Don Pick up lines

The best Don pick up lines

I don't know of many toilet seats...

But I do know your toilet seat is the luckiest toilet seat in the world
👤︎ u/RRnn97
📅︎ Feb 16
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Girl I don’t know what could ruin my life faster

You or heroin
👤︎ u/trentonespn
📅︎ Feb 05
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Don't be sad, you're so pretty...

there's no punchline, show me your tiddies.
📅︎ Feb 20
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No means yes, but yes don't mean no

So, baby, please, take off your clothes
👤︎ u/androidy77
📅︎ Dec 26
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I don't need pi©k up lin£$

Cause they don't work on corpses.
📅︎ Jan 13
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If you don't like being wrong,

Swipe right!
👤︎ u/Izrezar
📅︎ Feb 09
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I don’t have library card,

But can I check you out?
👤︎ u/suyashve
📅︎ Dec 14
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My watch is telling me you don’t have panties on

Maybe it’s 5 minutes fast...
👤︎ u/Everestpapi
📅︎ Oct 19
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As much as I don't like playing with garbage,

I'll try not to play with your heart
👤︎ u/Sum-Dum-Fuk
📅︎ Dec 10
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There's a lot of things we don't know about the universe...

All I know is that it starts with U N I
👤︎ u/suyashve
📅︎ Oct 19
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There are lots of things we don't know about the universe.....

All I know is that it starts with U N I.
📅︎ May 04
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Are you an unfunny meme?

Cause i don't wanna share you
📅︎ Jan 19
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I don't care if I'm on ur naughty list or ur nice list

i just wanna be on ur to-do list
📅︎ Nov 08
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Hey dude, don’t know how it happened, but I lost my dick.

Mind if I borrow yours?
📅︎ Oct 25
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What to actually say when approaching somebody

A lot of guys say “I don’t know what to say when I approach a woman,” so I decided to write this article with some tips. The thing women are most attracted to is an adventure, and a fun conversation should be an adventure where you and her are tackling a difficult, interesting, and fun subject, with you in the lead. The “value” you provide her is your leadership in the conversation, and the value she provides is that she contributes to the fun of the conversation. Your goal, therefore, is to get the conversation to a point where it is fun and interesting before she loses interest and becomes bored. To do this you must “hook” her with an opener, and then you can hopefully get the conversation to a point where you are talking about deep, fun, interesting stuff as quick as possible. **Openers** A compliment is a great opener because it implies that she has already done something to contribute to your emotional experience. You can say “Hey, you look fucking amazing” or “Hey you look fucking hot” or “Hey, I love your shoes, backpack, hair, etc…” or “I fucking love your energy and aura.” If she reacts with interest, you can follow it up with “What’s your name” or something like “You are hot, but are you nice/cool/etc…?” If a girl is having a great time and exuding joy and positivity, I will make that the basis of my compliment and say something like “You look like you are having the most fun of any person here” or “Damn, I love how you came to turn the fuck up tonight” or “Thanks for coming. This party is so much better because of you.” I can already hear you dorks squealing “you can’t tell a girl she looks hot! You will look needy, creepy, etc…” Wrong. As you will learn, creepiness is when you do more for a woman than she has done for you or than she deserves. If a girl spends a bunch of time doing her hair and makeup before she goes out and you tell her that she looks great, you are doing the right amount for her. If, however, you tell her she looks hot and she brushes you off, and then you hang around staring at her with your tongue out, THEN you look creepy. A simple and effective opener is to introduce yourself. “Hi, my name is X. What’s yours?” This is good for more formal situations where you can’t go around telling girls they look fucking hot. If you are in a party or something where everybody knows each other, you should introduce yourself to every single girl there as a matter of course. You can also keep it simple and go with “Hey, how are you?” or “What’s going on with you?” or “Hey, what’s up?” Because these statements have relatively low emotional impact, you need to deliver them with extra intensity. If a woman is mid-conversation with somebody else, you can butt in and say “Hey I’m really sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to say you look fucking amazing.” If there is a group, you can hand out compliments to the entire group, but you should quickly settle on one woman and make it clear to everybody that she is your target. If you want to get a little spicy, you can try the following: “Sorry for interrupting, but you are too hot for this place.” If you want to get extra extra spicy, you can say “you are too hot for these guys you are with.” If the girl is clearly too good for the guys she is with and is clearly unhappy with them, this can work. Otherwise, it is risky. “So, what’s your deal?” (with a sly grin) “Congratulations, what’s it like to be the hottest girl in this club?” If you have a friend with you, a very effective approach is to go up to the girls and introduce them to your friends. For some reason, this technique has been very effective for me, and I am not sure why. It might be because I am immediately giving my friend social proof in front of the women, or maybe it is because my friend does not look needy because he is technically not the one doing the approach. For whatever reason, it works. Many men approach women and immediately lose confidence or their mind goes blank. To prevent yourself from doing this, I suggest at least one follow up line to keep the conversation going. “Where were you before this?” or “What have you been up to tonight?” “What did you do today?” (This one sounds weird but it is actually very effective. Everybody is thinking about what they did that day, and it sounds like something you would hear from somebody you were close with). “What brings you here tonight?” “Have you been here before?” “Are you having a fun night?” “How do you guys know each other?” (when there are two people) For your second line, you can also use one of your other openers. For example, if you open with “hey my name is” your second line can be “you look fucking hot.” If you think those lines are corny and you think you can do better, then fuck off and think of your own. Remember, these scripted lines are back-up plans for when you cannot think of anything else. It is always better to be in the moment. What you say doesn’t matter as much as how you say it. **Deep conversation subjects** Ideally, your goal should be to get the conversation as deep as possible as quickly as possible. The purpose is for you and her to go on an adventure and “conquer” the difficult question. Here are some go-to questions I use, including my answers for these questions. What is the craziest thing you believe? (My answer: I believe in mind reading) Do you believe in ghosts? Aliens? (My answer: I am open to anything being true) What is your favorite conspiracy theory? (My answer: That Paul McCartney died in a car accident in the 60s and the current Paul McCartney is an imposter) What do you think a dream is? (My answer: a dream if your subconscious brain trying to help you solve a problem) If you could be any celebrity, who would you be? What is your idea of a perfect day? (Wake up, get high, go surfing, drink some cappuccino, have a delicious meal, fuck somebody I like) What do you think love is? (My answer: when you commit to doing the best thing for the other person, no matter what ‘the best’ is) What do you think a true friend is? (My answer: somebody who will be there for you at 3 AM). What superpower would you have if you could have any? (My answer: flying) What would you do if you had all the money in the world (My answer: buy myself an island and help poor people) What are you reading now? (My answer: whatever I am reading at that time). Other good subjects are drug stories, stories about times you did something really stupid, uplifting stories about a time when somebody was a good friend, and stories about a time you were really scared/embarrassed/uplifted/excited. Basically, any strong emotion. Because these subjects are deep, sometimes controversial, and require vulnerability, please make sure you do not say anything rude or judgmental. If you ask somebody what the craziest thing they believe is, and then you make fun of them for it after they do it, they will not open up to you again. Most people refrain from talking about subjects like this for the very reason that they are afraid of being judged. You want her to feel comfortable, open, and vulnerability. You might say “these are pretty serious subjects to bring up to a woman.” You are right – you have to find a way to talk about this stuff in a light-hearted, fun way. Take away the stigma and pressure off of these subjects and make her feel like there is no “wrong” answer and you are both there to have fun, not for anybody to “win” or make the other person feel bad. The purpose of these questions is to spark a deep, interesting conversation that touches people’s emotions: their desires, their fears, their values, etc… **Topics to Stay Away From** Stay away from anything relating to politics or religion if it something that you and her will inevitably disagree on. Also stay away from boring subjects like “what is your favorite movie or album”? That stuff is actually much less interesting and deep than people think. Stay away from exes. Stay away from subjects that could be interpreted as creepy – if you are interested in famous rapists or serial killers, you may want to keep that to yourself until you guys know each other very well.
👤︎ u/Woujo
📅︎ Dec 22
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I really don't wanna let God down

