Anything Pick up lines

The best Anything pick up lines

If i could change anything in english...

I would make "you" become "mine"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Hoper_21
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 12
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I'd do Anything for you

Especially You
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/fryan4
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 09
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What to actually say when approaching somebody

A lot of guys say โ€œI donโ€™t know what to say when I approach a woman,โ€ so I decided to write this article with some tips. The thing women are most attracted to is an adventure, and a fun conversation should be an adventure where you and her are tackling a difficult, interesting, and fun subject, with you in the lead. The โ€œvalueโ€ you provide her is your leadership in the conversation, and the value she provides is that she contributes to the fun of the conversation. Your goal, therefore, is to get the conversation to a point where it is fun and interesting before she loses interest and becomes bored. To do this you must โ€œhookโ€ her with an opener, and then you can hopefully get the conversation to a point where you are talking about deep, fun, interesting stuff as quick as possible. **Openers** A compliment is a great opener because it implies that she has already done something to contribute to your emotional experience. You can say โ€œHey, you look fucking amazingโ€ or โ€œHey you look fucking hotโ€ or โ€œHey, I love your shoes, backpack, hair, etcโ€ฆโ€ or โ€œI fucking love your energy and aura.โ€ If she reacts with interest, you can follow it up with โ€œWhatโ€™s your nameโ€ or something like โ€œYou are hot, but are you nice/cool/etcโ€ฆ?โ€ If a girl is having a great time and exuding joy and positivity, I will make that the basis of my compliment and say something like โ€œYou look like you are having the most fun of any person hereโ€ or โ€œDamn, I love how you came to turn the fuck up tonightโ€ or โ€œThanks for coming. This party is so much better because of you.โ€ I can already hear you dorks squealing โ€œyou canโ€™t tell a girl she looks hot! You will look needy, creepy, etcโ€ฆโ€ Wrong. As you will learn, creepiness is when you do more for a woman than she has done for you or than she deserves. If a girl spends a bunch of time doing her hair and makeup before she goes out and you tell her that she looks great, you are doing the right amount for her. If, however, you tell her she looks hot and she brushes you off, and then you hang around staring at her with your tongue out, THEN you look creepy. A simple and effective opener is to introduce yourself. โ€œHi, my name is X. Whatโ€™s yours?โ€ This is good for more formal situations where you canโ€™t go around telling girls they look fucking hot. If you are in a party or something where everybody knows each other, you should introduce yourself to every single girl there as a matter of course. You can also keep it simple and go with โ€œHey, how are you?โ€ or โ€œWhatโ€™s going on with you?โ€ or โ€œHey, whatโ€™s up?โ€ Because these statements have relatively low emotional impact, you need to deliver them with extra intensity. If a woman is mid-conversation with somebody else, you can butt in and say โ€œHey Iโ€™m really sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to say you look fucking amazing.โ€ If there is a group, you can hand out compliments to the entire group, but you should quickly settle on one woman and make it clear to everybody that she is your target. If you want to get a little spicy, you can try the following: โ€œSorry for interrupting, but you are too hot for this place.โ€ If you want to get extra extra spicy, you can say โ€œyou are too hot for these guys you are with.โ€ If the girl is clearly too good for the guys she is with and is clearly unhappy with them, this can work. Otherwise, it is risky. โ€œSo, whatโ€™s your deal?โ€ (with a sly grin) โ€œCongratulations, whatโ€™s it like to be the hottest girl in this club?โ€ If you have a friend with you, a very effective approach is to go up to the girls and introduce them to your friends. For some reason, this technique has been very effective for me, and I am not sure why. It might be because I am immediately giving my friend social proof in front of the women, or maybe it is because my friend does not look needy because he is technically not the one doing the approach. For whatever reason, it works. Many men approach women and immediately lose confidence or their mind goes blank. To prevent yourself from doing this, I suggest at least one follow up line to keep the conversation going. โ€œWhere were you before this?โ€ or โ€œWhat have you been up to tonight?โ€ โ€œWhat did you do today?โ€ (This one sounds weird but it is actually very effective. Everybody is thinking about what they did that day, and it sounds like something you would hear from somebody you were close with). โ€œWhat brings you here tonight?โ€ โ€œHave you been here before?โ€ โ€œAre you having a fun night?โ€ โ€œHow do you guys know each other?โ€ (when there are two people) For your second line, you can also use one of your other openers. For example, if you open with โ€œhey my name isโ€ your second line can be โ€œyou look fucking hot.โ€ If you think those lines are corny and you think you can do better, then fuck off and think of your own. Remember, these scripted lines are back-up plans for when you cannot think of anything else. It is always better to be in the moment. What you say doesnโ€™t matter as much as how you say it. **Deep conversation subjects** Ideally, your goal should be to get the conversation as deep as possible as quickly as possible. The purpose is for you and her to go on an adventure and โ€œconquerโ€ the difficult question. Here are some go-to questions I use, including my answers for these questions. What is the craziest thing you believe? (My answer: I believe in mind reading) Do you believe in ghosts? Aliens? (My answer: I am open to anything being true) What is your favorite conspiracy theory? (My answer: That Paul McCartney died in a car accident in the 60s and the current Paul McCartney is an imposter) What do you think a dream is? (My answer: a dream if your subconscious brain trying to help you solve a problem) If you could be any celebrity, who would you be? What is your idea of a perfect day? (Wake up, get high, go surfing, drink some cappuccino, have a delicious meal, fuck somebody I like) What do you think love is? (My answer: when you commit to doing the best thing for the other person, no matter what โ€˜the bestโ€™ is) What do you think a true friend is? (My answer: somebody who will be there for you at 3 AM). What superpower would you have if you could have any? (My answer: flying) What would you do if you had all the money in the world (My answer: buy myself an island and help poor people) What are you reading now? (My answer: whatever I am reading at that time). Other good subjects are drug stories, stories about times you did something really stupid, uplifting stories about a time when somebody was a good friend, and stories about a time you were really scared/embarrassed/uplifted/excited. Basically, any strong emotion. Because these subjects are deep, sometimes controversial, and require vulnerability, please make sure you do not say anything rude or judgmental. If you ask somebody what the craziest thing they believe is, and then you make fun of them for it after they do it, they will not open up to you again. Most people refrain from talking about subjects like this for the very reason that they are afraid of being judged. You want her to feel comfortable, open, and vulnerability. You might say โ€œthese are pretty serious subjects to bring up to a woman.โ€ You are right โ€“ you have to find a way to talk about this stuff in a light-hearted, fun way. Take away the stigma and pressure off of these subjects and make her feel like there is no โ€œwrongโ€ answer and you are both there to have fun, not for anybody to โ€œwinโ€ or make the other person feel bad. The purpose of these questions is to spark a deep, interesting conversation that touches peopleโ€™s emotions: their desires, their fears, their values, etcโ€ฆ **Topics to Stay Away From** Stay away from anything relating to politics or religion if it something that you and her will inevitably disagree on. Also stay away from boring subjects like โ€œwhat is your favorite movie or albumโ€? That stuff is actually much less interesting and deep than people think. Stay away from exes. Stay away from subjects that could be interpreted as creepy โ€“ if you are interested in famous rapists or serial killers, you may want to keep that to yourself until you guys know each other very well.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Woujo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 22
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Hey girl, are you my homework?

