Ear Pick up lines

Her: What? Me *whispers in her ear* : That's what you're supposed to say

Hey girl if music was invented by hitting on things then I'm going to be creating a perfect harmony by hitting on you. Do you like Phil Collins? Because I can feel it cumming in the air tonight. If I could give you a rating my pretty young thing then you would be in the top 40. You say I have the moves like Jagger but later tonight you'll be Rolling Stones. You and me girl we are so iN'SYNC together. I only have One Direrection and its up a one way exit street because that's what makes you beautiful. I can take you to a Bruno Mars concert or I can take you to Mars and back. Do you like pop girl because I can be your rock. Katy Perry said she kissed a girl and liked it so can I test that theory on you? Beyoncé said if I liked it I can put a ring on it. Hi my name is Ken, come on Barbie lets go party!

So, there was a thought about a few days ago which i figured could possibly work as a pick-up line if changed a bit, as for that thought/possible pick-up line if changed a bit, here it is: "Regular" version: "Isn't mascara, ear-rings lipstick and the like kind of dumb/stupid/unnecessary? "Pick-up line" version: "Don't you think that mascara, ear-rings, lipstick and the like is kind of dumb/stupid/unnecessary? "As for why i think so it's because it just messes with your skin and i don't think there's any reason as to why you should mess with perfection so i can't understand why you have **insert whichever one/ones of mascara, ear-rings, lipstick and the like that the person has on here** on.

Because every time I say your name there comes an ear-to-ear grin on my face...

Because mine is breathing through my ears.

Because I care about you and your mental health, hows life going? If you want to have a talk im all ears. I love you.

Because you'd need some ear protection when I'm drilling you

So I live in a community made artificially multicultural. All kinds of curious creatures with curious ears, tongues and orifices. It's quite common to try to establish common tongues. Often in an encounter the first thing you'll ask is where are you from or you'll step up the game and try to predict it up front. French, German, Romanian, Polish, Spanish, Italian, etc. I've tried learning these and I pick them up very quickly when I try but get bored. Different ways of saying the same thing. Dressing up the same thing differently. Best pickup line for me? It's not oh I know a bit of Spanish or Italian. It's I suck and blow at speaking different languages. I only know two or three. English, Cunnilingus and a bit of Anilingus, I never beat around the bush, I'm always in beating in the bush. Either works every time or it was never meant to happen.

Tell someone to measure one side of their ear. Measure your ear too, then compare. The moment she realizes that you both formed a heart shape, she'll surely laugh. Ladies can also do this. Comment the result here. :)

I drink. It’s enjoyable. I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit. But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye. I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice. One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about. A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different. So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time. Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't. After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that." My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again. Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me". That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip". She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride. The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption? I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.