By not appreciating the natural beauty that he gave you.
👤︎ u/Vrajgautam
📅︎ Oct 31
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I don’t have any pumpkins this year

Wanna be mine?
📅︎ Oct 27
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People say i don't smile much.

Bet they haven't seen me talking to you.
📅︎ Sep 03
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Don't go outside today( Diwali)

Coz firecrackers are banned
👤︎ u/fredeter
📅︎ Nov 14
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Don’t bully me for this one

I’ll make u cum so hard you’ll be shaking more than my dryer
👤︎ u/bz180135
📅︎ Nov 05
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I need to raise a complain to google

They don't have you listed as the best place to eat out this week.
👤︎ u/kallia16
📅︎ Feb 10
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Hey girl, I don’t see any Pokémon around...

but I caught some feelings for you
📅︎ Sep 23
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Yeah I tried to be very polite on the first date so I don’t blow it but

You can blow it on the first day if you want to
📅︎ Oct 19
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I'm a programmer and u know what programmers are good with?

their fingers. // Don't forget to give a creepy smile after using the line
📅︎ Feb 06
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Hey girl, are you my homework?

Because you're probably really really good for me and it would be a good idea for me to try and persue you in hopes of self improvement but I'm just lying here thinking about it instead of actually fucking doing anything about it and it's making me feel horrible about myself. Perhaps I don't even deserve the benefits and emotional confidence I'd have earned from you had I just engaged and tried to be a better person. I'm going to die alone, dreaming of the life I could have had, had I just learned to act, rather than dream. Also uhhh because I should be slamming you on my desk and doing you all night hehehehehehehehehe. You don't have to answer. Good Night
👤︎ u/Pheww_
📅︎ Jan 18
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I heard that in these times it's important to take vitamins...

I don't have A, B or C but I can give you the D
👤︎ u/Nussifabian
📅︎ Jan 29
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Don’t worry, I’m a Christian.

I always say grace before eating girls out.
👤︎ u/4_20mbi3_4
📅︎ Sep 25
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Hey girl, I don’t know much about baking pies...