Because you're probably really really good for me and it would be a good idea for me to try and persue you in hopes of self improvement but I'm just lying here thinking about it instead of actually fucking doing anything about it and it's making me feel horrible about myself. Perhaps I don't even deserve the benefits and emotional confidence I'd have earned from you had I just engaged and tried to be a better person. I'm going to die alone, dreaming of the life I could have had, had I just learned to act, rather than dream. Also uhhh because I should be slamming you on my desk and doing you all night hehehehehehehehehe. You don't have to answer. Good Night
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Pheww_
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 18
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If God made anything more beautiful than you

I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Anngered69
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 07
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Anything you wanna get off your chest?

Cause I'd love to take that bra off and give you a back rub
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/suyashve
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 23
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Roses are Red, Colors are Hue

I will do anything just to have you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ThisGuyBuff
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 25
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One For The Pokรฉmon Fans

Are you an ether...cos you just raised my PP (You could also replace ether with anything with the same effect, a leppa berry for example)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Custard_Crusader
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 24
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If I could be anything in the world ...

I'd be your man
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Honk-de-boob
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 11
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Are you the worst possible case of Covid?

Because your curves are looking anything but straight
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tristenbledsoe
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 18
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I can resist anything except temptation

And I guess you are my temptation !!
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BrownGuyKnowsNothing
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 13
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Not to make it obvious that I like you or anything

But I'm really jealous of the FBI man that gets to watch you through your camera
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Casperly
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 18
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โ€œIโ€™m bored. I have nothing to doโ€

Pick up lines come off best when you have good build ups. When she/he says something like this, build up for your climax like: โ€œYeah, since you are done with work why donโ€™t you work on some hobbiesโ€ โ€œ...โ€ after she/he says anything โ€œYou know youโ€™re also always welcome to do meโ€
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ecolocomoco
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 17
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Do you know anything about combustion?

Because I'm about to cum bust on you.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CosmicFog
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 04
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Girl are you the stock market?

