Didn't Pick up lines

That you were the best place to eat out

Can I?

You can $timulus my package ;)

Because you got my heart racing

But baby you'd walrus be mine.

what perfect was until I met you.

I told her I'm not built to climb mountains and on the heights she stands I'm not sure I could breathe long enough to express what I see.

but, I want you to be my boo

I only have 10% of battery left. But i'm still 100% into you

Coz you just gave me sparks with those pair of beautiful eyes

Until i met you

I'd still fall for you..

Because with you around, I can see the world more beautifully.

Because you're a peach

Because you sure raised my cock.

But they don't allow to bring your own snacks. Edit: honestly didn't expect it to blow up this much lol

If I didn't have these items would you still check me out?

Sorry sorry didn't meant to come out as a creep

So I was chilling one night right, really hungry. Didn't feel like leaving the house so I called my friend and was like "hey can you grab me some 5 guys?" He was like "word" and went over to buy some. About 2 hours later he finally gets back, and I'm like about to about to fucking starve to death. As I'm shoveling this burger into my mouth I was kind of curious so I asked him "hey so what happened? Was traffic really that bad or what?" And he was like "nah.. It was just a really long pickup line"

You walked past and it didn't go off

Didn't your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

I was scrolling through hot and didn't see you

Once I got an Idea to hit pickup lines on Instagram. So I created anonymous account and gained some fake followers and then started DM with cheesy pickup lines. After many DMs a girl replied "Ankh se goli maar kr udda dungi😌😏". But I didn't Stop to hit more pickups 😂. But got blocked for 4 days and requested me by 'asking who are you ?' Again I hit 'Do you know me ?' She replied 'Kon hooo bhai' "Oh that's right, we've only met in my dreams" She : Aww that was cute 🥰 ...But I have a boyfriend.. sorry Me : even goal has a goalkeeper but still we score She : 😂😂😂omg!!! Ima take that from you You should follow me so I can see your insta . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . And FU*K oucht

Cause I didn't see you in my hot singles list last week

DaVinci painted the Mona Lisa cause he didn't have you - Day 49

Because I'll never, ever let you go. And Jeffery Epstein didn't kill himself.

And it was showing me hot posts. But i didn't see you around

didn't Epstein actually kill himself?

There was a mistake in this week's music charts. They didn't have you as the hottest single. You must be the square root of a negative because there's no way you can be real Are you my student loan cuz you got my interest (works for college plus it's funny) I'd never play hide and seek with you cuz someone like you is impossible to find I think I need to call 9-1-1 because something has just been stolen from me...my heart

It's a cotton and polyester blend... what you thought I was going to say boyfriend or girlfriend material didn't you. Well, you are wrong. Don't assume I like you if you don't even know me. On the flip side, your clothes look so soft that we should cuddle.

cause you're my "Za Warudo". >(Jojo reference if anyone didn't get it)

I was talking with a girl and she said how she was disappointed in me because I didn't study for a test, and I said "speaking of ways I can disappoint you, do you want to date?" and I don't know HOW that didn't work. Also, around a month later she and I were packing up and leaving class and I said "I think you dropped something" and she said "what?" and I said "your standards. Are they low enough yet that you want to date?"

What's the weirdes pick-up line you've ever used that succeeded? I'll go first; ''What's the difference between you and an armadillo? I didn't jerk off to an armadillo five minutes ago.''

Go up to a girl smoking a cigarette and say "excuse me but smoking isn't allowed here" Then when she reacts say "oh, I didn't even know you had a cigarette; I was talking about you because you are smoking" You're welcome.

She sat and I asked what she wanted before going to the counter to order, she said double double (Canadian for two cream two sugar) so I went and ordered then brought back our drinks. I gave her the coffee and said "I didn't add any sugar because you're already sweet enough". She looked at me and said "shut the fuck up". My mom didn't find it funny, but the girl at the table next to me did. We now have a lunch date this afternoon. TL;DR Used pick up line on my mom, now have a date with a cute girl

I was checking out at a grocery store, there was a nice look lady in front of me seemed to be my age and the cashier didn't see her cart she asked if we were together, (she didn't see the little separator stick) I replied "We aren't yet", got a laugh and a number !!! BOOYAH!

I didn't want to have to post this, but I've done a decent bit of searching andcouldn't find any. I guess there aren't many brown things people would want to be compared to.

This isn't a pickup line per se, but I've always found this situation to be frustrating. She's super hot, but you can't chat her up during your transaction-- it doesn't take long enough, and you can't just stand there holding up the people behind you. So here's what I do (and it's worked a couple times). What you'll need: A pen, a post-it note, and a little bit of stealth What you do: Walk into the store, ID the girl you want to talk to. As soon as you walk in, make sure she can't see you put the pen on the counter-- a good way to do this is to do it as you bend down to tie your shoes (leave one shoe untied to make it more convincing). When you're checking out, put your items on the counter and put your post-it note to the side (maybe take it out of your pocket as if you're looking for your money/wallet/card and just want to discard it for a second). This is where the pen from the beginning comes in. Ask her "Hey, can I borrow that pen?" She'll assume it's the store's, and she'll say sure. While she's ringing you up, write your name and number on the post-it note. Take your items and your change, and then give her this: "Oh, here's your pen back... thanks. And here's my phone number. Call me." And then calmly walk out of the door with a smile on your face. MAKE SURE YOU SMILE. Add a wink if you're feeling particularly confident. It also helps if you can at least make small talk during the process-- try to make her laugh or smile. Like I said, this has worked for me at least twice, and one time it didn't work, the girl still said it was "cute." Just thought I'd share a solution to a problem I hate. Didn't really know where else to put it. This is gonna get downvoted straight to the eighth circle of Hell, isn't it? :-(

But she didn't say I couldn't tongue punch your fart box.

Got to a girl say you're looking pretty If she says thanks i have a boyfriend !!! .. tell her i didn't purpose you but it's really sad to know about your problem

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.