Almost Pick up lines

The best Almost pick up lines

I’m a heavy dude/former slovenly lothario and this one worked almost every time.

FYI: This is the condensed version. I had to work for it. It wasn’t as simple as just a few sentences. “Hey there! I’m Dave.” ((makes small talk...tries to get date)) Her: “Yeah, thanks but no thanks.” Me: “Why not? Is it my size? I mean, yeah, I’m fat, but so?” Her: “You said it, not me.” Me: “Ah, come on. There are a ton of guys out there named Dave I bet you’d go out with, but have you ever been out with a ton of guy named Dave?” Her: ((laughs...panties drop))
📅︎ Aug 25
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She asked if I wanna have a threemsome...

So the obvious answer is yes, I do. But here's the back story: Back in August, I slid into this girl's DMs. We exchanged a couple playful messages and that was that. I hit her back up again in September just to keep things warm. Then in October I asked, "are you almost ready?" She said, "for what?" I said, "our coffee date." She replied, "I might be ready by December lmao." She could've said that because maybe she had shit going on at the time or if she wasn't interested maybe think I'd forget about her by then. Well, I almost did lol and then I remembered today so I hit her up and said, "Since I'm nice I gave you a little extra time. You ready now?" However, she replied with "wanna have a threemsome with my future gf?" Keep in mind, we hadn't talked since October and it was about a coffee date, we don't follow each other and this was her reply. Now 9 times outta 10 if a girl asked this I'd suspect it to be some simp test or her being bored and just fucking with me with no intention of actually...fucking with me. But right when she sent this message she also looked at my profile and liked a recent (shirtless) photo of me which I don't think a girl with zero interest would do. But at the same time even girls with interest don't straight up ask if you wanna have sex, let alone a threemsome with a "future" gf? Futures gf? Which that's a whole other mindfuck. So I guess the question is, how do I respond with being open to it if it's the 1 out of 10 times she's serious about it, but also not come across as a needy simp to the effect of "omg I would love to!"
👤︎ u/aquariex24
📅︎ Jan 14
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Do you know what’s almost as good looking as you?

A picture of you
📅︎ Mar 16
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Hey girl, were you almost tardy

Because you barely got back.
👤︎ u/tregary816
📅︎ Nov 21
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Are you West Virginia?

Cuz you’re almost heaven
👤︎ u/crayonboiz
📅︎ Nov 12
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Want to know how I went from Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time?

Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was … \[21:35, 13/04/2020\] Barrocas: Want to know how I went from Loser Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time? Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was just like a gay friend. Eventually I met a girl through a coworker. This was the first girl that actually got an interest in me. I even got her number. I would wait desperately when it was her turn to text me back or freak out when she didn´t reply immediately. When she replied I had seen on internet that i should not reply right away but I was really tempted and desperate. I eventually fucked that up. I got needy and she stopped replying. Since that moment I really got pissed! I got really frustrated so I decided I had to change something otherwise I would stay in this road FOREVER! I decided to start going out by myself. First started watching some videos and i thought what I was seeing there was way out of my reality. (I was watching just random videos of pranks and then I find out that they were all these videos about "game".) Couldn't believe what i was seeing in these videos. No way that was real! Lol I went out and I first tried to talk to girls but was too hard and way to out of my comfort zone. This is where a lot of guys go WRONG and just give up. Instead I decided to accept that I sucked, and went very small. Started by asking random simple things to people like going to old people and ask for directions or the time. I just wanted to be building up over time 1% every day. During my beginnings I had a lot of friends telling me to go to hookers and I told them to F\*\* off, “I am going to show you I can do it on my own”. Eventually, because I was going out by myself and pushing my limits, over time I started talking to girls. (that got me in some really funny stories like being arrested by the police but that is for another time 🤣) Finally after 5 months of going out i lost my virginity with a girl i approached in my town!! After 6 months found the Game community in Lisbon and met some guys I could go out with. After some time i started to get some more sporadic results and other close calls. Built my way up in the community and started organizing seminar in hotels and doing public speaking, giving value to the community. 2 years in finally found a real life mentor Dhurba Shrestha. He is what we call a "Natural" We went out for all full summer. We had a lot threesomes and gangbangs and even failed a couple of foursomes. We had a lot of fun! I learned a lot by going out with him and observing him. Became way more relaxed and natural than I was before. Now i look back and think how gamey I was. I talk way less and the impact of my words is way more powerful. Today when I say “Hi” it has the same impact has a huge opener. He really helped me go to the next level way quicker. I never thought I could have gang bangs…and girls actually love it!! The main thing that I learned from it was to not to be so possessive over a girl. To be able to share with another guy you must let go of that feeling of possession ( emotional attachment). So to finish off, You might think that right now you suck at talking to girls and it is difficult and hard But don't give up!! If you can't find help and you are by yourself and approaching girls is too hard for you.. Start with baby stepping!! Start talking to old people like I did and then build from there.. Slowly with time and pushing yourself a bit everyday you will start talking to girls Despite what i said previously, ideally you should not try this by yourself of course. Look for other wings to go out with, to motivate you or find someone better than you that is willing to mentor you or exchange some value so you can be around them and learn from them. Hope it was helpful Peace out 😘
📅︎ Apr 14
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[50F to 30M] You're French. Look at your President. Everything is possible in this country.

I almost fell for it.
👤︎ u/amendCommit
📅︎ Feb 18
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Hey girl are you my orgasm?

Because I almost have you
👤︎ u/kaymas2
📅︎ Nov 13
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see that yellow ball on the sky?

it's almost as hot as you
👤︎ u/AshDus7
📅︎ Aug 18
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My best friend is going to be deployed for Valentine’s Day so her fiancé is making a box full of cards for her to open so she will still feel loved. Any good suggestions for a dirty Valentine?

From a gal-pal to a gal-pal, she’s been my best friend for almost 10 years! Her partner is amazing and I’m so excited that they asked me to participate. For reference, the card my message will be written on has a cat on it, so on theme would be great but I’m open to suggestions! I have zero game.
📅︎ Feb 01
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Pickup lines for the name Rain

Let your amazing brain generate the best it could, guys. My IRL name is Rain. I'm not from an english speaking country, but people still get the jokes. --- Some, which I've collected/thought/heard throughout the years: The weather forecast told me today, that Rain is "coming" today (and you will get wet) A fun fact, did you know, that Rain has made almost every woman in the world wet? Use a protection while Rain is coming... Like an umbrella. Do you know Pitbull? Cuz I'd like to Rain over you. Hey, I'm globally famous, ask anyone if they know Rain. If you'll be with me, you wouldn't have to listen to 10 hour Rain sounds on YouTube to be relaxed. If you want to know how deep I can go, just google "Rain qoutes."
👤︎ u/Rainkk
📅︎ Mar 21
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