'Cause I'd jump out a window if anything bad happened to you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/regularMASON
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 08
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I need to go to the eye doctor

cuz I can't see anything except you and me together ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜ณ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/that1kidinthecornerr
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 25
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I need to go to the eye doctor

Because I canโ€™t see anything except you and me together
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/saaayah
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 19
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Girl, are you yourself?

Am I me? What's going on? Where are we? Is anything even real? Do you ever move your hand to pick something up and think "how are hands even possible? And if I am dreaming, then what is my waking life going to be like?" Girl, this is all very, very complicated. Want to take a walk?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OneQuadrillionOwls
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 17
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Little urgent help pls ...

Her initial is Z and mine is Y. Anything can think of a smooth pick up line using that info ? Maybe something to do with the Alphabet song on how it ends with "YZ" ? lol
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/simplyyy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 01
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Are you a competent government?

Because I've never seen anything like you before
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/arj_gill
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 12
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Are you the projected spread of the coronavirus?

Because your curves are anything but flat
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/gephartzachary
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 07
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I donโ€™t care if you donโ€™t have a care

Because Iโ€™ll ride anything Edit: I fucking hate autocorrect, itโ€™s CAR not care.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/hey_thereDude
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 15
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Are you the projected spread of Coronavirus?

Because your curves are anything but flat.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/viviverma
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 27
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Wow, you look amazing today. Did you change anything?

How about my relationship status?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thisguyneedsaname
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 13
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Anything for a girl named misty ?

She also plays csgo, if something works out.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/-a_k-
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 17
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Are you antidisestablishmentarianism?

Because I don't know anything you but I would like to learn
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dalmatians-dawg
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 07
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Are you the projected spread of novel coronavirus in the United States?

Cause your curves are anything but flat.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CranberryKidney
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 17
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Anything for a girl named Bobby?

All I can think of is DAMMIT BOBBY
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/StevensNJ4
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 17
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Damn girl, are you crack?

Because with you I feel like I can do anything
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/throwaway42069365
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 19
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Anything for a girl named Freya???

..^ |
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Joe92walsh
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 08
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Pickup line for Heather, or anything close to that

Heather, light as a feather, Chillin on tindah, waiting for her one and only to find her
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SupportFeeder
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22
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Anything you say might and will be used against you in court of law, I'm arresting you

-For what? -For stolen my heart.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HornyPizzaBoy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 06
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I think I need to see an optician

Because my eyes can't focus on anything but you.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/divyaaaaaaaaaam
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 19
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Hey Girl are you a rainbow?

Coz your curves are anything but flat.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thisandthat1997
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 15
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Are you an enchantment table?

Because I cant understand anything you say.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/K-wis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 02
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If I could be anything right now

I would be Ice-cream so I can melt in your arms when you hold me
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Jailbyte
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 25
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Hey did it hurt when you fell from that vending machine

Not because you look like a snack, but because you look like the kind of girl who will do anything for ยฃ1.50
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sammylatchers
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 08
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U should call me Anasthetic

Cuz I'll never let anything hurt u
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tom_edw
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 19
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Are you cheese burst?

Cause I can eat anything that is, thick, white and salty. ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ashutoshsoni16
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 22
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How well do you know yourself?

Girl:*tells you any percent* Girl:how about you? Guy:Just 50% cause I don't know anything about you yet*smirks*
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/stealthreaver
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 28
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Proven Formula for Picking Up Chicks

I have created the perfect formula for helping my guy friends pick up chicks in bars. Men, all you need is one female friend or buddyโ€™s girlfriend (letโ€™s call her Hannah) to help and the hot chick you want to meet needs to be at the bar. Step 1: Hannah goes up to bar next to the hot chick you want to pick up. Step 2: Hannah compliments the hot chick on literally anything (โ€œomg I love your hair color who is your stylist?โ€ โ€œwow that jacket is awesome, where can I find oneโ€ etc.). We all love talking to chicks who say nice things about us. Step 3: While Hannah is chatting up hot girl on her right, you are buying three shots on her left. Step 4: You offer a shot to Hannah while she is still chatting up hot chick. Step 5: Hannah (loudly) claims she canโ€™t find her boyfriend who the third shot was purchased for. Since Hannah and hot chick are now BFFs, she turns to hot chick and says the following โ€œMy friend Jake here bought my boyfriend and I a shot but we canโ€™t find him anywhere, do you want to take it with us?โ€ Introduce yourself. Offer hot girl the shot. Emphasize that Hannahโ€™s boyfriend disappeared, etc. Step 6: Hot girl ALWAYS says yes because hot girls at bars love free shots. Step 7: Hannah takes a shot. Tells Lexi (all hot girls are named Lexi) it was nice to meet her, and dips out. You are left chatting up Lexi, buy her a drink, drunkenly make out with her in a corner after 2 hours, etc.p Why does this work? 1. When Hannah compliments Lexi (aka hot chick), Lexi automatically likes Hannah and sees that sheโ€™s totally normal and super nice. 2. By you being friends with Hannah, it makes you seem like a regular cool guy and you must be great if you have such cool female friends. 3. Because youโ€™re buying shots, you also seem like a pretty cool dude. Everyone loves the guy who buys people shots. 4. And most importantly, because Hannah lies about her boyfriend being in the bathroom or wherever, hot chick knows you two arenโ€™t hooking and that Hannah is not a threat. Hannah wins because she gets a free shot. Lexi wins because she gets a free shot and gets to meet a cool person like yourself. You win because awesome hot chicks like us let you buy us shots. Go forth and conquer, my friends.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Not_That_Tall
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 19
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Hey are you kobe beef?

