1o1
📅︎ Aug 27
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Trigger Warning: Offensive pick-up line ahead

Hey girl, you can call me the North Tower. Cause I put out for 102 minutes then leave you in pieces on the ground.
👤︎ u/jacencross
📅︎ Dec 16
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Hey girl, you wanna go out in public with me some time?

Because I'd love showing off to the entire world that you're with me. We can go anywhere you want to go. I'll buy dinner and pay for our movie tickets too. Genuinely no expectation for sex because just knowing you want to spend time with me would get me off. We can get ice creams and lick each other's flavors. Like in super slow motion. If you choke on something I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you alive because when we do have sexual intercourse it will only be with your not dead body. Every time I see you my heart does multiple somersaults inside and I wish you could somehow feel that feeling it gives me so you'd have some idea of how fully head over heels I am for you and that luscious body you're packing into that outfit of yours. When we do make sweet love to each other's bodies you will always finish first. In fact if you don't bust a lady nut I won't be busting a jizz nut either. If you send me nudes not only will I never share them with anybody else ever I will also make sure and keep them inside encrypted folders on external drives that I keep in my 6 foot fire proof safe. Any time I use them to pleasure my weiner dong I'll make sure to put the nudes back into the safe immediately. Before I even clean up the mess you made me make because I was thinking about you and you got me so horny I couldn't even properly prepare ahead of time and get the paper towels ready so I just launched the baby batter right into my belly button. And when our date is over I'm going to be waiting by my phone anxiously awaiting your next texts to find out when I can set eyes on you again. What really confuses me is how I survived all my life without you because now that I know you girl, I can't live another moment without you in my life. Ok so, pick you up around 5?
👤︎ u/muckrak3r
📅︎ Feb 20
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This one is a little more elaborate

You go up to the girl and tell her: 'Hey, I've got this magic clock, it tells me if people are wearing underwear. Right now it tells me that you are not wearing any underwear' she: 'But I am' you:'Damn the clock's five minutes ahead of time'
👤︎ u/denstreef
📅︎ Aug 27
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