Laid Pick up lines

The best Laid pick up lines

How to get laid in 5 esay steps

1 find a girl. 2 get her a drink 3 think of the best pick up line, better than anyone has ever thought of. 4 for repeat what you said in your head. "Are you my pinky toe, cuz your cute, little, and I know I'm gonna smash you against the coffee table later🥴" 5 get laid
📅︎ Jan 10
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When I 1st laid eyes on you, I immediately signed up to be an organ donor. Do you know why?

Because I want to give my heart to you
👤︎ u/nahcekimcm
📅︎ Mar 23
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How do I know I’ll get laid at the end of the night?¿

“Because I’m bigger than you...”
👤︎ u/mrkdbywp
📅︎ Jun 28
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This is an original. I came up with on the spot

This was many years ago maybe 1981 or 82. I was dancing with girl at a club. She seemed nice and she did agree to dance with me. So I wanted to say something cleaver and out of nowhere, I am Like “Would you ever consider having sex with a Complete Stranger” she gets this puzzled look and says No! Well than allow me to introduce myself, My name is Michael and I offer her my hand. She laughed and shock my hand and gave me her name. I said now we are not strangers. She laughed again. It didn’t get me laid that night, but that night lead to another date and eventually into her pants.
📅︎ Feb 13
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Fuck me if I am wrong

But I do have a chance of getting laid with you,right?
📅︎ May 31
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Hey, wanna pretend to be Christmas presents?

and get laid under the tree ;)
📅︎ Nov 05
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Geeky] Can you verify that you're human *get out picture of a captcha* because you are the most beautiful creature I've ever laid upon

I think of the weirdest shit when I'm alone on a bus, and I never even use pick up lines xD
👤︎ u/ZeyvGaming
📅︎ Apr 11
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How to get laid tonight?

How to get laid? 1. Lay on the bed. 2. Wait for an hour until Lay becomes past tense
📅︎ Mar 15
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DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR INNER BELIEFS?

This is not a process that comes in one day. This is how I went about it. One thing you must do is to be constantly learning. Watch and follow different people and coaches and try to take and adapt the information to your specific situation. You must be always questioning what they are saying don´t just accept what they say at face value. Even experts have their own blind spots!! While I was gaming, I was following different people with different approaches, then question those approaches and take my own conclusions. So how did I shift my paradigm? I was always curious. You reinforce the paradigm you are in when you do it over and over again, and that happens because you do not question it. For me it was always about questioning. When I saw other behaviors, I asked: “Where am I doing that?" "Where am I acting like that?” It is easier to watch others and see where they are fucking up but much harder to be self-aware and see where you are fucking up. Until you bring it to your awareness!! Being curious about your own mindset, your own thoughts, your own emotions. Ask “why should I feel like this or why I assume this is normal. Is there a way to see myself that is better? I Was always questioning myself and pushing. Don´t assume what you are doing is the right thing, and that what you are doing is the best you can do. Always question it. Is what I am doing the best thing I could be doing? What alternatives are there? What reality am I assuming to be true? For example, there is the belief that game is painful and hard. Is it really? Or is what you are doing, and your perception that gives you that idea? Maybe if you shift your perception this can help you perceive it has fun. You can see rejection has a negative outcome of the interaction. Or you can see has you are playing a video game and you went up one experience point in your journey and your character is becoming stronger each interaction you go in. Instead of just thinking what “did I do wrong. I am so stupid”. You can think “what was fun in this interaction?” Shifting your perception can help you change your beliefs about yourself and what you are doing. Are you always questioning yourself: “WHY AM I DOING THIS?” A great and enlightening exercise is to Ask why I am doing this and go to the bottom of it- ask “WHY” several times in a row (at least 5 times) until you reach the deepest why. After asking these questions constantly after some time I realized that one of the main reasons I was gaming was that I was looking for validation from woman and the man in the community. I realized I was in for the wrong reasons and I was not really enjoying the process. Even when I got laid, I was not enjoying it, I was elsewhere, thinking I was getting another lay count. When I started to question those things, I stopped looking for validation. Once you realize this and let go of it, your Game starts improving. You become less worried about the outcomes of the interaction and what other people will think. Women start feeling it that you are more present, and less needy. What happens is that you feel less the need to try to control the outcome and you are carefree of it. The more you release of the need to try to control everything the better are your results. Seems counter intuitive but it is what I experienced. Because you are not good enough you think you always must keep talking. You’re afraid she is going to go away. If you get rid of that fear, do what you feel like doing. Paradoxically that is what is going to get you laid more. You must start being aware of your thoughts and how you feel, then you must start thinking that you are good enough. This comes with time while taking action and getting better, your confidence will improve, and your beliefs will shift. When you believe that you are good enough and lose the need to try and control the outcomes is when you have more control and you EXPLODE your results. Hope it was helpful Peace 😘
📅︎ Apr 07
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What's the longest you've ever held your breath?

That's not nearly as long as how breath-taken I was when I first laid my eyes on you.
👤︎ u/jhoashmo
📅︎ Jan 22
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Pickup line for Isabella

Guys need some help, i want to get laid.
👤︎ u/MufinsCat
📅︎ Jun 02
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Hey girl, are you a plumber?

Cause I have a pipe that needs to be laid!
👤︎ u/nickyobro
📅︎ Mar 04
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That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
👤︎ u/Osborne26
📅︎ Jan 29
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