DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR INNER BELIEFS?
This is not a process that comes in one day.
This is how I went about it.
One thing you must do is to be constantly learning.
Watch and follow different people and coaches and try to take and adapt the information to your specific situation.
You must be always questioning what they are saying don´t just accept what they say at face value.
Even experts have their own blind spots!!
While I was gaming, I was following different people with different approaches, then question those approaches and take my own conclusions.
So how did I shift my paradigm?
I was always curious.
You reinforce the paradigm you are in when you do it over and over again, and that happens because you do not question it.
For me it was always about questioning.
When I saw other behaviors, I asked:
“Where am I doing that?"
"Where am I acting like that?”
It is easier to watch others and see where they are fucking up but much harder to be self-aware and see where you are fucking up.
Until you bring it to your awareness!!
Being curious about your own mindset, your own thoughts, your own emotions. Ask “why should I feel like this or why I assume this is normal.
Is there a way to see myself that is better?
I Was always questioning myself and pushing.
Don´t assume what you are doing is the right thing, and that what you are doing is the best you can do. Always question it.
Is what I am doing the best thing I could be doing?
What alternatives are there?
What reality am I assuming to be true?
For example, there is the belief that game is painful and hard.
Is it really?
Or is what you are doing, and your perception that gives you that idea?
Maybe if you shift your perception this can help you perceive it has fun.
You can see rejection has a negative outcome of the interaction. Or you can see has you are playing a video game and you went up one experience point in your journey and your character is becoming stronger each interaction you go in.
Instead of just thinking what “did I do wrong. I am so stupid”. You can think “what was fun in this interaction?”
Shifting your perception can help you change your beliefs about yourself and what you are doing.
Are you always questioning yourself: “WHY AM I DOING THIS?”
A great and enlightening exercise is to Ask why I am doing this and go to the bottom of it- ask “WHY” several times in a row (at least 5 times) until you reach the deepest why.
After asking these questions constantly after some time I realized that one of the main reasons I was gaming was that I was looking for validation from woman and the man in the community.
I realized I was in for the wrong reasons and I was not really enjoying the process.
Even when I got laid, I was not enjoying it, I was elsewhere, thinking I was getting another lay count.
When I started to question those things, I stopped looking for validation. Once you realize this and let go of it, your Game starts improving. You become less worried about the outcomes of the interaction and what other people will think.
Women start feeling it that you are more present, and less needy.
What happens is that you feel less the need to try to control the outcome and you are carefree of it. The more you release of the need to try to control everything the better are your results. Seems counter intuitive but it is what I experienced.
Because you are not good enough you think you always must keep talking. You’re afraid she is going to go away. If you get rid of that fear, do what you feel like doing. Paradoxically that is what is going to get you laid more.
You must start being aware of your thoughts and how you feel, then you must start thinking that you are good enough. This comes with time while taking action and getting better, your confidence will improve, and your beliefs will shift.
When you believe that you are good enough and lose the need to try and control the outcomes is when you have more control and you EXPLODE your results.
Hope it was helpful