because i would pay anything just to eat you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/wilwil100
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 17
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Yeet sign based and mainly for people already in a relationship but can be modified for otherwise

This is very much for memes but it works So say you are on a date with your bf or gf at the movie theatre. He goes to grab a piece of popcorn from the popcorn pile and you put your hand in and do the yeet sign (if you dont know it's this sign ๐Ÿ‘Œ) and if the boy says 'did you just get me?' Or anything of the sort just say 'I thought I already got you' If its for a pickup line you could say 'I'd love to get you tonight' or something.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ZladeBero
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 08
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You have the right to remain sexy

Anything you do can and will make me BUST A NUT
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/I-Identify-Guns
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 18
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Know what my couch I have in common?

We both eat anything that sits on us.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Woodyard801
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 29
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Need one for a girl named Morgan

Anything will do
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/-ButterStick-
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 22
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Pickup lines for a girl called Natalya ?

Anything is welcome (cheesy, inappropriate, romantic, etc.) as long as it's not mean.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/yumadbro6
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 25
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I need a pickup line for a girl named Zara

I cannot think of anything!
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/LloydGwent
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 01
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Pickup line for pauline?

Can't think of anything
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Black_toutie
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 21
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Pickup Line/Pun For A Brooklyn

If you can't come up with anything for a Brooklyn I'm sure a Brooke pun may work, since its probably a common nickname for her. Anything helps, my creative energy just seems drained. Cheers!
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Enchanted__YT
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 15
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Awkward, unclever male requests help with an Amber.

The description says it all. I'll take anything.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BubbleStealer
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 12
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Need a pick up line for Caroline.

Anyone got anything for this name?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/adidsuptee
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 23
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Pick up line for a girl named jordan

I can't think of anything
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Hudinator420
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 24
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Give me some pickup lines to try out in NYC!

I'm headed to NYC in about 1.5 months, and I'm excited to meet some people. Give me your pickup lines and help me out! These don't have to be NYC related pickup lines -- anything goes (sexual, funny, borderline retarded, awkward, etc.). I'll report back with results...maybe even pictures of those I meet if all goes well!?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/chhotu007
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 12
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Pick up line for Fina?

I was thinking of including aquafina but i cant come up with anything haha. Any ideas?
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/WinterNotComing
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 05
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I need a topical pickup line involving Louis CK

Having a hard time coming up with anything other than "I wanna fuck your face"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/McLovin804
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 11
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Are you a Scooby Snack?

Because I would do anything to have you
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Cheesehuman
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 10
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Need one to use for people with no bio

I try to pull from their photos, but sometimes I don't have anything to work with.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/persimelinoe
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 01
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Pick up line for nathalie

What's a good pick up line for a nathalie I can't think of anything worthy
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MnMKing
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01
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Pickup lines, One and All

Funny pickup lines, Stories of ones used on you (or you have used), Anything else that is related to pickup lines. (please give credit where it is due!) Mine? I wish i had the map to your heart. (from a book of pickup lines)
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/KingMelons
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 20
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If you ever get (and use) an opportunity to tell a girl "I don't bite," don't follow up with "Unless you want me to"

The line is cliche to the point that most girls will see it coming a mile away. Hit her with something like "I'm more of a nibbler than anything. ;-)"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RayAP19
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 02
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That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink. Itโ€™s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you canโ€™t just say โ€œhey, Iโ€™m not a rapistโ€, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Osborne26
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29
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Something with the name Audrey..

Can you do anything with this name? All I can think of is Audrious like obvious but that's horrendous.
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rachitag22
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 14
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Make small talk ("Hi, how are you," etc). If you don't get the digits immediately, drop this one: "Come on, don't be shy... I don't bite."

"I'm more of a nibbler if anything. ;-)"
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RayAP19
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 09
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