Old Pick up lines

I always feel like I’m about to have a stroke Edit: Thanks for the awards! Hopefully my bad humour doesn’t rub you off...rub off on you

Guess I’ll have to date you to find out ;)

Hm, just wanted to say hi to everyone I'm new! :) But I just gotta say..if you are what you eat, then I'll be you by tomorrow ;)

Because I go down on you very smoothly

cause your beauty is driving me to madness

I’d rather kidnap you.

Cause you are never getting old just like the kid

(That was the whole pickup line)

Sweet and 18 years old.

Actually, you’ll be the cute one, and I’ll just be the lucky one

12 years old and mixed up with coke. Just Jokes btw... maybe there’s a different sub for these kind of jokes that I’m not aware of though.

Aged to perfection (I know the one about “12 years old and in my basement” its funny, but terrible to use on women)

Coz im trying to get inside you

you sure know how to raise a cock.

Because I want shove my 3.5" floppy into you ; )

Oh your 5, PERFECT!

Girl: "I know this one, it's old...." "Oh really? Then what's the punchline?" Girl: "Cuz You're the only ten I see" "Oh gee, thanks!! I was gonna say the same!" uWu

Coz I can't get you out of my head.

Because genes that good are meant to be passed down.

7 years old and trapped in a cellar in my basement

Because thinking about you keeps me awake at night.

-where? -In my dreams :) G(OLD)

Cuz I want to watch you get old in my basement

Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.

because I wanna ride until I can’t no more

Something along the lines of "hey girl. You remind me alot of my shower. Because I wanna cry inside you"

Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was … \[21:35, 13/04/2020\] Barrocas: Want to know how I went from Loser Virgin to Gang bangs in a short time? Not so long ago I was a video gamer. I used to play Call of Duty a lot!! For one of the games of the series I even had 52 days of game played. This is almost 2 full months of nonstop playing. I used video games as an escape from my real life that really sucked. I had no experience at the time with girls. I had no girlfriends I was just the friendzone kid, the nerd or the friend of the nerds. I was bullied as well. When I was a child, I was protected a lot. My mother was not letting me make my mistakes. I was soft on the inside. The bullies could sense that, so i was an easy target. Even if I moved school, I was still getting bullied. Also, when I had girls in my table in class I was just like a gay friend. Eventually I met a girl through a coworker. This was the first girl that actually got an interest in me. I even got her number. I would wait desperately when it was her turn to text me back or freak out when she didn´t reply immediately. When she replied I had seen on internet that i should not reply right away but I was really tempted and desperate. I eventually fucked that up. I got needy and she stopped replying. Since that moment I really got pissed! I got really frustrated so I decided I had to change something otherwise I would stay in this road FOREVER! I decided to start going out by myself. First started watching some videos and i thought what I was seeing there was way out of my reality. (I was watching just random videos of pranks and then I find out that they were all these videos about "game".) Couldn't believe what i was seeing in these videos. No way that was real! Lol I went out and I first tried to talk to girls but was too hard and way to out of my comfort zone. This is where a lot of guys go WRONG and just give up. Instead I decided to accept that I sucked, and went very small. Started by asking random simple things to people like going to old people and ask for directions or the time. I just wanted to be building up over time 1% every day. During my beginnings I had a lot of friends telling me to go to hookers and I told them to F\*\* off, “I am going to show you I can do it on my own”. Eventually, because I was going out by myself and pushing my limits, over time I started talking to girls. (that got me in some really funny stories like being arrested by the police but that is for another time 🤣) Finally after 5 months of going out i lost my virginity with a girl i approached in my town!! After 6 months found the Game community in Lisbon and met some guys I could go out with. After some time i started to get some more sporadic results and other close calls. Built my way up in the community and started organizing seminar in hotels and doing public speaking, giving value to the community. 2 years in finally found a real life mentor Dhurba Shrestha. He is what we call a "Natural" We went out for all full summer. We had a lot threesomes and gangbangs and even failed a couple of foursomes. We had a lot of fun! I learned a lot by going out with him and observing him. Became way more relaxed and natural than I was before. Now i look back and think how gamey I was. I talk way less and the impact of my words is way more powerful. Today when I say “Hi” it has the same impact has a huge opener. He really helped me go to the next level way quicker. I never thought I could have gang bangs…and girls actually love it!! The main thing that I learned from it was to not to be so possessive over a girl. To be able to share with another guy you must let go of that feeling of possession ( emotional attachment). So to finish off, You might think that right now you suck at talking to girls and it is difficult and hard But don't give up!! If you can't find help and you are by yourself and approaching girls is too hard for you.. Start with baby stepping!! Start talking to old people like I did and then build from there.. Slowly with time and pushing yourself a bit everyday you will start talking to girls Despite what i said previously, ideally you should not try this by yourself of course. Look for other wings to go out with, to motivate you or find someone better than you that is willing to mentor you or exchange some value so you can be around them and learn from them. Hope it was helpful Peace out 😘

Because you may be young but you look pretty old

Because your always bringing old shit back up

Because I wanna grow old with you. . .

Because I'm about to ride you off into the sunset.

To be tangent to your curves Any advice how to improve this old line?

It never gets old.

I'm 80 years old inside

Cause I need someone to date these old bones

Yet here you are without an old bearded man in sight

Cause I'm not old enough to responsibly be inside you yet, but I sure want some tuna right now.

I knows this pickup is really old but I still occasionally use it.

The characters: Downstairs neighbor - single man in his mid 30s Upstairs neighbor - 25 year old female living with her SO The scene: Upstairs neighbor's SO was out of town for 2 weeks, and Upstairs neighbor had gotten her car stuck in the icy driveway. Texted Downstairs neighbor to ask where rocksalt may be in the garage (one of only 4 texts that had occurred between these two parties during the full year of them being neighbors). Downstairs neighbor responds with the location of the rocksalt. The next morning - 6am Downstairs neighbor begins texting conversation with Upstairs neighbor. Somehow resulted in these lines "Wanna come down stairs? I have Netflix" After a cordial refusal and a few more sporadic texts, he goes for the clincher "I have often thought about being intimate with you"