But you make my banana cream.
👤︎ u/mjmurphy650
📅︎ May 12
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I don’t know a single thing about poker

But I could be the king of your heart
📅︎ Jul 27
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Are you Reddit karma?

coz I don't know how to get you ;(
📅︎ Dec 23
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Wanna go back to my place for pizza and sex?

If ahe replies no then you say why not don't you like pizza?
📅︎ Feb 19
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I’m sincerely amazed at how you people don’t realize how much you are running this /sub with all your lame ass “nice” comments!

Play a video game if you want a high score EDIT: It took me to get really drunk to finally say this, but it’s true
👤︎ u/NYRion7
📅︎ Jun 12
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I don’t care if you don’t have a care

Because I’ll ride anything Edit: I fucking hate autocorrect, it’s CAR not care.
📅︎ Sep 15
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She asked if I wanna have a threemsome...

So the obvious answer is yes, I do. But here's the back story: Back in August, I slid into this girl's DMs. We exchanged a couple playful messages and that was that. I hit her back up again in September just to keep things warm. Then in October I asked, "are you almost ready?" She said, "for what?" I said, "our coffee date." She replied, "I might be ready by December lmao." She could've said that because maybe she had shit going on at the time or if she wasn't interested maybe think I'd forget about her by then. Well, I almost did lol and then I remembered today so I hit her up and said, "Since I'm nice I gave you a little extra time. You ready now?" However, she replied with "wanna have a threemsome with my future gf?" Keep in mind, we hadn't talked since October and it was about a coffee date, we don't follow each other and this was her reply. Now 9 times outta 10 if a girl asked this I'd suspect it to be some simp test or her being bored and just fucking with me with no intention of actually...fucking with me. But right when she sent this message she also looked at my profile and liked a recent (shirtless) photo of me which I don't think a girl with zero interest would do. But at the same time even girls with interest don't straight up ask if you wanna have sex, let alone a threemsome with a "future" gf? Futures gf? Which that's a whole other mindfuck. So I guess the question is, how do I respond with being open to it if it's the 1 out of 10 times she's serious about it, but also not come across as a needy simp to the effect of "omg I would love to!"
👤︎ u/aquariex24
📅︎ Jan 14
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I don't need a super glue

I'm already stuck to you..
👤︎ u/doom_dodo
📅︎ Aug 23
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Your Dad must be a baker

Because you've got some sweet buns. My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns.
📅︎ Feb 07
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Don't be sad if you have freckles and shy

To me you're like a stary night sky
📅︎ Sep 14
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I don’t wanna be a narcissist, but I must be a 9/10

because you’re the one (1) I need :) Edit: personally never heard this one but if it seems like a repost (I wouldn’t be surprised cause it sounds like something that would be common) sorry in advance Edit 2, a better version based on a comment: Girl, ur a 9/10 bc I’m the 1 u need :)
👤︎ u/AlterideIX
📅︎ Aug 05
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Girl Are you a fan of daft punk?

Cause there might be something about us. (I just came up with it. I don't know if it's Been posted before, ive never heard it tho)
📅︎ Jan 28
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Damn girl, are you an unfunny meme?

Cus I don't wanna share you with anyone
👤︎ u/is16c
📅︎ Feb 02
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Roses are red, i'm a monkey

Why don't you bend over, so i can slap that donkey
👤︎ u/icefi1
📅︎ Jan 30
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I’m gonna keep it real with you,

I’d usually try to be your friend first but Valentines is right around the corner and we don’t have time for that. So what’s up? ;)
📅︎ Jan 26
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Hey girl are you my tail ?

Cus i don't have you.
👤︎ u/Bhavya074
📅︎ Jan 31
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I might not be good at this

Because i don't have many pickup lines, but I can pick you up and we can do lines
👤︎ u/Annupanda
📅︎ Dec 22
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What's the difference between a boner and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari.
👤︎ u/WizeTurtle
📅︎ Jan 20
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I don’t play Minecraft anymore

Because you’re the only diamond I need
📅︎ Dec 27
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[Not OC] I don't know if I should respect the fuck out of you ....

Or fuck the respect out of you
📅︎ May 25
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Hey girl I wanted to take you to the movies but

But they don't allow to bring your own snacks. Edit: honestly didn't expect it to blow up this much lol
📅︎ Sep 21
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I don use money anymore

Cause you’re the only dime I need;)
👤︎ u/Manuel1007
📅︎ Jan 06
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i don’t know how to say your last name

but once it’s mine, it’ll be easy
📅︎ Jun 18
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I wanted to take you to the movies...

But I don't think I could look away from you long enough to see one.
👤︎ u/suyashve
📅︎ Oct 01
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please don’t break my heart

break my bed instead
👤︎ u/belalpaula
📅︎ May 18
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Hey there! You know you don't always have to DIY,

Give it a break, and let me do you.
📅︎ May 31
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If a man in a red suit kidnappes you in the middle of the night don’t be alarmed.

Because I wished for you for Christmas
📅︎ Dec 10
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Hey Sweety (girl's name)

Don't worry if someone tries to kidnap you. Cause i asked you for Christmas.
📅︎ Dec 26
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