Dick Pick up lines

The best Dick pick up lines

My dick is a gentleman

It stands up so you can sit down
👤︎ u/ShoulderFluid
📅︎ Dec 20
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I would suck your dads dick

Just to get a taste of what you’re made of
👤︎ u/tinos4
📅︎ Jan 27
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Do you want 12 inches of dick tonight

Because we could have sex 4 times tonight
👤︎ u/crackit_boi
📅︎ Feb 11
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Hey girl are you a dick?

Because I want you in my mouth😏
👤︎ u/6PathsTendo1
📅︎ Jan 12
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What's the difference between you and a a Toaster?

I wouldn't put my dick in a toaster
👤︎ u/Belugaboy_
📅︎ Feb 16
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HEY girl, are you my dick??

Or why are you so hard?
👤︎ u/To-pro-guy
📅︎ Feb 04
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For those with balls of steel

Would you rather sit on a dick an eat a cake or sit on a cake and eat a dick?...... Cool, give me your number and address and I'll be round soon with a cake.
👤︎ u/GnireenignEesreveR69
📅︎ Jan 07
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My dick is called Life

Life is hard.
👤︎ u/The_Squiddy
📅︎ Nov 19
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My dick is an acronym

Cuz it stands for you
👤︎ u/gian_69
📅︎ Dec 18
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My dick is like the universe when I'm around you

It's constantly expanding
👤︎ u/fan-of-you
📅︎ Nov 20
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Hey girl, wanted let you know that MY DICK is an acronym

It's stands for you
👤︎ u/anon_outlaw
📅︎ Dec 18
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I like my women like I like my dick

Without getting in physical contact with any other dick
👤︎ u/shubhiboy
📅︎ Oct 29
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Girl, you can call me bill gates

Cuz this dick is Microsoft.
👤︎ u/the-1-tru-waffle
📅︎ Jan 15
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Hey dude, don’t know how it happened, but I lost my dick.

Mind if I borrow yours?
👤︎ u/houston_bbtm
📅︎ Oct 25
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Hey are you a blender?

because i wanna stick my dick inside u;)
👤︎ u/G9634
📅︎ Jan 17
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Hey the FBI are looking for my dick

Can I hide it inside you
👤︎ u/dingustinguss
📅︎ Oct 03
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My dick is like life...

When it gets hard you have to take it.
👤︎ u/WhyAMiherrre
📅︎ Aug 13
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Hey, you into fitness?

How bout you fitness dick in your mouth
👤︎ u/SeriouslyPurple
📅︎ Feb 13
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I like my women how I like my coffee.

Whithout someone else's dick in it.
👤︎ u/origineleappeltaart
📅︎ Feb 15
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Hey girl are you a cheese grater?

Because I want to put my dick inside you
👤︎ u/6PathsTendo1
📅︎ Jan 10
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I’d suck your dad’s dick...

Just to get a taste of what you’re made of
👤︎ u/Busted_hymen
📅︎ Aug 18
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Aye suck my dick and put a finger in my booty hole if I’m wrong, but do we know eachother?

but do we know eachother?
👤︎ u/WhyAMiherrre
📅︎ Aug 21
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Hey girl are you my dick

Because you're strong and inclined to the left
👤︎ u/pontiac-bandit_69
📅︎ Jun 30
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I think I’m allergic to you

Whenever you’re around, my dick starts to swell.
👤︎ u/eristical
📅︎ Jul 12
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I’ve heard you like fitness

Can I fit this dick in your ass?
👤︎ u/SHARRlS
📅︎ Jan 12
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They call my dick spare change

Cause I use it for snacks like you
👤︎ u/ZachSom20
📅︎ Nov 03
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You know why I Names my dick Rihanna?

So I can make like Chris Brown and Beat the shit of it. Now send me some nudes bitch.
👤︎ u/Littlemandas
📅︎ May 15
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Heyy girl are you a donut?

because I want to stick my dick right through you.
👤︎ u/codyybell
📅︎ Jan 02
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My dick is like a tic tac

*wanna freshen your breath*
👤︎ u/JustAPersonOwO
📅︎ Jan 13
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Damn baby are you a ceiling fan?

Because I want my dick stuck in you.
👤︎ u/cat_flavored_soda
📅︎ Dec 19
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Did you name your dick toothbrush?

Because I want to put it in my mouth every morning and night
👤︎ u/MiimuEmu
📅︎ Feb 13
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Hey girl are you my dick...

because id beat tf outta you ;)
👤︎ u/l_is_for_ludin
📅︎ Apr 01
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What if I name my dick 'mind'...

Would you blow my mind?
👤︎ u/sanchit_bahl
📅︎ May 11
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My dicks wanted by the FBI

Can I hide it inside you?
👤︎ u/Robinhapje
📅︎ Apr 17
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Call me coronavirus because this dick gunna make you choke all night.

I'm so proud I thought of this.
👤︎ u/CjSmh
📅︎ Apr 08
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Hey girl, what’s the difference between you and a vacuum cleaner?

A vacuum cleaner doesn’t scream when I stick my dick in it.
👤︎ u/AfricaToto93
📅︎ Oct 16
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Girl you're like my dick...

Cause you're really HARD to get - Day 107
👤︎ u/suyashve
📅︎ Apr 22
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You’re so hot I’d suck your dads dick for the recipe

and then go down on your mother for the oven temp
👤︎ u/khlamykoala
📅︎ Feb 25
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Ay girl, did you know my dick has a passport?

All I need from you is a visa to Djibouti.
👤︎ u/nsfmysociallife
📅︎ Nov 21
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Hey, are you a flower?

Cause when i saw you, my dick just ROSE.
👤︎ u/idrisitogs
📅︎ Nov 15
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My dick is such a gentleman

It'll even stand up and give you somewhere to sit
👤︎ u/DBandJ
📅︎ Mar 16
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A lot of guy's claim to have 8 inch dicks

But I'd never shortchange myself like that
👤︎ u/Ilike2MathDebate
📅︎ Feb 24
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Hey, did you get the seven dick pics I sent ?

No? Oh they were probably too big for the app to handle then
👤︎ u/djheavypickles
📅︎ Feb 18
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The only thing harder than waiting on God...

Is ma dick ayyyy wassup baby
👤︎ u/SalmonellaMaki
📅︎ Oct 15
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Damn girl, I’d drag my dick through a mile of broken glass..

Just to hear your fine ass fart through a walkie talkie.
👤︎ u/canorris_11902
📅︎ Dec 24
🚨︎ report

Hey girl, are you a blender?

Cause i wanna put my dick in you
👤︎ u/FeartheSerpent14
📅︎ Sep 14
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Do you work at Dicks?

Cuz your are sporting the goods
👤︎ u/Rokdout
📅︎ Sep 29
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Damn girl your so cute,

That I’d suck your dads dick just to get the recipe
👤︎ u/jacobl1999
📅︎ Mar 05
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You must work at Dicks sporting goods.

Cuz ya sure did pitch my tent!
👤︎ u/Donald_Trump_Himself
📅︎ Nov 22
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The FBI is searching for my dick

Can I hide it inside you?
👤︎ u/TheGoon14
📅︎ Aug 01
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Hey, patch notes came in.

You make my dick’s hit box larger
👤︎ u/Catfisher4
📅︎ Aug 21
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